Pension - I have none and I’m a little unsettled by DHs response!

[EllyRoff]

So last night I got to thinking about pensions and realised I don’t have one! I’m no longer working (I make a small amount of money through art which DH has always been supportive with). I did have an NHS pension when I was working but DH convinced me to come out of it due to the high payments. There was barely anything in it anyway so I received the contributions back. Since then I’ve made very little contribution in national insurance etc.

DH has always said I’ll be fine in retirement as we have his good pension - but last night I thought “what if he died? Does the pension automatically come to me?” Turns out that no - it doesn’t. It goes to a named beneficiary.

So this morning I asked DH if I was named on his pension - he said “don’t worry, you’d get a state pension” !!! I said “what, £60 a week? I have none pension! Am I named on yours?” He said “why don’t you start a little savings account?”

So I’m not named on yours then?? He said “of course you are, I mean - I’ll check but I’m sure you are”. I’m very unnerved by his response - firstly his lack of concern!! Secondly his reluctance to confirm that I’m named on it. He says he’ll check today.

AIBU here? You’d think he’d want me to be ok in his death surely? Especially since it was him that convinced me to give up my own pension. He is 10 years older than me so not massively unreasonable to consider he might die before me.

You mean the state pension of just over £12K at most?
It's hardly living in luxury on that.

Council tax can take off £3K a year, and utilities another £2Kpa.

Are you sure you know the figures?

Why can't your sister do some sort of work?

So I am obsessed with my pension. I check them all reguarly as i have several from different jobs and do all the calculators to check my savings are on track.
You need to calculate what you think you will need to live on in retirement and then see if your savings and husbands pension match that.
If not then you need to start saving.
I would suggest you get a handle on both your finances asap so you can work this out.

I have no sympathy for anyone who gets themselves into positions such as these. Total lack of responsibility for your own financial security, relying on a spouse or the state to sort you out. Don’t even contribute any tax or NI into the system. You need to get a job and sort out your financial security for the future. Can’t get any type of paid work due to anxiety yet there are so many work from home admin roles that pay 25K a year and have pensions. Time to pull up your big girl pants and take some responsibility. But you won’t as your post shows that you clearly think it’s someone else’s problem.

You’ve been really really silly OP. Why would you put yourself in this kind of situation?

Have you got children whom you stayed at home to look after? If you were/are in receipt (it has to be in your name), Child Benefit can protect NI with respect to the state pension. How old are you, OP? I speak from experience when I say don’t rely on your dh’s pension. Mine had an affair and we divorced. I got nothing from his pension (though did get the house). I would get a job if I were you and start overpaying into your own pension.

It would help hugely to know your age OP. Advice would be different if you are 40/60 etc

Gosh - this thread has just reminded me that I have an old pension from my first employer, and I never told them I got married. I need to sort that out ! Poor DH. I'll go and fess up, and hope he forgives me 😉

I think you need to speak with an IPA. Find out where your partner is with his pension and go alone. Your partner does not sound financially savvy in the slightest. I think you've given up work and started to head towards pension age blinkered in all honesty.

I'm late 30s and was quite late to start my pension (started when we had to opt in or out). I've had some time out to have kids and with everything else going on Covid/cancer diagnosis thinking about adding to my pension wasn't the focus. As a result when I looked at it recently it's not great. My DH has always told me not to worry because his is doing really well at the moment. However absolutely you do need to finance yourself. Yes his would be great to live off but you know divorce/death can easily happen. So I've upped my contributions (my employer only gives the basic), created mirror wills, both have death in service and I have life insurance. I'm hopefully having my work hours increased soon so I'll be able to increase my payments even further.

I think you should look to understand carefully what the arrangements will be in retirement. It is not unusual for a beneficiary to be out of date on a pension and if it is an ex-wife, then there can be real problems, particularly where the second partner is not married. You also need to understand the type of pension. If it is final salary that is great, but make sure you understand the widow’s option- this is usually a % of the whole. If DH’s pension is on a contribution basis, then you need to understand what the pool is and what DH plans to do with it. Also check your state entitlement. If you have been at home for a number of years then it may not be full. You can however top this up.

I know someone whose husband died just before he started to claim his state pension. His wife has tried to find out if she could claim it but it looks like the pension has gone upon his death. Everyone needs to be financially savvy for themselves whether married or not. Circumstances change and we need to protect ourselves.

You can’t rely on him as he’s already given you really bad advice to come out of the NHS pension.
you need to take responsibility for yourself , get a job and start pension contributions asap

Getting your fair share in a divorce is not really sponging in my opinion. OP has worked and contributed but her autism seems to now get in the way of her doing that. Her H is reluctant to reassure her that she will be fine financially should he go first so either way she will probably need to rely on benefits of some sort as she isn't making enough from her art business to live on. The only difference is, if she divorces, she will have some autonomy and she will know what her pension will look like as it will be divided between her and her H.

Does he have children from a previous marriage? Most people would name their partner as beneficiary I’m sure but if he has children he may have done that.

Also, sometimes changes get ignored. DH had his mum as beneficiary until we got together and he kept changing it to me - by email, on the portal, in writing etc - and we would get a letter acknowledging the change but then when his annual statement arrived it would still say his mum! Took literally years to get sorted with various complaints etc.

My dad got remarried in his 50s and realised his wife hadn’t paid full NI contributions and wouldn’t get a full state pension. He was worried about her being vulnerable and was able to pay the full missing amount in a lump sum. Now he knows that whatever else happens she’ll get the pension. Definitely look into this when you downsize and have some funds.

