Pension - I have none and I’m a little unsettled by DHs response!

[EllyRoff]

So last night I got to thinking about pensions and realised I don’t have one! I’m no longer working (I make a small amount of money through art which DH has always been supportive with). I did have an NHS pension when I was working but DH convinced me to come out of it due to the high payments. There was barely anything in it anyway so I received the contributions back. Since then I’ve made very little contribution in national insurance etc.

DH has always said I’ll be fine in retirement as we have his good pension - but last night I thought “what if he died? Does the pension automatically come to me?” Turns out that no - it doesn’t. It goes to a named beneficiary.

So this morning I asked DH if I was named on his pension - he said “don’t worry, you’d get a state pension” !!! I said “what, £60 a week? I have none pension! Am I named on yours?” He said “why don’t you start a little savings account?”

So I’m not named on yours then?? He said “of course you are, I mean - I’ll check but I’m sure you are”. I’m very unnerved by his response - firstly his lack of concern!! Secondly his reluctance to confirm that I’m named on it. He says he’ll check today.

AIBU here? You’d think he’d want me to be ok in his death surely? Especially since it was him that convinced me to give up my own pension. He is 10 years older than me so not massively unreasonable to consider he might die before me.

Thank you for the reminder to check my state pension. It’s very easy to do. I’ve been working full time since I was 22 and part time since I was 16 so have full contributions as well as occupational pensions

like other posters my mum was never employed but she received child benefit (vast amounts for to many children) and my dad, who was a high earner and very frugal, paid for an annuity, and a private pension, and she got 50% of his pension when he died

due to the cost of living and the need to have higher income now lots of people are opting out of occupational pensions and putting their heads in the sand

please see a good IFA/IPA and get plans in place

Given the age gap of 10 years and the different life expectancy of women, it's vital that HE appreciates your situation. His approach is very cavalier.

You could live another 15 or 20+ years after he dies and you don't want to do that in poverty.

As I said earlier, you can put money into a private pension as of now, but if you are not working, there is an annual limit of under £3k. If you do work, you can invest a proportion of your income so you can in theory exceed the £3K.

Whatever capital is left after you downsize, you need to plan what to do with it- ISAs, Premium Bonds, stocks and shares investments, etc.

Inflation will eat away at it every year so if you're 60 ish now it will be worth nothing in 25 years unless you're at least matching inflation - get professional advice.

Never rely on anyone else financially. Is there some kind of work you can do, perhaps on a self-employed basis which may reduce your anxieties? Then you can pay into a SIPP.

If you’re deeply unhappy in your marriage then bin him off and go after half of his pension in the divorce settlement
negotiations.

You should never rely on anyone else financially.

100% agree with this. OP, you don't have to go back to office work if you don't have to, but you should pay your NI contributions. Just start freelancing, there are many opportunieties out there - anything digital, or just start baking cakes out of home, or sell stuff online, do some online teaching, just whatever you can think of to pay your NI contributions. It's actually quite unfortunate that you are downsizing right now, cause I fear your DH will grab the money and you will never see them.

Yes, in my opinion, and the law's, a marriage is a joint financial venture. That is the entire legal point of a marriage.

There is nothing here that indicates that OP has been having children so that she can get a HA property. She was working and contributing, but her autism has made it difficult for her to continue doing that. That shouldn't mean that she should now live on the streets. The wellfare system is in place for people like her. People who are struggling.

I do think she has been too trusting and naive when it comes to her H, but I also think he has knowingly made her as vulnerable as possible.

Most Pension providers don’t just let people put anyone as named beneficiaries and don’t always stick to it if the named beneficiary isn’t wife or child or not named in the will. You still need a will.

Oh OP. You won't be entitled to a full State Pension unless you've paid the full quota of NI contributions.
Who is the named beneficiary if not you?

Just keep nagging DH to make sure you are the named beneficiary. I was a bit dilatory at ensuring my DH was named, even though I was great at actually doing the pension thing and had no intention of leaving it to anyone else. I suspect it would have gone to him automatically and will come to you automatically if he dies first, but it's still worth doing the paperwork!

OP, where has the £60 per week come from? State pension is based on NI contributions. How have you “ suddenly” realised you don’t have a pension? How old are you? You need to be making some contributions pronto. Book an appointment with CAB or an IFA. Do you receive PIP for your anxiety/autism?

Get a Government gateway account, you can check how many years NI contributions you have.

As an aside you are only credited with NI contributions when children are under 12. I think that max years you can have credited is 12.

Divorcing is may not be in op interests. Unless they have a substantial property and she could buy outright then due to her anxiety plus no idea of her age she may have no chance of making enough by herself to fund a retirement. As much as this is anti feminist she has not given enough information. Advice will change depending if she is 40 or 60.

