To miss the first lockdown?

[TidyOchreReader]

I know it was a tough time for many but I genuinely loved that first lockdown. I think about it all the time. There was something strangely blissful about slowing down, having fewer obligations and just focusing on connecting with people - even though we couldn’t physically see them. And when you did see someone, the gratitude was immense. AIBU to feel nostalgic for that time?

@RichHolidayPoorHoliday

You keep a dignified and gracious silence on a thread posted by someone grieving a lost relative or a thread started about the mental health damage on your teen or something.
You can absolutely START a thread about something positive for you.
It's astonishing how people try to dictate what others are feeling or have the right to say? Everybody's experience is as valid as yours!

You can of course start a thread about whatever you like, as is your right. It's also my right to find this post tacky, unoriginal, insensitive and self-indulgent and to say so. I have as much right to my opinions as the OP does.

Everyone's experience is "valid". The question is whether posting these experiences adds to the debate.

I think the OP's position is vapid and morally bankrupt. She can post whatever she wants, I will continue to think its vapid and morally bankrupt.

Where to start? For example, I worked with deaf and disabled people, who experienced a level of access when things pivoted to online delivery they had never known. So many online events were made accessible to them through BSL or captioning provision that had never been before. Many service providers really appeared to give thoughts to making their online events as accessible as possible.

The shortage of BSL interpreters etc was far less an issue for online events than it was for in-person because service providers were not constrained to only use BSL interpreters who lived nearby. An interpreter could do multiple jobs a day, providing services to people all over the country (and further afield). That's not possible for in-person provision because people can't physically jump from John O'Groats to Plymouth in the space of 10 minutes. All of that is possible online.

Services for deaf people and access to all kinds of things dramatically improved during the lockdowns. Services providers claimed to be fully committed to providing improved access one everything opened back up again. Then things DID open back up and it was back to the same old, same old.

Thanks I was thinking more physical issues that's bad that things weren't kept in place for the hearing impaired and that is definitely a step backwards.

My grandmother died without me being able to see her. My close friend desperately missed being able to see her grandchildren and family and I spent it working my ass off on my own in a basement trying to send out as many online orders as I could to keep the company I worked for in business for it to only close down shortly afterwards anyway putting a lot of people out of work. So no I do not miss lockdown at all!

This is what I have trouble with. Someone being policed for starting a thread on an anonymous forum. If the OP said something similar in real life to a person who they knew had endured increased domestic abuse, lost a family member or suffered due to isolation or illness or poverty, then of course it would be stupidly insensitive. But it’s a big big world with lots of people with lots of different experiences, all of which are valid. You can always rely on Mumsnet for a good dose of black and white thinking and a healthy dollop of whataboutery.

you do you.

Others posters have said she SHOULDN'T post. Of course she should.
I find people who only believe in their own experience and try to dictate how others should feel the tacky and unoriginal and self-indulgent ones frankly.

The question is whether posting these experiences adds to the debate.
actually, It does. For example, so many (office) people have seen their work scheduled completely transformed by the lockdown, because people realise things COULD be done differently, because the money to put the infrastructure in place was spent anyway. On MN, everybody is apparently told to go back to the office 5 days a week, in real life, many companies don't even have enough desk to accommodate the staff there anyway.

Acknowledging the positives of the lockdown IS a good thing.

If people want to have a thread where they discuss their nostalgia about their "quiet" or whatever life they had, who are all these people telling them they can't? If posters want to discuss what they can do to replicate the aspects they like, and what they can't (because of peer pressure or god knows what)
LET THEM BE.

Your shit lockdown is not any better because everyone was miserable.

@Butchyrestingface

Many of my clients say the same thing - and no, it's NOT possible for them to recreate that experience now. The accessibility they so enjoyed for, in many cases, the first time in their lives as disabled people, completely dried up the minute we went back to in-person events. They caught a glimpse of what their lives COULD be like and then it was snatched away from them again.

I understand what you're saying: a lot of people enjoyed being able to take their foot off the pedal and enjoy more quality time and some people have tried and largely failed to make this a more permanent feature of their lives. And people who previously had felt very marginalised were now included in a way they hadn't been. Who couldn't relate to that?

Let's put to one side the point about the tact of posting about what a wonderful time you're having when people are dying and going broke: I feel really strongly about this but that's not what you're talking about...

