Well yes of course there’s something specific about DH. There’s lots of things - as there were at the beginning. He’s an incredible dad, he’s funny, he’s so completely loyal and committed to this family, he’s handsome and he’s very kind. Just off the top of my head - he has many wonderful qualities. As do I! We both also have a fair few less desirable traits and sometimes we get on each others nerves or get so caught up in our own thing we forget about each other for a bit. Which is ok too.
If you’re asking if there’s something specific that makes him particularly my soul mate, destiny or ‘the one’ - well no. I don’t believe in that. I’m sure I could have been as happy with any number of the billions of people on this planet had circumstances been different, and I could probably be pretty happy on my own too. I don’t feel like there’s one person who can ‘complete’ you or meet all your needs. Ultimately it was us two who met, fancied each other, enjoyed spending time together and ticked enough of each other’s boxes to want to build a life together - which we have and it’s a pretty good life that we’re both committed to.
The thing I see on mumsnet is either clearly terrible relationships that should be ended immediately, or it’s all ‘he’s my best friend, my favourite person, we have sex twice a day, prefer spending time with each other than anyone else and everything is perfect’. In my real life, and all the people I know well enough to know some details of their relationships, most people are just kind of muddling through. It’s not perfect or everything they dreamed of, they might not have much or any sex anymore, they argue a fair bit but always make up, or they don’t argue but don’t talk much either etc etc
If you’re asking if people settle because they want to be in a relationship or start a family then yes, load’s so probably - some knowingly some without admitting it to themselves. But I don’t think that’s a new thing, it’s always happened.