To make a pot with anything worth having in it takes years. For a drawdown of 20k PA you need a pot of approx 500k.

People also need to stop making assumptions about welfare benefits, though there has been a U turn of WFA they took it away just like child benefit once universal now isn’t. Some people have zero choice but to rely on the welfare state but it’s best to have the mindset that they are not going to look after you.

The most generous benefits are for people with children, I’m sure some may say it’s not enough but this is not the debate for this poster, for single unemployed people they are the worst.

How old are you, OP? There may still be time to start saving. Get yourself the Bee pension app and start putting cash into it. As others have said, a work-from-home admin job will pay you some money that you can start saving. It does sound like a bad idea to be reliant on your husband, from what you've said. The advice about not paying into the NHS pension was awful and it's worrying that the beneficiary of his pension might not be you. Does he have children from a previous marriage that it might be going to?

I think some people are being a bit harsh on you though tbh. I know quite a few low-paid self-employed people who have no private pensions and probably haven't paid enough in NI contributions either. It's not just a 'you' thing. That doesn't make it less of a worry though!

How old are you? I see you have young nephews so I'm assuming your could be in your late 30s or early 40s.

Loads of time to sort this out.

I'd focus on getting more work as you are very reliant on your H for everything.
if you want to sell your art, focus on that- exhibit it at craft fairs, sell it online etc- or get a more reliable source of income so you aren't dependent on him.

If he was made redundant for example, he might lose his earning power and his pension would stall.

You need to take control- autism isn't a reason to opt out of earning or sorting out finances.

To receive any UK State Pension, you need at least 10 qualifying years of National Insurance (NI) contributions. These don’t have to be consecutive, and they can include years when you received NI credits—for example, if you were a carer, unemployed, or claiming certain benefits.
The full new State Pension is currently £230.25 per week (2024/25 rate), but to get that full amount, you’d need 35 qualifying years. If you’ve paid in for fewer than 35 years but more than 10, you’ll receive a proportion of the full amount. For example, 15 qualifying years would give you roughly 15/35ths of the full pension—about £98.68 per week.

When you made the decision to give up employment and become a full time “artist” you really should have done the maths to see if it was a financially viable decision without just expecting everyone else to pay into a state pension for you while you opt out of the system.

@Rolo87southbut OP might not be on PIP

If house is joint owned put anything not needed for the new property into pension or investment for you solely so you have something for retirement

While DH's response is a little mystifying, if his pension is a corporate money-purchase scheme, or corporate (you wish) or public sector final salary scheme (rather than a personal pension), the scheme trustees have discretion to overrule his nomination of beneficiary if it isn't you. This is a condition of the tax exemption granted to pension schemes. If the scheme member is married, the nominated beneficiary isn't the spouse and the spouse isn't happy with the alternative, it's unlikely that the trustees would allow it (a major financial headache for final salary schemes has been the retiree who cashiers the long-suffering spouse for a younger model, creating a much longer-term, more expensive survivor's pension liability). If it's a personal pension, then DH's will determines where it goes on his death, and if he hasn't made a will you inherit by default.

I think if your married.. then you automatically will receive the pension if he dies...but yes agree with others.. get a job ..pay NI...check online where you are with it at the moment ..

Well actually if he does she'll get 50% of everything so would be in a better position than she is now potentially.

@EllyRoff can I ask a few questions?

Appreciating you have anxiety so felt full time work was too much - when you decided to go ‘freelance’ did you have a business plan and engage a financial advisor?

I mean no offence here - before I am jumped on - most people I know with real diagnosed serious anxiety are actually really organised and neat in their life - mainly to quell their severe anxiety. Outside of medication do you have any strategies to manage your anxiety?

Others have alluded to it but lack of financial planning for me would be anxiety inducing.

Are you organised in other parts of life? Meal planning/cleaning/tidy spaces etc?

What happened to the money withdrawn from your NHS pension?

If it went to general household expenses, can you use the same amount from household funds to start a private pension?

Your age is relevant here.

You can’t trust your husband.

I would seek financial advice regarding next steps.

Exactly this. You need to have contributed to be entitled to a state pension. You can check your contributions on the gov website

Question,

Why does it matter? anyone on low income has their income supplemented anyway? we know pensioners are protected so, does it matter, really?

Won't OP just receive pension credit to make it up?

There will always be a safety set for pensioners, but who knows what form pension credit will exist in, if at all, by the time OP is of a pensionable age?

Well a lot of us women born in the 50s thought we had entered a contract to pay our contributions in order to receive a state pension at 60 and planned accordingly. In the event the rules were changed. So no guarantees of anything really. Get your husband to share some of his resources now.