To change my name from Elizabeth

[awkwardasfuck]

God I just hate it. It sounds like lizard. It's a Christian name meaning "loved by god" and I'm a staunch atheist. It was the Queens name and I'm firmly anti royal. It was my maternal grandmothers name and she was abusive to my mum, who, in turn, has passed that trauma and abuse onto me to the point where we are no contact. Ive always been called Lisa but I don't like that much either.

I've been going by Lis, pronounced "Liss" but what can I move to? Urgh.

My middle name is Elizabeth and I wish my parents had called me that rather than the forename they did give me.

There are lots of variations of Elizabeth but I really love it in full.

You could go with the Scottish variant of the name instead (Isobel / Isabel) or the Spanish variant - Isabella.

If none of those grab you, I would move away from it completely. Maybe choose the name of a historical figure you admire, or your favourite literary heroine, or an auntie you really loved.

Buffy is also a diminutive for Elizabeth...

Elizabeth I was a bit feisty, as was Eliza Doolittle.

Go just for Lis, that's great. I love Liv as a standalone name and it has that vibe to me, sparky and cool.

Also, if you're amending your official name to something you're already known by, might that make you feel more confident in it?

Your dad named you for a joke? Did he realise he was going to be raising an entire person or did he think a grown up would step in and issue a sensible name after 6 weeks?
I can't think of many jokes which get funnier with every passing decade.
You can change your name as an adult. It works fine. Occasionally people talk about the past and use the name the person had then, but they can use your new name now and on the future.

Similarly a school friend of mine named Elizabeth was Biff.

I love Calista, from which you could easily keep Lis as your nickname.

I would go for something completely different to reflect your heritage and move you on from the toxic family.

I know an Eliza who is known as Lizi - pronounced Ly zee - not lizzi

It’s your name, if you want to change it you can change it.

Libby
Bessie

One of my cousins changed his name as an adult for similar reasons.

He was Keith and became Peter. Everyone got used to it, no issues.

I have a name I would change to if I ever felt there was a good reason to. In the meantime I use it for all my social media.

If you want to jettison it, absolutely go for something different that reflects your heritage but talk it through with your therapist so it's a meaningful process. But if you want a natural evolution, say because that's less awkward professionally, go for Libby.

Elissa if you want to keep the ‘Lis’ part

Betsan is a Welsh derivative of Elizabeth. Or how about Beti (another Welsh one), Betsy, Bette or Bet?

Unfortunately Betty was the derivative used by the Grandmother in question, otherwise I'd like Betty a lot

Yeah I'm 45. Emma must've been a
popular name when I was born. Can't think why, to be honest. Yep Louise is the middle name too. 😏 I've considered dropping the Emma and just being Louise but I'm too long in the tooth now haha.

If I changed my name I'd go for the name of a woman I admired from history, like Emmeline Pankhurst or in your case you might choose someone from your own cultural heritage.

Verity - I love Verity, not enough of them in the world.

or

Boudica - because the queen of the Iceni rocked.

I’d keep the name and go full Betty.

First off, you can obviously change your name to whatever you want if you don’t like the sound of your name or it has traumatic associations for you due to your Mum or Gran,

But the late Queen? C’mon 🤣 I’m not a Royalist either (or religious so I don’t care about the supposed meaning) - but the reason many people choose Elizabeth is that it is so timeless that there have been hundreds of amazing historical Elizabeth’s! I personally think of women like Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Elizabeth Gaskell, Elizabeth Fry, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Elizabeth Blackwell… and those were just the ones that instantly sprang to mind. I’d have a Google to associate your name with the ones that resonate with you.

And the amazing nicknames! My favourites are Elza, Bizzy, Lizbeth, Effie, Buffy and Bess. But there’s just so many… Imo your family may have done you wrong in other ways but not with the name they chose for you (and no, I don’t have a DD called Elizabeth so have no skin in the game). I personally think it would be easier to choose one of the great nicknames rather than changing it, but obviously up to you.

Do you no longer wish to be known as Lis/Liss?
Would you prefer something similar?
I've known a couple of Felicitys who are known as Fliss

Haha it was exactly that. The teacher used to have to call us Emma D, Emma C, Emma R, etc. I hated it. My best friend's name was Julianna. She really hated her name but I thought it was so exotic and individual as nobody else had that name.

My grandmother was Elizabeth but was known as Peggy, now there’s an unusual one for you !

I changed my name in my 30s. I thought it would be difficult but it wasn’t - easy to literally change and everyone I know made the effort to use my new name. Occasionally got called my previous name by mistake when people forgot, but 20 years on my previous name is a distant memory and when I hear it spoken I don’t feel any connection to it.
I always hated my name growing up, to the point that I felt embarrassed introducing myself.
I’d say, find a name you love and use it privately for a while until you feel comfortable yourself with it, then do things like set up an email address, change it on social media, use it with friends until it feels like “your name”, and then change it officially.