Really irritated with this girls mother.

[Balloonhearts]

More of a vent than anything.

I work at a riding school who do weekend pony clubs in the summer, and a longer one over the holidays.

We match the riders to their ponies based on height, weight and experience/temperament.

One of my group is very overweight. Three stone heavier than her mother said she is on her form. She cannot ride the pony assigned to her or any of the ponies. She needs a horse. Which would have been fine if we knew when she booked.

Now I'm desperately trying to find a suitable mount before the 3 o clock hack so I don't have to tell this sweet girl that she is unable to go on the hack due to her weight.

WHY do people do this? Just be honest ffs! If we had the right numbers, she would have been given one of the horses but now there is no one suitable left.

Do you realise how petty and juvenile you sound? Pathetic!

Well done, you just cured obesity

OP you are a Saint! Well done for sorting, sounds like the girl was oblivious to all the drama! I hope that her mum apologises when you get to speak to her.

🙄 just don't be that person.

There is zero fat shaming by the OP

at the center of this is NOT the child, it’s the HORSE. A horse that literally can’t carry over its allowed weight without damage !

you can’t tiptoe around safety, everyone needs to declare their actual weight for the horse.

Happy update, today is sorted. One of the livery girls came to the rescue with her horse, a little 15hh cob. He's perfect size and reasonably well behaved in a group so hopefully today will go off without a hitch.

MT is back in his pasture. He's a little tired but in good spirits. He won't be coming back into work though, he does enjoy it but we have problems keeping him sound in regular work, we'd rather have him healthy, if a bit rounder in the pasture.

At his age, it's in his best interest, much as I miss my lessons and hacks on him. He is owned by the school so it's their decision but I think its the right one.

I see both sides here as I still remember my Dad doggedly asking my riding school owner for my favourite pony so I had the best time when I went for own a pony sessions and she made me stand on the scales and mortified me about my weight. I’m 45 and remember her tone and face when she screeched at me like it was yesterday.

Having said that I was 9.5st not 13st and you did the best thing for that girl. If she cares as much as you’ve said, she’ll want to do the right thing if she continues riding. I have two of my own now and am continually battling my weight to make sure I’m not too heavy and my ridden one is 18hh!

Have a fantastic day OP, hopefully it’ll be less stressful than yesterday!
The mum is clearly not understanding the relevance of providing your height and weight.
MT sounds fab!

This girls mother is an absolute fucking idiot and I’d be so angry at her for making life so much more difficult that it had to be and for being so dismissive of the horses welfare, but, from one horse girl to another, this post has properly cracked me up. You paint a vivid picture 😂

You're amazing. Tears in my eyes thinking about what you've done for this girl.
Hope the mum takes it well

I just wanted to say thank you for such a lovely thread. I know nothing about horses but what you have done for this young girl is fabulous. Hopefully her mother will realise the importance of being honest in the future, particularly when it comes to the wellbeing of animals and the impact we can have on them.

My DD’s riding school are very strict. We have to update height and weight every 6 months. Weight includes riding gear as well. My eldest DD did a beginner walk a couple years ago. She was a the top weight so was able to rode. However since then they have reduced their weight for beginners and now she can’t ride. She’s 15 and autistic and I’ve told her. They do have bigger horses but they are not for beginners. The riding school have also publicised that they will weigh the riders if they feel that their weight is incorrect and there are scales in reception.

The mother will know. Those saying mothers don’t know their kids weight, well they know if they’re overweight and should be weighing for things like this. When my DD was 10 and y6 we didn’t tell her that she got the overweight letter from the school weight heck they get. Back then she didn’t look massively overweight and we know that the BMI thing is ridiculous. However she has had medication which has caused weight gain and when she was a bit older we did have to tell her she was classed as overweight. And for those saying the child at 13 won’t know, she probably does know.

