Leaving job after 3 weeks - feel like a failure

[Happyfeet82]

I started a new job three weeks ago and and it’s been a huge shock. It’s a very small company (fewer than 10 people), extremely fast-paced, and the culture is really not what I expected. My manager (who is the MD) is quite hostile and I don’t even have a proper desk, they’ve put me in a separate room because they didn’t have space for me, which just makes me feel even more isolated.

Since starting, my mental health has taken a real hit. I’ve cried almost every night, feel constantly anxious, and wake up dreading going in. I’ve had jobs with pressure before, but this is different , it just doesn’t feel right on any level.
I’ve spoken to my family (I live at home, mid 20s) and they’re incredibly supportive of me leaving. I’ve also got a second-round interview lined up next week for another role that feels like a much better fit.

But I can’t shake the feelings of shame, embarrassment, and failure. I feel like I’ve let myself down by getting into this situation. I don't know how to break the news to my manager that I can't continue.

I’m trying to remind myself that no job is worth sacrificing your mental health, but it’s hard not to feel defeated.

No shame in realising a situation isn’t working out and doing the best thing for your health and career. Leave, don’t put it on your CV, don’t think anything else of it.

God just leave and move on

Don't even mention it on your resume

Please don’t blame yourself. It’s horrible to be feeling like that. Sometimes a job is just not the right fit. I really wouldn’t worry about what they think when you resign. Would you need a reference from them? I’d be inclined to eliminate them from your CV going forward anyway so you wouldn’t need to worry.

I wouldn’t give it a second thought OP, genuinely. Just be glad you’re in position where you’re fortunate enough to be able to quit. Don’t waste your time being unhappy in a job that clearly isn’t right for you, life’s too short. Just invest your time and energy into finding something better and put your mental health and happiness first. Good luck with your interviews.

Please don’t feel like a failure! I think it takes guts to say, nah, this is not for me.

Working somewhere you’re unhappy is soul-destroying. Don’t look back!

You dust yourself down. You get back out there. Sometimes a job just isn’t a good fit. It happens
Tell the manager in email.Be factual. You don’t need to go into details or elaborate other than leaving
Resist temptation to not nuclear telling them any home truths. Keep it Cordial and cool.You still need to nominate them as a reference
Good luck in your interview - don’t be disheartened by this. One iffy job does not define you

They wouldn’t think twice about getting rid of you. Don’t give this any more thought. Thank them for the opportunity but it’s not a good fit for you.

@Happyfeet82 you are not a failure, you tried and it’s not for you and there’s no shame in that xx

I think you should be incredibly proud of yourself. You gave it a go and it’s crap so you’re off to find something much better. The alternative is staying there and letting your soul slowly shrivel up until you’ve convinced yourself that you can’t find anything better.

Well done.

There's no shame in this OP. I started a job when I was your age that in hindsight I shouldn't have stayed at. Do what's right for you.

Don't blame yourself OP, blame the company.

You made the right decision to leave.

Look at it this way , they've let you down.
The md is out of order being hostile and they certainly haven't been very welcoming to you.
Leave and don't look back.

I've had a couple jobs where I ignored the giant red flags in the first few weeks/ interview process. I regretted not leaving when my gut was screaming to get out. This is not failure, you're saving yourself from a shitty situation, I'd call that brave.

Having made the mistake of staying years in a job that was a disaster for me from the outset, I applaud your courage in realising that it isn't right for you and being proactive in moving on. Hold your head high. I wish you every success in moving forward.

It's a very positive thing to have realised this early OP.

Don't see it as a failure, it's anything but.

Just be pleased you came to the conclusion that it wasn’t a healthy fit for you now. There’s something to be said for knowing yourself well enough, that you can look at the situation, and realise it isn’t right for you.
It’s better to waste three weeks, rather than trying to tough it out, and keep being unhappy in a job you hate for six months or a year, etc.
Try to recognize the elements in this job, that made it unworkable for you, so you don’t make the mistake again.
Also, best to leave it off your CV.

There's no failure in realising that you aren't going to put up with crap and prioritising your mental health.

You should be proud of yourself.

I left a job after 10 days. I hated it. No shame in realising it's not for you so don't stay and let it get you down. Go to the manager say thank you for the opportunity but you've realised this isn't the job for you and you're leaving. That's all you need to do. Wishing you the very best of luck for your dream job.

I walked out of a second interview once because I just knew it wouldn’t be right for me. They seemed really shocked when I stopped the interview and said I didn’t want to go any further. I felt such relief leaving the building. Don’t feel you’ve failed by going with your gut feeling. It’s actually brave.

You’re not a failure. You’ve recognised this isn’t the job for you and are making changes. That’s a positive thing, not negative.

I would offer them constructive feedback when you resign, even if this is via email after you tell them you’re leaving.

It may work out differently for your replacement if they’re made aware how you’ve been made to feel. Good luck for your interview!

Did similar move early this year for similar reasons. Left after 3 months. I'm interviewing now and hoping to get something soon. But I wasn't going to waste my energy on a company where the MD didn't even remember my first day starting on the job!

Run dont walk.

It's not you, it IS them.

Hand in your notice either tomorrow or Friday.

Ots not failure- its good boundaries.

In your 20s you dont have childcare and mortgage payments and im guessing you are living at home?? In which case there is ZERO holding you there.

They sound like arseholes. Read your OP back who WOULD thrive in thst environment
You are being set up to fail.

Get out now and dont look back. Honestly in 12m you wont care one jot about these idiots or this job.

I left a job after about 8 weeks. Within a a couple of weeks I knew it wasn't right, a job came up with my previous employer, effectively a promotion, and I jumped at it. I've never looked back. Absolutely the best decision for me.

I left my last job after 4 weeks, it was hideous and just completely wrong for me. Bosses were absolutely vile and the whole shebang was just about screwing clients for every last penny whilst providing an absolute joke of a service. The relief when I quietly left my keys on my desk was amazing, I emailed to say I wouldn’t be coming back and then had to put my phone to airplane mode for the weekend as the boss rang me over 30 times leaving abusive messages and threatening me with legal action! I have a lovely job now and don’t have the shit job on my CV