To think a large percentage of couples aren't In Love!

[Aquarius1234]

Those that are in relationships that started in the last 5 years.
Would you say your in love with your other half?

Or its just good enough and you get on Okay and didn't have any hangups about getting into a serious/ sexual relationship.
Neither of you had issues that meant it would be difficult to form a proper relationship..

I love my wife unreservedly, but it is a very different feeling to the early days. Still in love with her but it has evolved.

This is more for more people well into their 30s/ 40s / 50s..

You can love. You don’t have to be “in” love.

I love my DH and sometimes it is the soppy love and sometimes it is friendship love and some times it is passionate. 25 years in a couple of weeks!

How long did the early days last? Im guessing for you it's decades ago. When people had time and wanted to get to know each other properly to see if that in love thing happened.
Not clinical and robotic..

In my 40s, so is my OH. We met when we were both almost divorced. Still together 2 1/2 years later, most definitely in love! I kind of looked into dating thinking it would be nice to have some company with someone I found attractive. I didn’t expect to feel as strongly as I do. We don’t live together and won’t for some time (both our exes are remarrying and we don’t want the kids to be expected to blend in both homes, plus one or both of us would have to move). I do joke I’ve never had to wash his dirty pants! But we have a lovely relationship, mostly just the two of us but also with the DC. Never imagined I’d meet somebody who made me so happy post-divorce.

Why do you think people don’t have time to fall in love now?

I’m not sure I understand the limitations you’ve put on this thread, why only relationships formed in the last 5 years? Why only couples 30 and older?

Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.

Because this is what love is.
Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion.That is just being in love, which any fool can do.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.
Those that truly love have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two.

Captain Corelli’s Mandolin, Louis de Bernieres

We got together in 2016.
Married in 2018.
Two kids, 4 and 6.

The early days would be until our DD arrived, then we were effectively in the trenches together. Emerging from the fully intensive times with our love for each other changed but intact. If anything much stronger then before, but it does feel different.

Because dating and relationships seemed to have changed so much in recent years.
Blame I Phones / instagram/ face time/ whats app , whatever. Online dating. Check lists.
Is nothing organic or worth meaning.

I think lots of people in newer? relationships aren't in necessarily the right ones. Is good and decent or just alright but nothing much in common the same as being crazy in love.

Why stay with someone that's a friend but you dont fancy them. Or just that they are reliable and no health issues.

Falling in love is just oxytocin. It is temporary, but if you really like the person, then the feelings after are enduring and meaningful.

I love my husband. He loves me. I don’t really know if that’s the same as being ‘in love’ - it’s not particularly romantic a lot of the time. A lot of the time it’s just okay and we’re mostly just existing in the same house and parenting together which we do a good, mutually respectful job of on the whole.

Then there will be moments of real connection and we’ll remember we do love each other and we say ‘we should do more of this‘.

Yep very much in love with my husband of ten years, as is he with me. We have a great life

Okay as long as there's something specific about your husband compared to any other nice, decent man of a similar age / common ground.

Honestly, I think your assumptions here are quite odd. As a pp said — why these specific parameters of age and date?

This was the reading at our wedding 2 months ago ♥️

What do you think makes life great, compared to if you just got on quite well together??

I've been crazy, crazy in love before, but our relationship came at a point when we were far too young and inexperienced life-wise. I'm in love with my husband and it was intense falling in love and a gorgeous honeymoon period. Several years down the line, I'd still say we're in love, but it's a more balanced, safe kind of love. I wouldn't change it or him - we're quite happy ambling along. I know of very few couples that could say hand on heart that they're still wildly in love after a few years - but that doesn't mean the value and integrity of their love is any different.

Okay I sort of agree with this.
But then why are, only some relationships more compatible and get on like a house on fire and totally click compared to others.??
Sounds stupid but some relationships are the real deal compared to others that try so hard when they just aren't quite right for each other.
Whether they know that or want to change it is another matter.

I love my DH and he loves me. But I think what really makes our relationship work is that we are best friends. I want to look after him always as he is literally my fave person to hang out with. Also I still find him handsome over the breakfast table. We are 22 years married and the heady days are long gone but replaced by something deeper.

@Aquarius1234 why do I detect a bit of bitterness?

DH and I have been married over 20 years. We’re not all over each other all the time and making passionate declarations of love. But we do love each other.

Not bitter or thinking you need to be affectionate all over each other.
In love doesn't necessarily mean touching all the time... or saying it loud no thanks.

Im just curious whether it's fine to not be in love with whoever your dating/ in a relationship with.

As it seems that way from what I see.

Tho im not sure how much you need to like someone 😕 🤔 lol

Well for me. I like DH more than anyone else in the world. I like him a huge amount lol.

Been with my wonderful husband for twenty years, since we were teenagers, and I'm still head over heels in love with him.

I've been with my husband 34 years, I am in my mid-50s. I love him more than anyone, he is my favourite person, and we have a lot of fun together. Its not like it was thirty years ago, I seem to recall spending a couple of years in bed 😁, but I wouldn't swap him for anyone else and I feel very lucky to be with him, and happy to have shared so many adventures together.