What has worried me a great deal is the fetishization of people retreating from society which has occurred over the past five years. COVID wasn't the only factor here: there are lots of other social and technological triggers (smartphones are a big one). But COVID empowered a lot of people to say: "I'm going to opt out of being a social person and this is a good thing". All the posts about people spending time with "my little family" etc. People who had previously struggled with having to interact with other people felt liberated not to do it so they just stopped.

Some people welcome this on the grounds that it lets them off the hook with having to go to dinner parties etc. I don't welcome it. I think a healthy society depends on a complex network of relationships between different types of people. Part of the reason why, as a society, people are so polarised nowadays is because these networks which has sustained and connected people for centuries are being eroded and people have less and less contact with other people who are different from them.

This bizarre atomisation of society found its rallying cry during COVID and a lot of the "taking it slow" and "reconnecting" narratives really play into this idea of people retreating into small family units. So I find it really hard to feel positive about people posting screeds about how great it was that they only saw their husband and children for 18 months. To me, there's nothing positive about that at all and I don't want to be feeling nostalgic about this.

Everyone had a different experience. But I do miss the first lockdown. I understand for many it was not an enjoyable time, but as much as it was awful for some, it wasn't for others. Everyone's life is different and some people's lives were affected negatively and others positively. Just the way the cookie crumbles! I'm sure if it happened now I wouldn't enjoy it because my life now has changed a lot since then.

You post reminded me at the height of lockdown my child headteacher sent a whole school message to take the day off and paint rocks, to have a happy well being day! and post the results on their school platform as part of a competition. I read it and nearly choked on my morning coffee. Shops were shut so couldn’t get paint, no rocks about as we couldn’t go very far from home and the majority of mums were key workers working from home. I was desperately working for my employer to keep a roof over our head but teachers were instructing us into this strange alternative world making mothers feel guilty for not being able to give there child the same experience as others.

Yes it's good to debate topics sometimes and good to voice your opinion on something whether you agree or disagree with posters. Cant expect people to be silent if they view something differently.

I think it’s ok to miss the lockdown period if you actually had a half decent time.

I don’t miss the pandemic but I do miss some elements of lockdown. I have a busy life in a busy city and was looking after my primary school aged child along - yes there were stresses, but as a mum I had to try so so hard to make the experience as I scary as possible for her. And on the back of that we did create lovely memories that we speak about today. And because of the massive community action, which we never get in my city, I met so many neighbours who I am friends with now and I would have never met - mainly because we all have such busy lives and we came together virtually to help our neighbourhood.

It was definitely bitter sweet - but these posts can be insensitive. As there are people with awful memories. Whilst some of us feel fortunate to have made it out, whilst managing to take a break and reflect. It could have gone either way for any of us - and I don’t miss the high anxiety - particularly from the first lockdown

There were physical access issues as well that obviously improved with everything moving online. Disabled people, non-drivers and even people who were just plain dog-tired after a long day at work, could now attend online meetings and events that were usually held in inaccessible buildings, the arse end of nowhere, the other end of the country, etc, etc.

For many of the people I worked with, the difference that all this sudden improved access made to their lives (however temporarily) really can’t be overstated. They GAINED community, participation and confidence from the lockdowns, not the isolationist bubbles that some posters seem to think was the only outcome of lockdowns.

Thankyou @Orangeandpurpletulipsexactly

@RichHolidayPoorHoliday

The question is whether posting these experiences adds to the debate.
actually, It does. For example, so many (office) people have seen their work scheduled completely transformed by the lockdown, because people realise things COULD be done differently, because the money to put the infrastructure in place was spent anyway. On MN, everybody is apparently told to go back to the office 5 days a week, in real life, many companies don't even have enough desk to accommodate the staff there anyway.

Look I'm a huge fan of working from home. I've worked mainly from home since 2020 and wouldn't go back to full time office work if you paid me. I think that argument has largely been won, despite the rhetoric coming from the banks and accountancy firms.

But I don't see how one person's faux wide-eyed revelation that they had Very Good War face painting and baking muffins really supports that narrative. The OP's thread just sounds like special pleading for mummies who miss pottering in their vegetable patch.

@BogRollBOGOFyes, Thankyou I have three gorgeous kids and a good job (far from well paid 😂) and no contact with that person. I’m not bitter or anything but posts like the op are so ridiculous.

The OP's thread just sounds like special pleading for mummies who miss pottering in their vegetable patch.

and so what?

Surely a forum that size is the best place to find people with similar interests and memories?

Isn't that the whole point of MN? Talk about any random or less random subjects and exchange on the subject.

