To think a large percentage of couples aren't In Love!

[Aquarius1234]

Those that are in relationships that started in the last 5 years.
Would you say your in love with your other half?

Or its just good enough and you get on Okay and didn't have any hangups about getting into a serious/ sexual relationship.
Neither of you had issues that meant it would be difficult to form a proper relationship..

My husband and I have been together for over 20 years, and I love him but I was never 'in love' with him. When we met we got on really well, and I enjoyed spending time with him, but there was never a time when I was completely head over heels about him.
I'm really not sure how common this is? Do almost all relationships start with a passionate love affair?
I do have some regrets because I feel like this is something I missed out on, but our relationship is pretty good really 20 years and 2 kids later so I can't say that I made a wrong decision.

I'm 50, partner 58, definitely still in love, if anything more than when we got together as I know him better (in 1999).

This is how it is for us too. Put perfectly.

completely agree with this.
My nanna and granddad had, what I thought, to be the perfect relationship.
they were together for 75 years (sadly long dead).
i asked my nanna once what was the secret to their happy marriage.
she told me firstly to never go to bed on an argument.

secondly she said that essentially they made a conscious decision, when things were rough in their marriage, that they were in it for the long haul. For all the ups and downs.
she also told me at the age of 90 that they only had sex once a month but that didn’t mean they weren’t still in love 🤮
didn’t need to hear that at the time 😜

My point being, you could never see two people more in love than they were.
But it was built on firm foundations that they never forgot they had to maintain.

their adversity gave them strength in their relationship and that’s the model that DH & I follow.

not all hearts and flowers here after being together for 32 years, but we love each other so deeply on so many levels.

might not like each other very much at times, but we always love each other

drivinmecrazy, how lovely. I was the first and only divorce in my family (got pregnant in the 60s you got married,) I was besotted, thought he was,he changed almost immediately. There was no get out clause. Co ersive control, violent and after 20 years told me I was the only sexual female partner. He stayed in the closet and I was his respectable front for the middle class family. I think in beginning sexual chemistry and lust. Been together 36 years, married 26. Still love each other, don't spend a huge amount of time apart, same hobbies,we both love dogs that was a big thing for me. Met at work, his dad had just died my DM was dying. Everything just fitted.

Oh, second DH this is!!

I dont believe in love or sole mates.
But if anyone else does good for them.

Very well put.
Been with DP 19 years, and its like this, it shifts and undulates, over and within days, weeks and years.
To define as 'in love or not', is too reductive, and no offence to anyone, but reflects less maturity and experience of relationships over time.

I am absolutely in Love and besotted with my Husband and I believe he is the same with me. We don't have children (yet) and both know our lives will massively change if we do and are prepared for our relationship to change with it.

Love changes but it's still love.

The initial can't wait to see each other, thinking of the person all the time, the passion etc doesn't really last long. That's just the initial biological attraction.

What develops over time is a love based on things like trust, friendship, companionship, teamwork. That's actually much stronger and longer lasting.

I've been with my husband over 30 years and we love each other.

This is an odd thread. I have been with my husband for 16 years, married for 12 years. 2 children (10 and 7yrs). I love my husband. The love now is different than the early days. The early days was exciting and passionate. But now there is less passion and romance and some of life is just drudgery and parenting but it's like we have a deep friend connection and know what eachother are thinking and just have a feeling that you couldn't imagine living without them. Think that's love.

Been together 37 years (I think) as someone else says we still love each other but it's not so much a Mills & Boon or Hallmark version as just a gentle knowledge that we are two halves of a whole. We still get the occasional lovey dovey times but mostly it's just we're happy together. There's a sense of absence if he's not around and just completeness if he's here (if that makes sense). He's not in the best of health and I know life will go on but I want to put that time off for as long as I can.

When did you divorce your 1st husband?

Sounds like soul mates rather than honeymoon period..

Good luck with your surgery.
Definitely sounds like you found your perfect match.

Yeh this thread was supposed to ask the question if people are getting into relationships and forgetting about the can't wait to see you/ in love feelings.

Divorced my first h early 80s why do you want him!

I was trying to work out the time line in your post.

Take a breath and try again, OP. You write very confusedly. Are you saying that you think more people aren’t falling in love, but grabbing the nearest available person who isn’t obviously unsuitable or a werewolf or something? Why would they do that?

We're not together anymore but at the time it felt easy and good enough. No major issues or baggage so I just went with it till I didn't. Once I started questioning if I was IN love that's when the ball started rolling into me realising no and parting ways amicably.

I loathe this reading eith a deep deep passion

Thank you.
Lots of relationships are like that.
Not everyone believes in soul mates or being in love or hearts and flowers.
But obviously you wanted something extra.

I think people sometimes have a strange idea of what "in love" is. If its all about the butterflies of an early realtionship, that's often anxiety!

Being ggood friends, getting on and respecting one another, enjoying a good life together and knowing you can rely on one another. That's love.

We didn’t take time to fall in love, we just clicked and it happened very quickly. We’ve been living together since our third date!

the early days was more passion I guess and then it developed into a deeper love over the years.

together 14 years and late 40s.

I got pregnant at 18 in 1968, got married at 6 weeks, divorced 1988, had already met DH 2 at work,we got married 1999, silver wedding anniversary last July.