Does anyone else find it awkward when you bump into people you know?

[YouMustBeTheWeasleys]

In town? Or in the supermarket?

I find it doesn’t seem to matter who it is either - it could be a close friend or my own mother and I still find we are making awkward stilted conversation even though we usually get on well!

DH says it’s because you aren’t expecting to see them and you both have a task to complete that you are acutely aware has been interrupted.

YABU - it’s not awkward
YANBU - it’s awkward

Has anyone ever bumped into someone they've snogged?

I’m autistic and have severe anxiety so it feels shit for me to not avoid them. Why should I put my own feelings above someone else’s?

No. Been married over 40 years though and live over 200 miles away from where I grew up. So the likelihood of that happening is very slim.

Bumping into your teenager in Sainsbury's - lovely for you, awkward for them!

I don't think it's got anything to do with you being autistic - it's a very common thing and we're trying to work out why. And I don't know.

I think this is personality dependent. I don’t need time to “prepare” to see anyone, so I am unbothered if it’s out of the blue and out of context.

I am often surprised at how many people on MN seem to be a bit socially awkward. I’m thinking of those people who refuse to answer the door if they are not expecting anyone. That seems bonkers to me!

Not really. If it’s someone I know well, it’s nice seeing them so no need to be awkward.

omg it’s the worst and I am relieved to know it’s not just me. Also awkward when you actually don’t feel awkward for once and breeze by saying hello and smiling and then about 1 second later thinking ‘oh wait was I meant to stop then and have a little chat?’ and then feeling guilty in case the other person was expecting more than a passing interaction and now you have dismissed them, how rude of you to act so important and busy busy busy, maybe you should’ve put your head down and pretended not to see said person 😂 ah….life.

Yes. One minute you’re in one headspace and then you’re suddenly thrust into having to make awkward small talk. Hate it. I usually scan the aisles to make sure there’s no one I know. If that makes me a weird old misery, so be it

I so often see my own mother shopping and it's so bloody awkward even though I'm probably going to see her again in about half an hour anyway.

Then you play let's try and avoid them as you walk around the shop!

I'm autistic and tend to err on the side of being too friendly and chatty and dumping whatever passed through my head over the last 12 hours on the unfortunate recipient ("Hellooo! Yes, my teenager's being a FUCKING NIGHTMARE and I just read something amazing about tectonic plates!!") until they visibly start backing away.

And then I have to go home and have a lie down.

It is indeed possible to be autistic and extroverted, and we are probably the people you're all hiding behind the kitchen roll to get away from 😳

No. It wouldn't occur to me to find it awkward.

Yes. Social interaction personally takes a lot of energy from me. I’m generally a pretty private and introverted person, and although I like lots of people, I take time to prepare myself for planned social interactions. If it’s thrust upon me unexpectedly I find it very awkward - I don’t know what to say, I can’t find my words, and I feel “in the spotlight”. I struggle also in general with being perceived or noticed. I don’t see it as a flaw as some seem to, it’s simply part of my personality.

Every interaction with humans outside the household is awkward.

The trouble is that this dislike of people can make for tricky interactions. We pass one family almost every day on the way to school, and most days from school; my DS was in various classes with the son for 3 years and we have many mutual friends. Usually only one parent with both children but we see 1 to 4 of them in all combos on various routes. Every time Dad and daughter smile, say hello, totally normal. Mum and son glower, duck their heads away, look awkward... Mum would return a hello with a slightly frantic look when we used to offer one, but son pretended he doesn't know us. I told DS to stop saying "Hi PretendsHeDoesn'tKnowUsBoy" because the boy never returned it. Next day, DS does a very cheerful and loud "Good morning [DadFirstName]!" And keeps walking, while PretendsHeDoesn'tKnowUsBoy stands staring back at us looking upset. Too late to speak, my wave didn't help. DS asked what he should have done then because the dad said hello. I just said I have no idea, maybe we stick to friendly smiles now just to dad and FriendlyDaughter. And that's what we do. Awkwardly. Unhappily.

All 76 or so other people we meet on the way seem fine; we all say hello if we spot each other, no drama if someone has a head down chatting or in a phone other times. Easy, simple. So the response distribution on this thread seems really unusual to me.

@GRex To be fair it sounds like you are contributing to the awkwardness. Why can’t you just smile or say a general “hi” to the family and whoever answers answers and just leave it at that?

That’s pretty weird.

All we ever did was say hello. But the boy behaved weirdly, scuttling about hiding and acting like he didn't know us. So I asked to DS to just not say hello any more and walk on, because the awkward child made the whole thing into the opposite of a gentle friendly greet-in-passing. Then because DS is just little, he greeted the dad because he decided it was rude not to reply. And there we got into this pickle. So now DS has learned to say hello to everyone excluding that one family, and because 2 people can't say hello properly we have 6 people shuffle awkwardly round each other in the street, with 4 of us plastering on weak half smiles to acknowledge it's all very awkward.

If we see just the dad and daughter, we stop and chat. But never about this. I'm not sure what we could say!

To be clear I don’t hate people and I don’t avoid them when I am out! I just find the chit that so awkward regardless of who it is and how close we are!

Well of course. I see 4 exes I've slept with around town regularly. No big deal

I meant more of a hookup like you bumped into someone you snogged on a night out

That wouldn't be a big deal either though. Besides if it was a drunken night out neither of you may recognize each other.

This. I moved back to my university city after several decades abroad and at around the time all my friends were hitting 50, so there was a stream of parties. Which I would float around mentally ticking off people I’d snogged or slept with in my student days.

Most of the time I'll say hi. But yeah, it is awkward as I'm an introvert and find unplanned interactions a bit tiring.

But, sometimes I'm on a quick errand and just want to get it done. I actually avoided my sister in a large supermarket today! She didn't see me but won't hold it against me when I fess up😄

Why?

Do you live alone?

I can't help but feel, in the internet age, that more people than ever are so socially isolated that they have forgotten how to interact with real people.