Could you be with someone with alcohol problems?

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Could you be with someone who has alcohol issues to the extent they pour alcohol into a coffee mug to drink in the evenings to disguise it.

Also same person has alcohol fuelled Andy outbursts when they can’t cope with something.

Could you be with a partner/spouse who is like this?

Would you say “no way!” and ends the relationship? or would you say

“well to be fair their life is stressful I’ll cut them some slack and try and support them”

OP - is this your partner/spouse, or is this you?

There is something in the way that this is written that makes me wonder if you are talking about yourself?

He'd be aout. Married or not. I've been in that situation. Partner was drinking rum laced coffee at 7.30 on a sunday morning, and god knows when else. I'm just glad he didnt have a car at the time.

Get rid before you saddle yourself with a selfish prick

No way. We all have stressful lives but hitting the bottle doesn't reduce any of it. Trying to conceal his level of alcohol consumption is a very, very bad sign. Anger outbursts are another and be warned these will almost certainly escalate over time and you may then be in potential danger.

This guy needs medical intervention, which he may or may not be willing to cooperate with. He could be in denial in which case the future looks bleak.

I lost a very good male friend to alcoholism. He was warned repeatedly by his GP to quit the booze. He had a couple of brief dry spells but then returned to it and it cost him his life. Alcoholism is a horrible disease but the person has to really want to commit to becoming sober. Nothing you say or do is going to change that.

Well done, you should be proud of yourself! Good luck to you in your future x

I did, for a while it was horrible and 20 years later I still regret the time and emotional energy I completely wasted and I am forever grateful I walked away

I bet the majority of the posters saying they would leave would not.

I am completely T total. I do not like the taste of alcohol. I can categorically say I would not be with a loser like that. Alcohol will always be the most important thing in their life. There is nothing remotely attractive about a drunk person or alcoholic. Be it man or woman.

It was the most painful experience of my life and it was extremely extremely hard to extricate myself from. I didn’t want to give up on him, and he went in and out of rehab over the years, but there was always a relapse and it killed me every time. In active addiction, his behaviour was self pitying, selfish, constant blaming me and others for causing the relapses. The misery and the chaos was hideous. It was a half life.

No. I don't think I'd sacrifice my life that way. I'd support someone through rehabilitation and lifestyle changes to make it possible for them to continue to live without alcohol, but if they weren't willing to quit drinking or said they would but didn't follow through with action, I'd be out.

No definitely not. There’s plenty of men about pick one that’s not a drunk.

So sorry for your loss. You must have so many complex feelings about it xxx

I was with an alcoholic, living together but not married. I would never, ever repeat the experience. It never ends well. Better to be alone than be in bad company.

I would like to say, no I wouldn't. However, my boyfriend of 2 years died earlier this year due to his alcoholism, and I didn't know about his drinking problem. I'm sure he didn't tell me because I thought I'd leave him. I probably would but who knows, I adored the man. (He was always lovely to me, no meanness or angry outbursts.)

I tried. I really tried. For 4 years I gave absolutely everything in me. I am an educated, savvy, sensible snd strong woman but I found myself compromising myself, and making excuses to friends and family far too many times and crying far far too much than I could ever justify. It ruined me. I wanted to help him. To fix him. But in the end it became me having to fix myself because of what I'd voluntarily put myself through. I couldn't ever do it again.

Certainly not.

Look up Pancreatitis.

My dad’s just been in intensive care, we almost lost him. He was in hospital for weeks and lost all his mobility. He’s very lucky to be alive and it’s taking a long time learn to walk again and there’s still a chance all his organs could fail (he’s 58).

He was never a secret or aggressive drunk, but drank every single night and weekend all his life.

I wouldn’t want this for myself at all. I’d leave if my partner wasn’t willing to get help.

Absolutely not. My father was an alcoholic...I'd never willingly put myself in that situation.

I wouldn't again. I left one wish I never met him

Not a chance. Been there done that, would never tolerate an alcoholic ever again.
It's a shitty life

Absolutely not. If already married/in a committed relationship I would persevere and help them get help. If they had no interest in getting help or repeatedly relapsed, I would end it.
I’d never enter into a relationship with someone who was already an alcoholic.

Nope. Was seeing a fella a couple of years ago I quickly discovered was alcoholic. He worked his way through my small stash of booze which I didn’t notice till after I dumped him. He’d make up a g&t before bed time and hide it in the back of the fridge (not very well, I saw it!). By 9am it was gone (he’d drunk it!).

Days out were centered around the pub and by 11am he’d get agitated and aggressive. Was fine once he’d had a pint.

finally straw for me was when he turned up at mine to give me and my DC a lift and he’d had a drink or 3. Ditched him that night.

Nope. I divorced my alcoholic ex husband. It’ll only get worse. We lost our house.

Not sure of the voting choices.

No, I couldn’t live with it. My Dad is an alcoholic, currently sober, but it’s just such an awful thing to live with.

Absolutely not

I tried and I stayed far longer than I should have out of a sense of responsibility. But alcoholics who are still drinking really can't be in relationships, their only real relationship is with alcohol.
The anger, violence, and walking on eggshells was one part, but there was also the covering up for him, the constant worry of never knowing where he was and whether he would make it home alive, let alone when he would come home and in what state.

Breaking point for me was falling pregnant and realising that I had to have a termination as I couldn't bring a child into the world with this man as their dad. It took me another year to leave, but that was definitely the catalyst.

Twenty years later and he's now a sixty year old man, living with his dad, not working still drinking. A sad waste of a life. I'm glad I didn't waste mine with him.