To think it's OK to carry my toddler while pregnant

[gollyimholly]

AIBU to think it's ok to carry my toddler whilst pregnant?

I'm just 3 months pregnant and I have been told off one too many times for carrying my 2 year old. Today it was in a cafe by total stranger who heard me say I was expecting to the barista.

My 2 year old is about 19kg so definitely not the lightest and I struggle to carry her for a long period of time but I can manage about 5mins before it gets too much of a struggle.

I just googled the dangers and it says things like: back pain, increased risk of falls and balance issues. But today's lady in the cafe said it could result in a prolapse, my mum said it could result in a miscarriage...

Hello,

Thank you everyone for your replies so far, only had a chance to read page 1 but to answer questions so far

• 19kg is not a typo, she is tall for her age as DH is quite tall and GP and consultant at hospital (for an illness she had last year but is now resolved and not weight related) are aware of her weight and are not concerned. She is healthy and not a fussy eater. Lots of veggies and fish and chicken in her diet which she enjoys. Whenever we go to a new play setting she is mistaken for a much older child.

@RosesAndHellebores I told the barista as we're regular customers and she wanted me to try a new drink but I'm avoiding sugary stuff as much as I can. It was a friendly chat..

I think perhaps my take home so far is that most people who carried their toddlers were fine and that's probably because they weren't so heavy. A PP mentioned a study where carrying loads of 20+kg could be problematic and so I think I'll be a bit more mindful

OK, managed to get through all the replies.

I think I will try wean DD a bit from carrying her. It's not a lot of carrying everyday. Typically it is putting her in her car seat and taking her out but I might carry her into the house. And we do have a pushchair but when we go for a short walk to the park I usually skip taking the pushchair as I would prefer her to walk it... Or a quick trip to the local shops (maybe a 5-10 minute walk) we won't take the pushchair. But on some of those journeys she will ask to be carried - usually on the way back and that's when I was estimating I probably can carry her for maybe 5 minutes max.

I feel a bit sad about getting her a bit more independent as some of you mention your much older 3/4/5 year olds weighing similar or less than DD - I feel like I am missing out on a year or two's worth of carrying DD

My 5yo is 91st centile for height at 116cm and 19kg. His weight is lower than his height centile. How tall is she?

I do think she's too heavy for you to be routinely carrying now, pregnant or not. Not her fault or yours and doesn't mean she has no physical contact with you, but her carry days are nearing the end.

At her last check up a couple of months ago she was 96cm.

Yes, I think you're right really, pregnant or not, I did have a feeling the days were numbered :(

It’s a misconception that heavy lifting can cause a miscarriage. Briefly educate these busy bodies and move on. I had the same, at work though.

Another lady I worked with gave birth to a little girl at 20ish weeks. 🥺 The vitriolic comments from the idiots at work…. ‘Oh well, she shouldn’t have been lifting such heavy things’ etc.
It was a medically induced birth because the baby had a trisomy. People are real jerks at times.

Completely beyond the topic but this really makes me think of how malnutrition affected so many in my country during communism...

An almost 1 meter tall 2 year old would have been unheard of !

I worked in a nursery when pregnant and carried many toddlers. I also had a toddler of my own when pregnant with the second. The people saying you shouldn't carry him are being ridiculous. Life doesn't just stop when we're pregnant. How many people would need to stop working when pregnant if we couldn't carry something the same weight as a toddler.

Yes it’s fine. I mean realistically what else r u going to do !

I agree that encouraging her to walk more is the best thing to do. In the meantime, I would look into making sure you're picking her up safely. Engaging your core and pelvic floor and and breathing out as you lift her.

I carried my toddler while pregnant at times. I'd suggest maybe carry on your back with a suitable sling, or a ring sling that spreads the weight over your body fairly equally

I had big toddlers too, DD was 3/4 when I was pregnant so bigger than yours and I carried her without a problem when needed right up to giving birth. when pregnant with her I was decorating and moving furniture right up to labour too.

some kids are just naturally bigger, genetics make a difference. my DS was probably about your DDs height and weight at 2. He’s 5 now and still tall but weight sort of plateaued though he’s tracked 99th centile since birth. DD is 10 now and above the 99th centile for height and weight too.

Have you had her height and weight checked recently? Her height puts her in the 92st centile which is tall, however her weight is 4kg above the 99th centile for a 2.5 year old. That's a big percentage of her bodyweight to be over compared to her height.

Um, I was at the gym lifting weights throughout most of my pregnancy and a lot heavier than 19kg.

women work in physical jobs around the world when pregnant.

you must be careful but the idea that carrying a 19kg child is bad is ridiculous

I carried two of mine whilst pregnant with my third. It's fine so long as you hold them in an appropriate way.

Women have always done this!