To miss the first lockdown?

[TidyOchreReader]

I know it was a tough time for many but I genuinely loved that first lockdown. I think about it all the time. There was something strangely blissful about slowing down, having fewer obligations and just focusing on connecting with people - even though we couldn’t physically see them. And when you did see someone, the gratitude was immense. AIBU to feel nostalgic for that time?

I think it’s fine to feel like this in your head, but not to express it unless you know your audience well.

For me it was the opposite of a blissful slowing down, it was hell on earth.

Single parent, at that time to 6 and 11 year olds. Public sector job that couldn’t be furloughed but not then considered key so had to work full pelt whilst trying to home school. Then 6 yo later diagnosed with ADHD so really couldn’t do any work independently, and bored to tears unless on screens. Plus no adult company.

Then seeing family without young children, often retired, posting picture of themselves sitting blissfully in gardens, knowing they had cast iron excuse not to help me when I was in hell.

We also live in London so no lovely beautiful countryside or seaside walks. And people were utter bastards about “their” areas and no one coming to them for walks.

It was such a horribly unequal time and the government made no effort at all to equal it out, so the burdens fell more fairly, especially in the first lockdown.

Edit - oh and exh decided to go completely to grown and obviously couldn’t be interrupted in his work. And when he did have the kids he was constantly bringing 6 yo back after a few hours rather than having him overnight as “oh he wants to come back”.

@Thepeopleversuswork

This bizarre atomisation of society found its rallying cry during COVID and a lot of the "taking it slow" and "reconnecting" narratives really play into this idea of people retreating into small family units. So I find it really hard to feel positive about people posting screeds about how great it was that they only saw their husband and children for 18 months. To me, there's nothing positive about that at all and I don't want to be feeling nostalgic about this.

I just want to say that I think it is fabulous if you spent more time with your family when you usually wouldn’t. And if you genuinely created great memories. For me things weren’t bliss, I was furloughed, had a child and couldn’t see anyone else. But I do have amazing memories with my daughter that we speak about today. And I think it is so so important that we value small family units because in my opinion we don’t value family enough - we are so individualistic.

I sadly know so many people who this scenario was a curse for though! So many break ups. But I also know couples who are surprised that they survived covid and are stronger for it.

Whilst I agree with a few of your points, I want to highlight that for me, I find that the UK is one of the worst places to raise a family. I have 2 kids - the stats show that children in the UK are the most unhappiest in Europe and we have the worst paternity. Our school system is failing many children and the fact that as parents we work are butts off and have a poor work/life balance means it’s horrible for some children. Child poverty is going up! Record high of children in temp accommodation, crowded homes.

If we had a sense of pride in our families and a sense to protect the family unit, would things be better? Not sure. But I would love to see more support for families. A safe and loving home makes more balanced people (in my opinion).

I want to highlight that it is so important that we acknowledge family ties. But being a strong family can also make you a blessing to your community. I was a single mum during covid and some of the most amazing people that helped out had families - children and husbands or partners, and also contributed by helping at food banks or creating a virtual library - and brought the kids along with them.

I guess what I’m trying to say is family is important. And it shouldn’t be either or - you can go away with your family and spend quality time with them - and can spend 18 months locked away - but families are strong contributors to their communities (some).

No, I'm pointing out the penalty use of disaster capitalism which comes with a side effect of psychological manipulation.

My tinfoil hat is in the wash.

Away with you and your attempts to put words in my mouth.

Covid was real.

Its origins are still not fully determined, and until they are, we remain none the wiser.

I'm trying to understand your point about AI and bringing it up on a thread about missing lockdown that's all.

I don’t.

My recently widowed mother was left alone and like many 2 of my children were left very unwell from it as a result. They were left high and dry by CAMHS and their entire year group were utterly shafted in the education system. Schools and services are still dealing with the impact from loss of schooling and care years later. And all the time Tories partied.

It was ridiculous and completely unnecessary.

One more try - lockdown was the opportunity to acclimatise people to a world totally reliant on tech, most of which is now driven by AI, which has more downsides and potential for long term harm than upsides - a bit like lockdown really.....

I find it hard to believe the hospitals were overwhelmed. During lockdown I had an important medical procedure postponed yet the same week the hospital staff posted a TikTok dance video. Overwhelmed my arse.

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing I totally get your post - it’s about reading the room -

imagine a situation where the economy totally crashed and 50% of the population were suddenly in abject poverty ( and I think those who had an ok time and those who didn’t is around 50/50) whilst people all around you were losing their jobs and businesses, living on streets, trying to sell houses , scavenging etc - and you were busily posting that you had bought some great bargains, got a house at 50% less, holiday at 40% less etc .
We would all say ‘read the room’ - when something like the Covid situation affects so many people , not an odd few here and there I do think you have to read the room before posting - it doesn’t mean that it’s not ok to have been ok or even quite liked some aspects, I just think it’s one of those things to reflect on and best kept in your head given the amount of people whose lives have been devastated by it . From long covid, to life savings wiped out, homes lost, pension savings wiped out - I work in entertainment business , it wasn’t a few months, it was more like 18 months by the time things got back to being rebooked etc. - as I say I think it’s fine to have been ok and count your blessings , but not a great idea to maybe keep bringing it up - just incorporate the things you liked into your life.

