Hell is a terraced house with a hot tub, bar and outdoor tv.

[SorbetSarnie]

Or more accurately, hell is what I'm going through living next door to this abominable set up.

Family from hell moved in not that long ago. Drunken pot smoking father who attended a house party in the mid 90's and apparently never left, a wife who to be fair seems like she's lost the will to live or smile, and an assortment of teenagers who like to invite all their mates round and shout about dildos and cumming in people's eyes.

The garden has slowly morphed into something resembling a butlins, which is fairly impressive as we all only have narrow postage stamp gardens. It started with a hot tub, progressed to an outdoor bar, and has culminated this weekend in some sort of wooden shack thing made of fences with a tin roof, housing an outdoor television.

The second the sun comes out it is thumping tunes ALL day, which to be fair sometimes gets turned down a little at 11 pm. Unfortunately tonight it has now been replaced by some shitty action movie being loudly played in the garden, as the family members converse in their usual dulcet yells. Must have affected their hearing with all that drum and bass.

Yes, we have tried talking to them. The father seemed to indicate through grunts that he had understood my attempt at communication with a primitive life form, however we were then treated to angle grinding in the street regularly for a few nights, as he loudly complained about the 'stuck up bitch next door' and proclaimed that I'd be 'having that'.

No, I currently can't move. I'm working on it but realistically not going to be any time soon. I'd imagine the house would be a hard sell at the moment too, most prospective owners would run a mile.

I guess I just wanted to rant, I'm so tired. I've actually found myself on the brink of tears a few times tonight, mainly from frustration. They went away last week and it was wonderful. The entire estate was practically silent, just the usual buzz of every day life going on made me really appreciate just what loud obnoxious bastards they are.

Could you get together enough money to employ a hitman?

YANBU 💐 Report ASB every time and then request a case review once you’ve made 3 reports

You have a very different perception of Butlins than my memories of family holidays there.

Oh god I really really feel for you

Is this really the only thing that sprang to mind?

It’s called hyperbole.

I'd be lying if I said murder had never crossed my mind. Especially on a night like tonight where the options are to listen to the show all night or boil alive (air con unit is being delivered next week to hopefully save us).

I also have to admit that I'm scared of reporting further. I did call to report an incident to the police a couple of months ago. The father and oldest teenage son were beating the living crap out of each other on the front garden as the rest of the family screamed. The police turned up and it quieted down.

The problem is after they left the father/son combo managed to put aside their fight for the greater good, I.e. harassing me for the next couple of weeks as they figured no one else had ever complained (to their face).

I know I could have kept calling the police back, but they didn't really do anything when they came out and I didn't want things to keep escalating. They went back to just being their usual arsehole selves after a while.

I have tried on a couple of occasions to say hello but she just glares at or ignores me.

I feel sorry for her though, the way the husband and teenage sons speak to her is atrocious.

Get a radio in the garden to play Classic FM loudly on maximum volume every time they disturb you. I have a feeling they really, really won't like that. Maybe some lift music? Or even better, put some porn sounds on. No doubt the neighbours will all think it's them and complain.

this sounds absolutely awful OP. 😭 It's the kind of frustration that seeps into your bones and worse , you feel totally helpless. A home is meant to be a haven and sanctuary.

this is also why sometimes people don't try to talk to neighbours first and just go straight to reporting. It's understandable to want to shield oneself from abuse/retaliation.

God, I bloody love my antisocial neighbours who say a polite hello but all seem to go to bed at 9pm. One side has a hot tub but have had it 12 years so the novelty has well and truly gone and it’s rarely used. Someone at work was bragging they had a tv screen in their garden (terraced house) and I wasn’t surprised because they’ve always given me the impression they’re a selfish twat.

What utterly grim people.

Definitely report it. Environmental health should be able to give you a noise monitor.

Some people are monstrously selfish

Are they do what you likies??

Why did the mother select her husband to begin with?

OP, while it may cost some money, have you explored options around headphones to filter background noise, or ear plugs? They can't annoy you if you can't hear them and if you aren't engaging, they will inevitably become bored and move on to fighting each other again (and to be honest, if the father and teenager are fighting each other, then they're both losing and you're winning, so no need to intervene).

Are they using Bluetooth Speakers in the garden?

You have my deepest sympathy OP. My friend lives next door to a hot tub and bar set up. They also seem to have an extraordinary amount of lighting. It’s like Close Encounters. Friend is absolutely tortured on hot nights. The only saving grace is that it doesn’t go on too late because the neighbours have small children. Friend’s mum has Alzheimer’s and no social filter and has been known to make loud, disapproving remarks about being able to see their ‘disgusting antics’ through the fence, which quietens things down, albeit temporarily. They aren’t actually doing anything disgusting, but hey whatever works😆

I think I'd consider learning the trumpet (or something else loud) and practising with the windows open if they were my neighbours...

That will definitely deescalate the situation.

I have had my share of annoying noisy neighbours in terraced housing as the house next to us is rented out, the landlord does little repairs and it has a damp problem so people only tend to stay for a year so we have had a lot of neighbours in the 20 years we've lived here. Most of them seem to like noise in one form or another, whether it is loud parties multiple times a week, loud music, a husky which was never walked and howled for hours at a time. Lots of them like putting music on really loudly in the house, but then having the back door open so they can sit in the garden listening to it.

A few weeks ago DP and I were talking about the inconsiderateness of it and how if everyone decided to do that no one would be able to enjoy their music, and then it hit me maybe we should try it. So the next time they put their music on to listen to in the garden I put mine on and opened the windows and back door. I genuinely like heavy metal and a lot of bassey shouty music which I know a lot of people don't like. Incredibly since then they have not done it again. They are still listening to music in the house, but it is not so loud that it stops me from hearing my tv. So DP and I came to the conclusion that they must really have been so thick that they didn't realise what it was like for others when they had their music on really loud. So maybe if you haven't already tried it, you should be noisey when they are trying to watch their outdoor tv, it might get the point across better than just asking them to keep it down. And if they ask you to turn it down you can at least point out the irony to them.

I feel I should say that the neighbours I did this to I only did it as I felt if they tried to punch me I had a chance of fighting back. There are some neighbours we had where I wouldn't have risked doing anything that I thought would possibly wind them up to violence as with those neighbours I would have stood no chance (fortunately they got removed by the police one day and we never saw them again).

How the hell is she supposed to know that??

Have they bought the house next door or are they renting either via council or private ?

Play Mozart loudly. It really upsets them. Several councils near where I live have used this to effectively break up gangs of youths gathering in car parks, etc.