Pension - I have none and I’m a little unsettled by DHs response!

[EllyRoff]

So last night I got to thinking about pensions and realised I don’t have one! I’m no longer working (I make a small amount of money through art which DH has always been supportive with). I did have an NHS pension when I was working but DH convinced me to come out of it due to the high payments. There was barely anything in it anyway so I received the contributions back. Since then I’ve made very little contribution in national insurance etc.

DH has always said I’ll be fine in retirement as we have his good pension - but last night I thought “what if he died? Does the pension automatically come to me?” Turns out that no - it doesn’t. It goes to a named beneficiary.

So this morning I asked DH if I was named on his pension - he said “don’t worry, you’d get a state pension” !!! I said “what, £60 a week? I have none pension! Am I named on yours?” He said “why don’t you start a little savings account?”

So I’m not named on yours then?? He said “of course you are, I mean - I’ll check but I’m sure you are”. I’m very unnerved by his response - firstly his lack of concern!! Secondly his reluctance to confirm that I’m named on it. He says he’ll check today.

AIBU here? You’d think he’d want me to be ok in his death surely? Especially since it was him that convinced me to give up my own pension. He is 10 years older than me so not massively unreasonable to consider he might die before me.

Agreed, you'd think we still lived in 1950 not 2025.....

Oh dear. How old are you? Might be too late to do much about it depending on your age...in which case you'll have to try and get a job and keep working through old age. I know someone in their Late 70s still working full time as she has no pension.

Easy to say but not everyone's life works out that way.

Coming out of the NHS schemes was very ill-advised but it's done now. It's possible to build up a decent pension though even on a pt low wage. I also have a small wage coming in from my arts-related company (under the income tax threshold). I pay all of it into a pension, plus £4k into a LISA (the bonus works out to be a similar value to the tax relief on a pension), and another £16k into a S&S ISA. DH and I pool our finances so thr money just comes from our joint account. Added up, it's a decent amount going into retirement savings although it's not all in a pension wrapper, but that allows for more flexibility and better tax advantages. I've learned about investing which had meant I've had an excellent return in the past ten years, and I have more in my pot than other people who have a higher wage but put the bare minimum in and have stayed invested in the default fund.

You can receive NI contributions even if you don’t claim your child benefit; as long as you are eligible to claim, you will receive the credits. I never claimed my child benefit, but still receive the NI contribution.

OP, lots of questions to answer in order to tailor advice. Do you have children (thus eligible for the NI). How old are you? If a way before 60, nothing to stop you opening a SIPP. Even if you pay in the minimum (around 2.8k), it will get topped up by the government to 3.6k.

As somebody has already said, this kind of thing is often said in jest.

I have heard my husband say the same thing. The reality is that he has a very good defined benefit pension and substantial savings.

I am also the named beneficiary on his pension. Incidentally, the benefits are usually reduced if there is a large age gap.

I’ve just read that you’re downsizing. Have you both discussed what to do with what’s remaining of the proceeds from the sale of your current home? Some of that money should be for you but my hunch is that he’s planning on dumping it all into a savings account only he can access, so don’t let this happen.

It doesn't sound like the best position OP - you do need to check what your situation is. Is there a reason why you wouldn't be the named beneficiary on your DH's pension?

As pp say, it's important to know your age before giving a lot of advice.

@EllyRoff any thoughts on some of the advice? Are you able to take any of it on board at all?

Age is an issue - if you are in your 30s then you have time to get something in place. If you are late 50s a different situation and different strategies required.

Please do update us. If nothing else this is a cautionary tale to everyone that whilst it might seem a dull subject it is vital to discuss it.

I have a friend in a similar position to you. She has autism. She lives in abroad. She currently is on benefits. She had paid the equivalent of ni stamps for a number of years.

She started to read up on the state pension and realised she would be in trouble later on. She has started to pay towards the equivalent of ni stamps. Each year she gets a bill for this and its costing her the equivalent of £400-£500 stg a year.
She is doing some voluntary work at the moment.
She is planning to get back into paid part time employment to improve her financial position. She will get the equivalent of ni stamps and will be in a position to make a payment into a private pension each month and she will be able to save more as well. This will give her more cash at a later date.

I know she will be left money after her parents die but she said to me I can't just depend on that especially if they need elderly care in a nursing home.

I think that you now need to get advice re your NI stamps and see what you have in regards to these. See if you can buy back these. I look at getting back into paid employment even part time and paying into a private pension as well.

You need to look into your husband pension and see if your entitled to any money from this if he dies. If your downsizing your home you need to take cash from this and speak to an independent financial advisor about a pension ect for you.
I know that this may cost a bit but it money well spent.

I think years ago woman got married and they expected that there husband would look after them financially. In reality it up to a woman to make plans for if they leave work what will happen to them financially then and what happens when they reach pension age.

@Soal

Fuck off. Disabled ones, ill ones, ones who have to relocate for their partner's jobs, carers...

Some people aren't able to work, of course, but you don't just take it as read that your partner will handle everything in your best interests and hand over responsibility for everything.

Also while I accept that its a different matter for people who are disabled or ill why should someone who has located for their partner's job opt out of the workforce indefinitely?

Fancy relying on a man for your financial security. You should always make provision for yourself , if anything because relationships fail .

The NHS pension is one of the best there is. I would be very worried about him advising you to come out of that.

It's about making informed decisions and unfortunately Op hasn't done that so far. Hopefully she will find out all the info that she needs now.

With respect, a lack of focus on financials does not necessarily sound like it is autism related, although I get that the anxiety may be. I am also autistic.

No woman ever should assume her husband has all the financial planning sorted. Never.

Make sure you are named as the beneficiary and make sure he doesn't change it (he can change the beneficiary back again whenever he chooses without telling you).

The only happy way is to die as soon as possible, and no more concerns about pension.

Check your own records
It will show you each year & if you paid the full amount or part amount
You need this as it goes towards your state pension & other benefits

https://www.gov.uk/check-national-insurance-record

Of course it is and very much ADHD related too ( the two are often intertwined).

Suggest that you check this too

State retirement age is currently 66 but going up to 68, 68 depending on your current age

https://www.gov.uk/check-state-pension

Hi Op, I just want to say, please don't be put off by the you should have done this, that and the other brigade, I'm sure you've already told yourself that. There is some very helpful advice on here if you can keep ploughing through. 💐

@Fr1tter5

Of course it is and very much ADHD related too ( the two are often intertwined).

It may well be autism/ADHD related but its not a free pass to just wash your hands of it and hope your husband comes through.

I'm rubbish with financial planning and find it both stressful and boring which is a lethal combination. I can think of few things which stress me out more than thinking about money. Which is why I hire a financial adviser when I need to. I'm not married but there's no way on earth I would just cross my fingers and hope my husband had it all covered.

If you are not working
Each person can pay up to a maximum of £2880 into a SIPP per year
You will receive the 20% tax rebate on top free.

The other way, if OP's dh does not immediately put her as a beneficiary on his pension or add a widow's pension, is to divorce him. This will divide his assets up front (without waiting for him to die) and will deprive him of OP to care for him.

As he is 10 years' older, he is likely to need care from OP at some point rather than the other way round.

OP should clarify how old she is.