The pandemic and lockdown, with its extreme universal reliance on technology in every aspect of life provided fertile testing ground for AI. This is when it started to seep in and be trained, ready for the absolute explosion of it now.

Things like the 77th brigade were beavering away in the background, monitoring and manipulating against "disinformation" even when people were just asking questions about things that didn't add up.

On the tech front it was as close to a lab created environment on both practical and psychological fronts. We were all in thrall to tech - Covid apps, vaccination passports etc.

A fully digitised society run by AI is the nightmare fuel for dozens of Dystopian Sci Fi films and novels. If you can't see the correlation, with deepest irony, Google (or Claude) could be your friend.

No event occurs in isolation, and without alteration of the "time" before. The ripples may seem subtle but they go on.

I dont think it changed anyone though, just gave certain people the internal power to stand up more for who they are. Someone who hated socialising but just went along with it, found the voice to say actually no, I'm going to live my life the way I want. People haven't actually changed.

Some of the most sociable people I know are in some ways the most unaccepting of different types of people. They socialise with their own kind, people that are like them. They keep 'different' people at arms length. These networks of sociable people still operate in a bubble in reality.

I understand what you're saying: a lot of people enjoyed being able to take their foot off the pedal and enjoy more quality time and some people have tried and largely failed to make this a more permanent feature of their lives. And people who previously had felt very marginalised were now included in a way they hadn't been. Who couldn't relate to that?

That is NOT what I’m saying. The very opposite of what I’m saying. Many of the client group I worked with (disabled people) were able to fully put their feet ON the pedal - in some cases for the first time in their lives - due to lockdown.

They were able to WFH, improved accessibility provision meant they could attend online events and meeting anywhere in the country and know if they asked for access provision, they stood a reasonable chance of getting it. Lockdowns and the improved online access gave many disabled people the chance to experience the everyday, basic pleasures that so many non-disabled people take absolutely for granted.

In terms of accessibility, my client group wasn’t silo-d or more isolated - they had far more access to community, to other people, to participation, to a fuller life.

But the minute we pivoted back to in-person delivery, all of that went out the window and it was business as usual.

@RichHolidayPoorHoliday

Surely a forum that size is the best place to find people with similar interests and memories?
Isn't that the whole point of MN? Talk about any random or less random subjects and exchange on the subject.

of course. It doesn't mean all opinions are equal though. Or that people shouldn't have their opinions challenged.

I find it fascinating because a lot of people talk about it as if the world stopped and changed completely (which for many people I suppose it sort of did?).

I was a trainer in the ambulance service at the time so no furlough, we had to condense our training dramatically to get more people through as quickly as possible, so it was a very hectic time at work.

DD was in a school hub as a key worker child, I didn't have to queue for the shops or anything because they had that NHS worker priority thing. We were fairly new to the area and didn't have many friends there at that point. Life carried on mostly as normal except that we couldn't travel to visit family and DD's Rainbows group had stopped.

I don't miss it but yeah, it's always a bit strange to hear people talk about March 2020 as this massive shift and to feel like I didn't experience that!

Or that people shouldn't have their opinions challenged.

Their opinions of their own memories and experiences? Righty ho.

Are you suggesting they released the covid virus in order to have a world controlled by AI?

Or that people shouldn't have their opinions challenged.

challenged? You want to challenge people's own experience and feelings?

I think this was a massive part of it.

The only other times I have felt similar is walking through (certain bits of) London when either the marathon or Ride London has been on and many roads have been closed to vehicles. It’s peaceful and you can enjoy the scenery.

The ‘slower pace of life’ everyone on here thinks people can recreate for themselves rely on the vast majority of people adopting the same pace.

Much increased WFH, much less rushing from school to work to lunch back to work back to school to 2 separate clubs with 2 seperate kids and then home for dinner, maybe via a supermarket. Every day. All in the car. Multiplied by the whole country. That not happening is what I miss from the lockdown period, so unless the world is happy to return again to vastly WFH, every family is willing to go to and accept their closest school, and have a SAHP to walk the school run etc etc then no. I can’t recreate the safe and peaceful walks, bike rides etc. Of course I accept that the above will likely never ever be possible, people seem to love commuting for more money rather than prioritising a local job, some kids SEN means they have to go o a school miles away, and councils give choices and schools are oversubscribed, bosses love bums on seats and we are where we are. It’s out of individual control a lot of the time. That’s why all I have is to be nostalgic about that bit of 2020 when the sun was out, the cars were off the road and you could just enjoy your local neighbourhood.