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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For telling my bf i don’t want to visit my cousin on our vacation?

39 replies

Millijille · 19/06/2025 20:14

My bf got really well along with my cousin last year when we visited him on our holiday, He lives in spain where we are heading this year to because we didn’t get to do everything we wanted to last year. Problem is that i got stunged like crazy by mosquito’s in the place he lives since its more up the hills where those damn tiger mosquitos where everywhere.. my legs where hurting at least for a week by itching.. and not to say that last time my cousin also invited a friend with a pretty big untrained dog that scratched my legs, arms.. so im just not that thrilled i told my bf. I could go for like a day out a restaurant or a beach with cousin and his gf. But he implies it was soooo nice to spend a whole day at his place, because he would want to spend a whole day with them that it was the best day of the whole vacation, im an introvert and don’t like hanging around people to long.. i said yea for u but for me it wasn’t. Plus taxi or buss barely go where my cousin lives. Making it a pain to get back to the hotel. Im not close with my cousin.

OP posts:
MauriceTheMussel · 20/06/2025 09:40

They can smell something on certain people. If you drink tonic water (which has quinine), they will generally avoid you

Zanzara · 20/06/2025 09:52

Guavafish1 · 20/06/2025 02:05

I wouldn’t go it your sensitive to mosquitoes bits… maybe you can visit in the morning and make pre booked taxi to bring you back before dusk!

Edited

Sadly, that won't help you with the tiger mosquitoes, as if they weren't already bad enough, they operate 24/7. 😱🦟

We encountered them in 2018 on the Costa Blanca, a particularly bumper year for them. Their bites are vicious, and many people had to go to hospital with them that summer. My husband had to keep going outside one night to check on an ambulance that was coming for me, and he got bitten over a hundred times. They can carry quite a few nasty diseases.

We were considering buying a villa in the Costa Benissa that summer, but after our experiences we abondoned that idea.

Here are the little stripey-socked varmints:

https://www.theolivepress.es/spain-news/tag/tiger-mosquito/

https://euroweeklynews.com/2025/06/03/28-million-tiger-mosquitos-deliberately-released-in-elche/

Miguel Barrachina releasing thousands of Tiger mosquitos.

28 million Tiger Mosquitos released in Elche

The Valencian regional government has achieved an 80 per cent reduction in the tiger mosquito population using an innovative sterile male release technique

https://euroweeklynews.com/2025/06/03/28-million-tiger-mosquitos-deliberately-released-in-elche/

DestituteDesperate · 20/06/2025 10:16

This might sound outrageous but does your cousin or boyfriend partake in anything illegal?

sorry to clarify - why is he so insistent on going there, can he gain access to something whilst there that would be harder to do in a public setting?

sueelleker · 20/06/2025 10:44

MauriceTheMussel · 19/06/2025 22:18

It’s your cousin, and I think it’s frigging weird your bf is the one sort of reaching for him, IYSWIM?

Is it that your BF thinks it's a cheap holiday?

BoredZelda · 20/06/2025 10:53

Let him go visit, you have a quiet day where your hotel is.

Millijille · 20/06/2025 15:13

@DestituteDesperate nope they don’t. Just beers and chillings at pool. I think the only accsess is me not being able to go shopping haha but i told him i can go by myself while he can go chill. But that was a no «because what if someting happends?» ugh. I honestly rather have some drinks by the pool hotel where there aren’t as many mosquitos and epsecially tiger mosquitos.

OP posts:
fount · 20/06/2025 18:11

I'd refuse outright. Make it clear this is non-negotiable. It's your family, not his, and your bf is being a jerk to insist. If he wants to go alone for the day, assuming your cousin doesn't mind, that's his choice, but I wouldn't go if I didn't want to.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 20/06/2025 22:30

Did he develop a crush on your cousin or something?

But seriously, it's out of order for him to invite himself to your cousin's place. What if your cousin doesn't want you guys there?

ninjahamster · 20/06/2025 22:36

Beeinalily · 20/06/2025 09:39

Not to derail, but I never get bitten by mosquitoes, and I'm B negative - do they really have preferred types?
Back to the subject in hand, would it be possible for your bf to go there and for you to have a spa day or a shopping trip OP? Also... Does your cousin get a say in this?

I don’t get bitten much either. Also B-

Beeinalily · 20/06/2025 23:16

Interesting...

Devianinc · 20/06/2025 23:52

Just tell him that you got in touch with your cousin and he won’t be available while you’re traveling there. It’s weird that he’s pushing it so hard to be honest. What gives, like why?

Shinyandnew1 · 21/06/2025 08:31

i told him i can go by myself while he can go chill. But that was a no «because what if someting happends?

What if something happens to who?!

This is all sounding really weird-why does he need to see your cousin so much?!

SleepingisanArt · 21/06/2025 09:25

Let him go and visit uour cousin. You stay at the hotel, go to the pool, visit the local town etc and have a chill day. You both get to do something you prefer and then maybe you'll enjoy the rest of your holiday together.

ThereIsThunderInOurHearts · 21/06/2025 09:45

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 20/06/2025 22:30

Did he develop a crush on your cousin or something?

But seriously, it's out of order for him to invite himself to your cousin's place. What if your cousin doesn't want you guys there?

I was thinking maybe the girlfriend...

@Millijille did he pay particular attention to the girlfriend? Has he mentioned her at all since meeting them both?

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