I think the mother has been deceptive or doesn’t want to come to terms with the child’s weight. But the nurses welfare is also important and as a rising school OP you need to make it clear why the weight is imprtant. My younger daughter who rides weekly rides a combination of ponies and horses. She’s at a good weight for both. She gets a mix depending on what work the horses have done already that day/week. The horses all need to carry a mix of riders so that they aren’t always carrying just light or just heavy. One of her friends is tiny and always gets the same pony or the same 2 ponies alternatively but this is due to the level (jumping) as some of the others she can ride aren’t jumping ponies and there’s only one or 2 horses she usually rides but the jumping class has much more older bigger riders so the bigger ponies are always used for them.

And for all those who are making sarky remarks about the OP being able to tell at a glance. I suspect that if OP has been working for a long time on the yard and knows their ponies and horses they’ll have a good idea of being able to see which riders look wrong/right sat on certain horses.

Edited to say I just read your update. You went way being what you should have done to accommodate this child. But the mother needs to know that you need her correct weight. If you’re using the ecpro system I’m guessing the computer allocates the horses and switching one or two last minute can be hard. Also I’ve often gone to book late and been told yes there’s a space as we can see it on the app, but no there isn’t a horse available as they’ve all been marched. We now book well in advance.

Yes but my point was they would be clearly stating that guesstimates(or delusions) about their child's weight are not enough, and they very likely will not be able to fix the issue and what the issue is ie booking a horse rather than the usually pony.
It just throws the responsibility more clearly back in the parents court - where it obviously always belonged-and also explains why it's needed because non-horsey people may not grasp the significance of weight and the problem in accurate information may cause their child. I work with children for many years and have learned the hard way that spelling things out very bluntly (even v obvious stuff) on forms is the only way to go.

🙄🙄🙄 we don't shame for being big sized but big sized egos and a massive sense of entitlement, which apply to you here. No matter your self esteem problems you don't get to just about kill a horse to feel good about yourself lol

OP your writing is brilliant and has really cheered me up. What a fantastic effort to protect a young girl who has a stupid mother. Well done you.

Bravo!! Now we require an update on mum's reaction to being told off later please 😂

Can I just say how awesome you have come across, my youngest loves horses and goes on 30 minute rides often as he’s a little too young for proper lessons.
One stable we went to the lady was so abrupt and not child friendly at all, she made him anxious and he never wanted to go there again which was such a shame.
My niece went to another and found the same sort of experience, luckily we were recommended another local (ish) place and they’ve been lovely.
I think most people based on our experience would have phoned her mum and in no uncertain terms told her she couldn’t go and to come and get her so thank you for going above and beyond.

I know the underlying issue isn't really funny, but your account of how you managed the situation really made me laugh, and well done Major Tom! A serious talk needs to be had with the mother!

This thread has been a joy to read. OP, your kindness to the young girl and your concern for the well-being of the ponies and horses shines through your words. I also like how the young girl showed such concern for Benji.

Thank you for posting about this pickle starring heroine OP, young girl, villian mother, hero of the hour Major Tom, sick (pretend) Benji and last but not least James who in response to losing his street cred fancies a munch on OP’s arm. Glorious.

You are lovely @Balloonhearts 💖

Can you find exactly where I was proposing killing horses?

The girl couldn't ride a pony if she was too heavy for it. So the OP found a horse that she could ride. It's basic customer service, not awesome super-heroism.

The mum got the daughter's weight wrong, but it doesn't make her a potential horse murderer. Maybe she made a mistake when she wrote it down, maybe she doesn't know the weight of her daughter and guessed, maybe she's not aware of the parameters of how much a pony could carry.

But keep banging on about the sweet fat girl "wobbling" on her horse, OP. Well done.

I'm hoping the mum will then start her own outraged thread about it on mumsnet! 😁

Thanks for coming on to a goodnatured thread, written with humour as a 'dear diary' and with serious concerns at its heart - horse welfare, and tact when dealing with the sweet girl - and bringing us all down.

I think you handled this situation brilliantly and you're great!

You sound like a fantastic human! Love the sound of your horses:)