Really irritated with this girls mother.

[Balloonhearts]

More of a vent than anything.

I work at a riding school who do weekend pony clubs in the summer, and a longer one over the holidays.

We match the riders to their ponies based on height, weight and experience/temperament.

One of my group is very overweight. Three stone heavier than her mother said she is on her form. She cannot ride the pony assigned to her or any of the ponies. She needs a horse. Which would have been fine if we knew when she booked.

Now I'm desperately trying to find a suitable mount before the 3 o clock hack so I don't have to tell this sweet girl that she is unable to go on the hack due to her weight.

WHY do people do this? Just be honest ffs! If we had the right numbers, she would have been given one of the horses but now there is no one suitable left.

🤣🤣🤣

I think ye will need to be more blunt in the booking form ie ' you will need to physically weigh your child so correct weight is given and a horse can be booked if needed. Failure to provide accurate information may result in the booking being cancelled if no horses available after weighing takes place at hat-fitting. There will be no refunds due to inaccurate information provide at booking'
You are a lovely person to handle this so we'll, and I hope James gets over his sulk!

@Balloonhearts You sound like an amazing person and instructor.

That said, I hope the owner really lets the mom have it (quietly and out of her daughter's earshot) tomorrow.

@Balloonhearts I also know next to nothing about horses but this thread has really made me smile, laugh and be moved at your kindness. You sound great and I absolutely love the descriptions of your horses. Well done Major Tom.

Maybe some good will come out of this. The mum will realise how big her daughter is and help her lose weight, which in turn hopefully will lead to a better life for her daughter long term, without all the health implications that being obese can bring. Also she will be able to continue riding which will be a great form of exercise

oh your description is so funny! We have a horse so I can just imagine the scene! I was going to suggest was there anyone to lead her on the big one but sounds like you got it sorted!

@Balloonhearts I know someone who has had exactly the same issue a few years ago with a child that turned up that was much heavier than stated and the horse wasn't suitable.

They didn't have an alternative available (very busy sessions) so all they could do was tell the child that unfortunately their parent had made a mistake on the form when they wrote down their height and weight so sadly the horse they'd allocated them wasn't the right fit, but they'd rebook the session for another time so they'd get an amazing horse to ride.

The mum looked rather embarrassed apparently but all was fine in the end.

Some parents are genuinely delusional about their child's weight though.

Oh come on people playing dense

OP might not be able to say 'that person is exactly 10st 2lb' but OP could clearly look at (for the example) a 10 year old and know instead of the purported 90lb on the form the child is closer to 130. Its not like the difference between 90lb and 100lb, 3 stone is pretty noticeable.

I have been both weights its pretty damn noticeable on me at 5 foot 7 so it will be very noticeable on a child of 4 foot odd.

She has a responsibility to protect her animals. Why should an animal face lifelong pain and problems because someone just couldn't be honest with themself.

So glad you handled this so well. The mother is not helping the child by lying and I hope she learns something from this but i doubt it. I work providing classes and tours, and people like this just walk away going it all worked out so what's the big deal It's infuriating.

I recently discovered this is an issue in tourist horse riding in ireland. Stables have to bluntly tell.people they lied about their weight and it's unsafe for the horse. Then they get slated in online reviews.

OMG you sound like an amazing person! So caring and considered and I bloody love you!
Rare for me to be positive or complimentary on here so... ITS TRUE - YOURE A BRILLIANT HUMAN!

Obviously not 🤣 why would you assume it’s the same when this has happened?

I think OP was perfectly legally able to deny the girl a ride, but you still then have an overweight child being told they can’t do something they’re presumably very excited to do because their parents have let them become so overweight. And that’s not a nice scenario for anyone involved, so better to avoid it at all possible.

There is no such as thing as fat shaming when it comes to horse welfare.

There’s always one! 🙄

I hope that you can charge the mother extra and a significant amount for lying, it is technically seeking to obtain services by deception. Or just not thinking about the possibility of an animal being in discomfort or pain.

I think you went out of your way to avoid the child suffering because of the lie, which should be commended.

But unless I am misunderstanding something, this is exactly what happened? The OP says the girl was weighed during the hat fitting, which is what the poster you quoted suggested.

Feel better now??

Hahaha I’m so glad I live alone!your dipscriptuon of what was happening had almost crying!also why is there a poney called James who Always bites lol 😂 well done for not leaving her!I hope the mother feels bad but I know she won’t!

I agree. Spell it out

Beautifully handled, OP! You sound brilliant.

And well done, Major Tom! Sounds like he enjoyed being back at work for a day?

Op this has to be one of my favourite threads. You handled the situation, with grace and style.
Hopefully the owner can express to the mum how impressed you were with her dd attitude bit emphasise importance of being honest about weight as it wouldnt have stopped her taking part, just made everything harder to organise

I am absolutely terrified of horses and horsey people (I was chased by a group of girls on horses for being "weird" - ie autistic - when I was a kid and it's stuck with me) but I love your description of Major Tom.

I must admit I clicked on this thread because I thought it made a refreshing change for someone on Mumsnet to be "really irritated" rather than "absolutely raging"; however, I have thoroughly enjoyed reading this account. I am not horsey but read all the Jill books and couldn't help remembering the chubby little Cholly Sawcutt girls. Mind you, chubby in those days would probably pass as perfectly normal today.

Have I ever ridden a horse? No.
Did I read this whole thread? Yes, you all sound fab, except for this poor girls mum.
I've always wanted to ride a horse, but always been too tubby to do so... hoping I will manage it next year!