Pension - I have none and I’m a little unsettled by DHs response!

[EllyRoff]

So last night I got to thinking about pensions and realised I don’t have one! I’m no longer working (I make a small amount of money through art which DH has always been supportive with). I did have an NHS pension when I was working but DH convinced me to come out of it due to the high payments. There was barely anything in it anyway so I received the contributions back. Since then I’ve made very little contribution in national insurance etc.

DH has always said I’ll be fine in retirement as we have his good pension - but last night I thought “what if he died? Does the pension automatically come to me?” Turns out that no - it doesn’t. It goes to a named beneficiary.

So this morning I asked DH if I was named on his pension - he said “don’t worry, you’d get a state pension” !!! I said “what, £60 a week? I have none pension! Am I named on yours?” He said “why don’t you start a little savings account?”

So I’m not named on yours then?? He said “of course you are, I mean - I’ll check but I’m sure you are”. I’m very unnerved by his response - firstly his lack of concern!! Secondly his reluctance to confirm that I’m named on it. He says he’ll check today.

AIBU here? You’d think he’d want me to be ok in his death surely? Especially since it was him that convinced me to give up my own pension. He is 10 years older than me so not massively unreasonable to consider he might die before me.

He probably just need to check…

but he is right, not too late to start.

The post I was referencing was a general comment about women not working and was not related to the OP.

You're married. That makes you the automatic beneficiary. 'Named beneficiary' is for unmarried couples.

A NHS pension would have been very nice if you had continued working. But if you only did a few years, it's not that much.

Sounds like as if you're pretty OK so long as you stay married! Of course, you might wish to plan for other eventualities...

I also have ASD and the associated anxiety. I understand everyone is different, but unless you are quite close to retirement age already, I strongly urge you to address this.

You need to find the right combination of medications that will help you with your anxiety. Then you need to learn some techniques for accepting your anxiety and working through the waves. It will never go away, but you can learn to manage it.

The Biggest thing though that people seem to miss is that every job is different. There is employment out there somewhere that will not be as difficult for you. You just have to figure out the right match.

Gosh I’d be seriously worried if I was you.
How old are you as you need to start sorting this soon.
Dint rely on husbands pension if he passed away you wouldn’t get the full amount.

One of my neighbours was an NHS nurse for over 30 years and, for some reason, didn't contribute to their pension scheme. A friend of mine works for the local Council and pulled out of the pension scheme when she decided to buy her Council house. The civil service pension is probably the best pension you can get, so I always think it's very unwise not to pay into it.

Sorry to hear that. He sounds like a knob.

You need 35 years of national insurance contributions. You can buy extra years, do this before it's too late.

You (normally) don’t have to be a named beneficiary of your partners pension to inherit it when he dies. If you weren’t, you could contact the trustees and make a claim as his widow.

Having said that, his advice to take your money out the NHS pension (a gold-plated public sector pension) is just about the worst financial advice I’ve ever seen anybody give and take. It’s almost grounds for divorce it’s so bad. He’s clearly has absolutely no idea what he’s talking about, and you shouldn’t pay any attention to anything so called financial he ever says.

As a partner you do need to be named and it also isn't going to be going to OP, who is a wife, necessarily. We don't know the circumstances, he could have named somebody else as his beneficiary. His children or some other relative for example. Being named on it now doesn't make OPs situation any less precarious though, he can change it at any time and she won't know.

I would never rely on someone else. Life changes. Used to work with someone who didn't pay into work pension scheme as husband was in the police...so she didnt need to?! Life at 35 can be v different to life at 65 :(

Correct, but OP is married.

Do you have children? If you do and you claimed child benefit youll have stamps while any kids were under 12?

How many years did you work full time? State pension isnt automatic and there's a difference between full and basic. Might be worth checking on the hmrc app

If he doesn’t name his wife, and his wife is totally reliant on him financially, she will get the money no matter what he puts down there (of course she may have to go to court to do that, but she would win).

I also just checked my pension (which would be fairly standard for large companies) you put beneficiaries under “expression of wish”, and it specifically notes the trustees are not bound to follow it.

You should try to get a job or make your art work for you as a career.
It seems almost 50% of the population now say they are ND yet we can' t have 50% of people not working and the rest supporting them. It's not sustainable.

Whatever role you had in the NHS, either medical or admin was not right for your personality but that doesn't mean there are no jobs out there.

As PPs have said, autism is a massive spectrum ranging from mild and what was called Asperger's, to much more serious issues.

The fact is you can write a coherent posts from your home on your computer, so it's likely you can work from home (mostly) in a role that suits your personality and stress level.

Maybe start moving forwards on that and the pension, savings etc will start to fall into place?

And also keep up to speed with the state pension (check your own) - it's nowhere near £60 a week so not sure where you got that from? Recent figures have been in the media - it's pretty easy to find them.

What are your joint plans for these funds? Your DH is either as financially clueless or is subjecting you to financial abuse. What happened to the money you withdrew from your NHS pension? My worry is that the equity from the house move will disappear and you won't get your share properly protected.

Not necessarily. It depends if he has a Db pension or DC pension. He may also have children from previous marriages who are beneficiaries given the age difference, but we don't know anything about that.

You don't say what sort of pension your husband has.
He may have an occupational pension eg Teachers' or other scheme organised by his employer which is based on his earnings and years of service and which includes a pension typically of 50% of his, for his surviving spouse/ 25% for minor or disabled children/dependent.

However it is possible, likely even, that he has a money purchase scheme where he and his employer ( hopefully ) pay into a scheme each month and when he retires he can opt to take out a lump sump ( usually upto 25% of the fund value) and then buy an annuity ( regular income) with the remainder for the rest of his life. He can choose an annuity which never increases or one which has , say a 3% increase each year. Obviously without an increase the annuity will be bigger at first but risks being derisory if he lives a long time.

The risk as far as you are concerned is what would happen if he died first. With Occupational schemes there is usually an automatic pension ( 50% of his) for the surviving spouse or other adult nominee. You would need to check as a matter of urgency. Do not rely on your husband's say so.

The most risky scenario for you, is that he has a money purchase scheme and the option to choose upto 25% of the fund value plus either an annuity ( income) for himself initially and/or then after his death an annuity at 100% of his, 50% of his etc. for you. Many men at this stage (most in my experience) opt for the highest annuity they can get. ie one just for themselves. A surviving spouse, ie you, receives nothing.

I sense your frustration here but OP is already upset and doesn’t need sanctimonious responses which quite frankly state the obvious in an aggressive way. There may be other factors here that we are not party to and which OP is not comfortable divulging at the moment.

I haven’t read every reply so sorry if this has been raised. Why would you leave the NHS pension scheme, I am pretty sure it’s one of the best ones you can get. I earn less than half DH but the combined contributions every month in mine is 3x what he gets.

Beneficiary it’s usually spouse unless otherwise stated by the person whose pension it is. As others have said check your NI contributions or you might not get full state pension.

Many moons ago you could withdraw much more than that. Many women withdrew 10 years plus. ' I need the money now' or 'no one in my family lives long' etc.

Fortunately you could also repay it either as a lump sum or as enhanced monthly payments as long as you were again working in the DHSS and paying into the scheme.

Other schemes eg Teachers', Civil Service, Local Government ditto.

Not if the children are adults.

A really practical and useful response. 👍