Being reliant on tech- was that not happening before lockdown?

My husband worked in the high dependency and intensive care units during lockdown. I’ll tell him that the time he dealt with 6 Covid deaths in a day he wasn’t overwhelmed because a random person from Mumsnet saw some staff posting a 2 minute tiktok video.

Oh and as an add on - my son ended up with 2 years worth of university debt for next to nothing going on - as prior to this there was 8 weeks of uni lecturers on strike . The whole shit show affected his mental health as he was also working 20 hours a week in one room at his shared house and he threw in the towel at Uni , felt he was paying for bugger all, little work and def no social aspect.Absolutely disgusting for those with lots of debt now and very little actual ‘service’

@Leapintothelightning I think it says a lot about our media and how tge public jump on any old crap if it’s suits their agenda

Covid devastated our family in that DH contracted it early in 2020, developed long covid, which was unfortunately massively exacerbated by the vaccine in a series of hellish cycle of pain and dozens of symptoms ever since. He lost his job as a result three years ago and its only in the last few months he feels like the symptoms are manageable enough to try to return to work. With 60% of our income gone, it's been incredibly stressful for me carrying it financially, emotionally and practically, terrified that DH would get worse and leave me widowed.
DS was isolated from friends and struggled quite a bit. It was very lonely for him. He was 8 so luckily he was old enough to understand why but it still was tough.

And yet... in the beginning of lockdown, for us it was lovely. My long commute vanished, we live rurally so felt safe from the virus, our local shops had no queueing. We planted trees and vegetables and camped outdoors in our back yard. Life for us was like you describe. Colleagues with teens or toddlers, or who were house sharing had a more difficult experience. Some more social folk in our family struggled with the isolation. A few we knew nearly died but we luckily didn't lose anyone we love to covid.

We've come out the other side with a fresh perspective though. No more running ragged for employers who would sack you in a heartbeat. More work life balance. I work from home half the week now and it's ideal. A focus on cutting out ultra processed food and growing our own. No more blindly believing our politicians, or, health "experts" and going along with draconian rules they impose. When we were struggling financially we got nothing. Absolutely nothing from a system we paid into for decades and yet our government here in Ireland continue to spend billions on immigrants flooding in when we cant house those who already live here. I went into lockdown a socialist and am now veering towards being right wing, thanks to life since lockdown.

Perhaps a goady post,it was well documented hospitals and staff were stretched to the limit.
Working with a bin liner as protection against an unknown virus...oh that must have been such a laugh.

Not at the speed the pandemic facilitated. And with everyone focused on Covid and "da rulez" so much else just went under the wire.

Well this random person ended up being diagnosed with advanced cancer when the lockdowns finally ended and there are many more like me too. If the hospital staff were doing their jobs instead of prancing around like idiots there wouldn’t be so many people in my situation. By the way it doesn’t take two minutes to choreograph a dance video.

I'm sure AI would have happened regardless of covid coming along

No doubt, but if it hadn't happened perhaps we would have been able to analyse the impact more as it was being introduced, without being consumed by whether we or our lived ones were going to die, ir whether we were going to be fined for breaching often arbitrary rules. Not knowing what is "real" and what is not via technology is dangerous, and during the pandemic that was a real problem that early AI contributed to, as mostly AI was not "credited" with its output.

They're probably the half who got paid to sit at home making bread. Not the other half who lost their jobs, businesses, buried family members, had hospital treatments cancelled, etc.

Can you give an example of a problem AI contributed to during the pandemic?

I don't. My mum died on 31st March 2020. I spent the 1st 3 weeks of that lockdown organizing her (pitiful) funeral, stressing about my dad who was isolating (mum had covid), on his own whilst coming to terms with losing the woman he had loved for almost 60 years, having numerous facetime calls with DD (who lives over 100 miles away), and not being able to hold her as her heart broke over the loss of her beloved nanna who she hadn't seen since the previous November, worrying about what would happen to my job as we'd all been furloughed (I was made redundant btw), stressing about my sibling who was close to breakdown as she lived abroad and so could not even come to mum's funeral so had to watch it over facetime (no zoom funerals back then), my other sibling was working as the company she worked for were tasked with making body bags which also affected her MH.

I'm told that the weather was lovely and the pace of life was much slower but tbh I don't recall any of that. The whole of 2020 is just a hazy blur. I'm glad a lot of people enjoyed it and can understand those same people missing the peace of it, I just wish I was one of them.

I agree. OH had his chemotherapy cancelled for nearly six months. No contact nor communication at all from the oncology dept. He had to keep ringing and pestering them to get a date for it to start again. Utterly appalling! It's one thing delaying non life threatening treatments, but delaying urgent chemotherapy is unacceptable.

I voted YANBU. The OP is entitled to feel that way.

From somebody who got paid to sit at home making bread, buried a loved one and lost their job.

HTH

YABVVVU

I have ptsd from being redeployed to ITU both times.

@taxguru that aspect to me was ludicrous but wasn’t the decision of hospital staff - it was gvt directed.