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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think it's OK to carry my toddler while pregnant

90 replies

gollyimholly · 17/06/2025 02:35

AIBU to think it's ok to carry my toddler whilst pregnant?

I'm just 3 months pregnant and I have been told off one too many times for carrying my 2 year old. Today it was in a cafe by total stranger who heard me say I was expecting to the barista.

My 2 year old is about 19kg so definitely not the lightest and I struggle to carry her for a long period of time but I can manage about 5mins before it gets too much of a struggle.

I just googled the dangers and it says things like: back pain, increased risk of falls and balance issues. But today's lady in the cafe said it could result in a prolapse, my mum said it could result in a miscarriage...

OP posts:
Eenameenadeeka · 17/06/2025 02:52

Of course it's okay. Your toddler doesn't stop needing you just because you are pregnant, and your body is used to carrying them.

TheatreTraveller · 17/06/2025 03:00

Of course it's absolutely fine.

Bobbie12345678 · 17/06/2025 03:12

It is fine. But.. your toddler is very heavy for her age. The 95th centile for a three year old is only about 17-18kg. You should maybe see her doctor.

EconomyClassRockstar · 17/06/2025 03:25

Well who else is going to carry them? Of course it's ok! But maybe, also encourage them to walk as much as possible before the baby is born so that walking is the norm.

ButterBites · 17/06/2025 03:46

Nothing wrong with it at all, as long as you can manage it!

My son was 2 and circa 13kg when I carried him when pregnant so a lot lighter, but I’m sure carrying him and regularly being on the floor with him helped keep me fit in my second pregnancy and made my second pregnancy much more comfortable overall compared to my first!

littleweedandherflowers · 17/06/2025 03:49

Carried mine until the day dd was born ! Absolutely fine xx

WorriedMamma2 · 17/06/2025 04:04

I was dancing around with my 3 year old in my arms when I was a lot further along than that and carried him throughout my pregnancy. You'll be fine and so will baby!

caringcarer · 17/06/2025 04:16

19kg is heavy for a 2 year old and throughout your pregnancy your 2 year old may get heavier. I'd encourage they to be walking and holding your hand. Still fine to have them sit on your lap etc but I don't think walking around carrying 19kg can be doing you any good.

Overthebow · 17/06/2025 04:18

Usually yes, but your / year old is a lot heavier than most 2 year olds so I’m not sure. My dd was 3 when I was pregnant with my second DC but she was only about 14kg then and I still struggled with that. I’d check with your GP.

CommissarySushi · 17/06/2025 05:29

I would be very careful and try to encourage more walking. 19kg is a lot. Absolutely do not pick them up for at least a few weeks after birth, so it would definitely be a good idea to get them used to walking more.

Moonnstars · 17/06/2025 06:14

Yes I don't see a problem other than the weight of your toddler. My first child didn't walk til my second was born so I had to carry them when pregnant as there was no other option (I mean picking them up, carrying around the house, obviously I used a pushchair when out). He definitely wasn't that heavy though.

Hercisback1 · 17/06/2025 06:16

19kg is one hefty 2yo, have you had her seen by a doctor?

Later on it becomes really uncomfortable to carry them, but now it's fine.

RosesAndHellebores · 17/06/2025 06:30

I lifted and carried throughout pregnancy. And walked and drove, gardened, etc. None of those things destabilises pregnancy and none of them cause prolapse. (A very big baby/poorly managed labour might).

Why would you tell a barrista you are pregnant at all?

Why is your child 19kg at 2?

Why listen to a mother who talks utter nonsense?

NoraLuka · 17/06/2025 06:31

I carried DD1 around when I was pregnant with DD2 and was ok, although did give birth about 4 weeks early - nobody ever said it was related but I think it might have been triggered by leaning over to put DD1 in her car seat. I can’t remember how much DD1 weighed but she was 15 months when DD2 was born so definitely a lot less than 19 kg.

It’s probably a good idea to encourage more walking gradually from now so you don’t have to carry her as much in later pregnancy.

RobinHeartella · 17/06/2025 06:34

I think that must be a typo because my dd is turning 5 and she's not yet 19kg. She's slightly above average weight for her age.

I'd say, if your toddler really is that big, then yes I'd be cautious of carrying her too much as you could get pelvic problems

Olika · 17/06/2025 06:35

My DD is same weight and I wouldn’t carry her if I was pregnant just to be on the safe side. A much lighter kid yes.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 17/06/2025 06:43

I would carry my two year old whilst pregnant but not my four year old. However, I just weighed them and my four year old weighs 17kg and my two year old weighs 12.5kg.

Maybe it's not a bad idea to get your toddler's weight checked out. And encouraging them to walk independently is really important.

Amba1998 · 17/06/2025 06:49

My 4.5 year old just turned 18kg and I can carry her out the car or something but couldn’t carry her otherwise while pregnant! It’s heavy!

Hercisback1 · 17/06/2025 06:52

My 5yo is 19kg and not sure I'd be OK carrying him when pregnant. Are you sure your toddler is 19kg?

lochmaree · 17/06/2025 06:52

My 5.5yo is 18kg and I wouldn't be carrying him at all, regardless of pregnancy 😂

DoubleTimeStep · 17/06/2025 06:58

It's fine within reason. But I'd start to discourage it as much as I can. Your DC is already very heavy, and unless you are 6ft2 and have press-ups for breakfast, will be a strain on your back and muscles which will only increase as she gets heavier and your body gets more injury prone in pregnancy.

Of course still pick them up for a hug/if needs must and for as long as you can (I briefly hoiked my teen off the floor for a hug yesterday just to prove to myself I still could!). I'd avoid standard carrying behaviour as much as possible for everyone's sake though.

ThejoyofNC · 17/06/2025 06:59

No wonder people are telling you not to carry 19kg!

ShesTheAlbatross · 17/06/2025 06:59

Is that a typo on the weight?

Research has shown that frequently lifting over 20kg does increase your risk of problems (specifically preterm birth). This research was looking at lifting heavy things at work, rather than as exercise, so probably applicable. It covered 62,000 women.

Needspaceforlego · 17/06/2025 07:03

It can definitely cause pelvic pain and back pain.
I was around that stage and carried my oldest the length of a swimming pool, 25m, burst nose, needed to get to first aid room.
My pelvis was sore the next day. I didn't feel it at the time.

I had pelvic pain from 22weeks in my first pregnancy and was super careful not to let it flair up after that the second time.
It's to do with your ligaments loosing off and the extra pressure on your body.

WaltzingWaters · 17/06/2025 07:11

I’m 16 weeks and carrying my 3yo a fair bit. I did get much stricter on him walking once I was pregnant to get him used to it, but still, he’s a toddler who needs mummy. Also, it’s a movement your body is used to. So as long as not overdoing it it’s fine.

Having said that, your 2yo is extremely high centiles for weight. My 3yo I think is only around 13/14kg (not weighed him for a little while), so keep that in mind and try not to overdo it.