Dear @EllyRoff
You can do some active things now to improve your situation.

Your husband needs to name you asap as a matter of urgency as a beneficiary on his pension. You don’t say what type it is, but mine is private and I have filled out forms to name my DD as beneficiary if I die.
If he’s busy or prevaricating - then ask him who his contact is and phone them or email the person and set up a meeting/ video call/ phone call for your husband when he’s home and ensure it’s done. This is not a joke and is of prime importance for you. 8f he prevaricates - push and push and ensure you see the forms filled in.
Once that is done - then you can rest a little easier. If you’re married and you split you will then get half - if he dies you will get a payment from it.
If it is not a private pension or a pension through a private company I am not so sure, Oerhaps there will be other advice on here for these types of pensions either way you need to aim to ensure you are a named beneficiary.

In terms of savings - yes you can contribute to an ISA a tax free savings account. Perhaps use all your funds/ allowance you currently receive and pay into that? As much as you can and use his money for all joint spending in the house.

If your husband is freelance or self employed he could pay you a salary to help him with his admin and you would get some NI contributions that and then you could also pay into a pension from this.
again call your bank - ask for some pension advice - don’t delay- don’t regret or berate yourself just take action today.

Good luck x

If you're over 50, you can go to a Pensionwise appointment.

It's more appropriate than CAB and probably where you'd get directed anyway as it's the Government-funded advice service for pensions.

Your opinion says a lot for your mindset then, in my opinion.

Getting fair share of his pension, when she doesn't have her own or work, would be 0 IMO.

Really frustrates me when people use marriage to freeload off someone else, has kids to get a council house etc.

The Jeremy Kyleification of the UK

I love my partner and we are very happy but i’d never rely on him or his word to pay for my retirement.I have my own NHS pension ( 20 years service so far) and once the mortgage is done i intend to save save save.

Pre the introduction of defined contribution schemes in the 80s ( sold as freedom and flexibility for the employees but actually moving the increasingly large forward liability off the balance sheets of the employer ) virtually all standard employer based pension schemes were defined benefit in the private sector. There were insurance based schemes available to smaller private employers.

There was usually a ‘vesting’ period of between 2 and 5 years after joining the scheme ( and often a waiting period before joining) - if you left before the vesting period, you could receive a return of your contributions and the employer contributions were used to buy you back into the State Additional Pension scheme.

The Pensions Acts of 1993 and 2008 changed the pensions landscape entirely. I think a lot of people now would be surprised by how relatively rare pensions were outside of the public or large employer sector and how little attention people ( especially women) paid to the pension as part of an employment offer.

You can look up your state pension entitlement on the gov.uk websites (not having worked since I was 36 I was surprised to discover I am entitled to full amount, so you may be too); make sure DH has you named as the beneficiary. He can sort that with an email today; and, assuming you both own your home and that it’s jointly owned in a ‘joint tenancy’ (ie you BOTH own 100% of the property, as opposed to a tenancy in common where you each own 50%), then when he dies you will own the entire property without inheritance tax obligations, can downsize, and release funds that way too.

So, I’d try not to panic - but you need to check the pension and title deeds to see how you stand.

OP I echo the other posters - you can’t leave this to him to sort. I think you might want to think about getting a job just so you are paying NI and can start saving for a pension.

You've been very shortsighted. If you've not been paying your contributions you won't get a full pension. Take responsibility for yourself.

You need to get some financial advice asap:

Check here to see how much state pension you will get personally: https://www.gov.uk/check-state-pension

You have worked in the past, so will have some national insurance contributions - you can top these up to get your pension, or at least increase the amount. You can also defer your state pension to give you more time to top it up.

You may be entitled to some of your husbands state pension if he dies before you, but it is very complex and depends on a number of different factors like when you both reach(ed) retirement age.

Double check how your husbands private pension works as well - there may be a lump sum that goes to a named beneficiary, but it is possible you will still be entitled to a portion of the monthly pension payments.

Have you been claiming any benefits while not working - some benefits entitle you to claim national insurance credits.

When you have all of that information speak to an independent financial advisor who specialises in pensions to see what you can do in the time you have before retirement to maximise pension or income e.g:

Can you start paying into a private pension now - either through working, or just through household income?

Is it worth putting a lump sum from your downsizing into a pension or savings account?

Does your husband have adequate life insurance?

Are you transferring your personal tax allowance to your husband if you are earning below the threshold? Can you use whatever that is saving him in tax to put into a pension?

There is still time to sort things out (depending on how o

Why are you letting this idiot selfish man take charge of your finances ?

Either get equal control and make sure there is enough money for all eventualities or get a job, or both

and consider LTB if he doesn’t shape up - you’ll probably be entitled to a chunk of his pension that way

I Don't Think It's £60.my widowed mum never worked and she gets about£265 a week

If you are not paying voluntary NI you might not get state pension. And god forbid your dh dies young, you would get a pension payout but not as much and you might need that to live off.

I work part time and was paying about £20 per month for my pension. I saw Dh wage slip and realised he was paying in £350 per month roughly my earnings!! I increased my payments immediately and now pay £200 per month.

You need to sort this you are currently very vulnerable, if your dh is happy for you to be at home supporting his career he needs to support your future. You need a pension and to pay your stamp. Your dh is securing his future you need to protect yours. If you split you have no retirement plan