Could you be with someone with alcohol problems?

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Could you be with someone who has alcohol issues to the extent they pour alcohol into a coffee mug to drink in the evenings to disguise it.

Also same person has alcohol fuelled Andy outbursts when they can’t cope with something.

Could you be with a partner/spouse who is like this?

Would you say “no way!” and ends the relationship? or would you say

“well to be fair their life is stressful I’ll cut them some slack and try and support them”

If I were already married I'd persevere. If I weren't, I'd be telling them they need to get help. If they didn't engage with support I'd have to consider ending it.

I'd end it, they just get worse and more bitter. Unfortunately I've got a friend with this issue, she's becoming increasingly nasty as she heads towards 60 and now, her drinking is killing her. Their focus will always be alcohol, even on holiday. Nights out are ruined. Don't waste your time.

Thank you for your responses thus far, I really appreciate them x

No way - their relationship with alcohol is more important to them than their relationship with you.
They may need support but that doesn’t have to come from someone emotionally involved with them - there are counsellors, therapists, AA for that.
You may want to “fix” them but some people can’t be “fixed”, especially if they don’t want to.

He'd be out, I've been there, I had no children and not married, he used all the excuses under the sun to drink, he never got angry tho, couldn't rely on him for anything, even excuses why he couldn't leave, it might sound harsh but I was desperate to finish the misery he was causing so, I just packed his stuff, with him still saying I can't because bla bla bla, fell on deaf ears. I grabbed them and slung them on the pavement outside. It's not your job to support and fix a grownup when they don't want to help themself. Look after yourself, he needs to take responsibility for his choices.

Nope, I’ve lived with that. Miserable experience and not one I’d like to repeat.

Absolutely not. I would end the relationship.

No. I couldn’t. My dad was an alcoholic so 🤷

Well, I could yes. But would I? No.

I don't drink alcohol by choice. I would not choose a partner who drinks. He would be booted out as far as I am concerned.

Addicts of any kind are a nightmare. The substance they crave will always be their first focus. If they want to get clean/sober and can stay that way, all well and good, but in my personal experience that is rare.

Nope. I am casually seeing someone who is an alcoholic but he’s been sober for 3 years, attends regular meetings which are set in stone

Angry* not Andy outbursts !! Sorry for typos!

Thanks again for everyone’s feedback on this it’s good to get your views ❤️

No. Anyone who stays with a problem drinker and makes excuses for them or thinks it will get better is deluding themselves. Supporting an alcoholic can easily become enabling which protects them from the consequences of their drinking and delays the rock bottom required for them to seek help because they want to stop.

I'm a recovering alcoholic and have been clean almost eight years, it's very hard. You have to want it more than anything else. If the person you are in a relationship with is not in that place, unfortunately, there isn't anything you can do. He has to want it and make the changes himself. You can't fix him.

No, it was bad enough being best friends with someone with that kind of alcohol problem, let alone being in a relationship with them

No way , having an alcoholic sibling was bad enough but I could go home and leave them to it. It would be 10 times worse to have that behaviour in my home. I'd run a million miles away from anyone like that with no apologies

Depends. I wouldn't want to be with someone that had violent and angry outbursts whether they were a drinker or not. The drinking is largely irrelevant.

Some people just drink a bit too much to relax. I wouldn't have much of an issue with that. But someone turning violent and abusive through drink which happens with some people no way.

You get functioning and dysfunctional alcoholics, it is not the same for everyone.

Absolutely no way. I stay away from undisciplined drunks, and I see any kind of addiction as a weakness. I am not willing to spend my precious time putting up with someone else’s unnecessary bs, drama and lack of willpower. Let them sort it out. I’m neither a martyr, nor their saviour. But that’s just me. I’m ruthless 😈😄

My husband is a recovering alcoholic and has been sober 30+ years.

I wouldn’t stay if he started drinking. One drink and I’d be gone. 🤷🏻‍♀️

No. Married or not, I wouldn't stay with someone so dependent on alcohol..that's not a partnership. Drinking would impact so much upon any chance of a normal life.

No. Went through alcoholism via my brother many years ago and it was horrific. He has been dry for over 30 years thankfully, but the trauma of that time has stayed with me. I'm funny about people who drink too much too often and keep my distance for my own well-being. It's a terrible addiction and I wouldn't hang around if my date/boyfriend/partner/spouse was showing signs of being unable to drink in moderation. I don't think anyone who hasn't had direct experience of alcoholism has any idea of just how awful it is.

As someone who had alcohol problems when they were younger, absolutely no fucking way.

Had an alcoholic stepfather. It was hell.

Even if somebody was a recovering addict I would avoid them like the plague. I don't believe people can really change, and I would always be waiting for them to relapse.I once ended s relationship because a guy admitted he had smoked for a year 10 years ago and found it hard to give up. Cross addiction is a thing, and I couldn't trust that he wouldn't develop a drink or drug problem at a later stage.I grew up with an alcoholic parent so I have no trust.