For telling my bf i don’t want to visit my cousin on our vacation?

[Millijille]

My bf got really well along with my cousin last year when we visited him on our holiday, He lives in spain where we are heading this year to because we didn’t get to do everything we wanted to last year. Problem is that i got stunged like crazy by mosquito’s in the place he lives since its more up the hills where those damn tiger mosquitos where everywhere.. my legs where hurting at least for a week by itching.. and not to say that last time my cousin also invited a friend with a pretty big untrained dog that scratched my legs, arms.. so im just not that thrilled i told my bf. I could go for like a day out a restaurant or a beach with cousin and his gf. But he implies it was soooo nice to spend a whole day at his place, because he would want to spend a whole day with them that it was the best day of the whole vacation, im an introvert and don’t like hanging around people to long.. i said yea for u but for me it wasn’t. Plus taxi or buss barely go where my cousin lives. Making it a pain to get back to the hotel. Im not close with my cousin.

I just don’t want to come out as mean or boring but it wasn’t worth the mosquito bites

It’s your cousin, and I think it’s frigging weird your bf is the one sort of reaching for him, IYSWIM?

@MauriceTheMussel like i get that he got along with my cousin but he only meet him one time😅 plus I don’t want to go over cousins home and be bitten by damn mosquitos. Also im Not traveling to spend time with cousin

Most people on here will not understand how bad tiger mosquitoes are, OP. I too have encountered them. YADNBU.

@Zanzara No because my bf barely got bitten at all.. so mf did not understand my pain by not wanting to visit my cousin🥲, by saying that if we meet them at somewhere else it be sooooooo little time! That going over is better like he trying to guilt trip me because i dont want to

I've never heard of tiger mosquitoes. Does insect repellant not work on them? So they sting? The mosquitos here just bite. They always go after me though. It has to do with your blood type, I think.

That fact you’ve offered to meet the cousin and partner else where to mitigate the insect bites but your BF is still insisting on going up to their gaff, is weird.

I wouldn’t go it your sensitive to mosquitoes bits… maybe you can visit in the morning and make pre booked taxi to bring you back before dusk!

@steff13 Im blood type O meaning mosquitos favorite bufe😭

@Guavafish1 i know it gonna go like «oooh but we just see when we are there, noo rush!» and then My bf wanting to stay til late.. since last time clock was heading 9pm and i did tell him to book while we still here singe they can take some time. So i told him that i don’t trust him with that. Since we where offered to stay over last time wich i did not want

Do they live in a mansion or have cool stuff he likes like nice cars or gadgets or whatever? So basically he's getting to live a life out of his reach for a day or two?

Its odd, meeting them somewhere is fine but just say no to the visit, it sounds like a slog.

@DestituteDesperate urg im annoyed to be honset by that, because i dont know why he wants to meet up with my cousin so bad by wanting to go to their place and visit. And i also got a bitt off when we did so many other romantic and fun activities but visiting my cousin was his favorite day last year. Like are ur fr..

One of my parents has ended up in hospital on 2 abroad holidays from reaction to mosquito bites they just do not like her at all and she now refuses to go certain places abroad and in the uk because she could end up with hospital stays it got so bad

@IReallyLoveItHere nah nothing really mansion at all, just regular house up the hills ish with an small ok pool. I think sometimes my bf gets bored of only being around me so this feels good for him to also be around someone else but feels weird since it my cousin he only meet once and he really nagging me to visit them

@Rayqueen Yikes! Not a fun vacay at all.. but sadly many people can react very bad to those bites ruining the vacation a bit or whole vacation:/ I was lucky i didn’t have to go to hospital but the itchyness and big bite lumps where no joke.. and even how much my bf liked my cousin theres no f way i want to go trough that shi again. Since we where at a hotel down the city/beach there wasn’t as many mosquitoes there.

Has your cousin invited the two of you or has your boyfriend just invited himself?

@Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast cousin dosen’t even know we going since i don’t talk to him. He reached out to me last time because i posted something. I aqtually had no plans for visiting this year or at least haven’t tought of it

Yeah, same. I'm O-, and if I'm around everyone else in the vicinity is safe. 😒

If the day you got hurt was the best day of his holiday, he is incredibly selfish and doesn’t care about your wellbeing. As your cousin’s house has a pool and maybe nice views as it is in the mountains, I can see the appeal but it’s not a tourist attraction that he can just book a trip to. It clearly isn’t your cousin that he wants to see or he would be happy with your perfectly good compromise. He is a user, it seems, as well as selfish and uncaring. Do those traits show up in other aspects of your life?

I'm A- but they love me too.

I shared a bed with a bed in Mauritius with my then bf. I was covered in bites (yes we did use a net) he stayed an extra week, same bed, same net and only then did he get bitten.

OP

Stick to you guns but also get some insect repellent with deet in it.

Your boyfriend doesn't sound very nice OP. He seems selfish.

@Lurkingandlearning

i was thinking like all the other fun things we did togheter and explore places and hanging at my cousins home was the BEST vacation day??? Really? Got me a bit baffled there. Like sure it was nice to see cousing after a long time i guess? But it dosen’t top for me after all the other things we did togheter.
the hotel we where staying at had a WAY bigger pool and this hotel we staying at this year to has a huge pool aqtually 2 big pools. Nah i haven’t seen those traits in other places.
If im honest i don’t really wanna «waste» a whole vacation day at my cousins place when theres so much to explore.. feels like he can’t just have fun with me on vacation that he sees my cousin as a buddy just after meeting him once.

It seems very odd that your boyfriend is pushing to visit your cousin's home in Spain, when he's only met him once and you're not particularly close to your cousin. You've compromised and suggested meeting in a neutral place, away from your cousin's home, so you don't get bitten by tiger mosquitoes. Yet, your boyfriend is still insisting on visiting your cousin's home!!! Bizarre. I would tell your boyfriend straight, no to going to your cousin's home, you are not prepared to be bitten again. It's selfish of him to be putting you in a position, he knows you're not comfortable with. Your well-being comes before his desire to see your cousin!! The fact he doesn't see that, or is ignoring it, is not very nice and doesn't put him in a very good light.

I don't really like your boyfriend! I don't think he sounds very nice at all.

Not to derail, but I never get bitten by mosquitoes, and I'm B negative - do they really have preferred types?
Back to the subject in hand, would it be possible for your bf to go there and for you to have a spa day or a shopping trip OP? Also... Does your cousin get a say in this?