To think it's OK to carry my toddler while pregnant

[gollyimholly]

AIBU to think it's ok to carry my toddler whilst pregnant?

I'm just 3 months pregnant and I have been told off one too many times for carrying my 2 year old. Today it was in a cafe by total stranger who heard me say I was expecting to the barista.

My 2 year old is about 19kg so definitely not the lightest and I struggle to carry her for a long period of time but I can manage about 5mins before it gets too much of a struggle.

I just googled the dangers and it says things like: back pain, increased risk of falls and balance issues. But today's lady in the cafe said it could result in a prolapse, my mum said it could result in a miscarriage...

If you’re used to carrying that weight then surely it shouldn’t be a problem?
Pregnant women with manual jobs or who already weight lifted before pregnancy tend to carry on lifting much the same as before with no issues. Don’t quote me but I’m sure nhs guidance says the same.
Also unsure why everyone is picking on a 2 year olds weight! Some kids are heavier than others…we can’t all be average?

I mentioned the weight because I genuinely thought it might be a typo. If we say she’s 2.5, then 18kg is the 99.6th centile. And she’s a kg over that.

I lofted considerably more than that during my pregnancy in the gym.

Honestly, people are idiots. Carry on as you are.

I weight trained when I was pregnant so I hardly thinking lifting a toddler is going to push you over the edge. Obviously, I wasn't really pushing myself and was more a lighter weights, multiple reps type. Ligaments do soften when you are pregnant so you don't want to overdo it. My first baby grew into an enormous toddler and we had to add extra pages to his height weight record as he soared about the usual percentiles and picking him up wasn't that excessive. (As an adult he has a normal BMI and at worst could be described as solid.)

At that weight I’d be very careful anyway, though mine weren’t that heavy when they started school. I carried my dd around when I was pregnant with her sister but we are talking about 11kg not 19

I wouldn’t, not due to physical harm during pregnancy, but when baby comes it’s a bit challenging to carry around both a baby and toddler, and if you‘ve not broken the habit with them beforehand they will associate sudden lack of being carried with baby’s arrival. I stopped with all of mine as soon as I learnt I was pregnant to give a good period of time where they learnt it wasn’t a thing for them anymore. Also essential to get DH/partner on board so you are singing from the same sheet.

One difference between lifting in a gym and carrying a child.
You lift in a gym 🏋️‍♀️ the weight is spread evenly, your braced and ready to lift it.

Toddlers wriggle and often people carry on one hip because they need a hand free to open doors.
So the weight isn't evenly spread out and puts more pressure on one side of the body and spine into a weird twist.

I absolutely knew after carrying my 5yo 25m that I'd hurt myself. He's about 9th gentile so probably wasn't even 19kg.

It’s totally fine, women have been doing it since time immemorial.

Completely fine, I was carrying my 3 year old up to the day before I had his brother!

Toddlers are different heights and weights. It’s perfectly possible for a tall 2 yo to be 18kg.

My almost-two year old is almost 2.5 stone. She’s very tall, pretty much off the centile charts for height. Not at all chubby.

The mean weight for a 5yo girl is 18kg, I just googled. This isn't us picking on it like being mean. It's just either a typo (as I said upthread I thought it must be) or, as I said upthread, op should be careful of her pelvis because it's like carrying a 5yo which most of us wouldn't do regularly when pregnant.

I had horrific pelvic problems in both pregnancies and that was partly because I swallowed the myth that I could keep lifting weights. What a mistake, it's taken me years to recover full strength in my pelvis (I still haven't quite recovered).

I still think it's a typo. Maybe op meant (say) 29lb which is slightly above average for 2yo.

Yes, some kids are off the charts. Mine is. She’s super tall, due to having tall parents. She’s not fat in any way. Can people stop questioning the weight in the OP?!

My 5yo is the tallest in his class and 19kg. Either this is a giant toddler or they're overweight.

She's still over half a stone lighter than the OP's toddler.

My doctor has specifically said it's okay to carry my 3.5 year old as long as it still feel comfortable for me. She's only just over 14 kg though and also disabled so I don't have a choice! At the very least I have to lift her in and out of her wheelchair, or into the swing at the park. Plus at one therapy appointment we have to leave her wheelchair downstairs and I'm not going to make her crawl up to the room! There is a lift but then still a short corridor and three steps after the lift. Once we're inside she does usually crawl from the waiting room into the actual therapy room. I'm 25 weeks now and can't carry her far - if we're out she has to stay in her wheelchair. Since you're presumably used to carrying your toddler you should be okay. 19 kg seems a lot though - was that a typo or is he also really tall for his age?

It’s only slightly over the 99th centile. Some children are on the 100th centile or off the scale. It happens. They grow at different rates. People always think my under 2 year old is at least 3 due to her height and speech ability.

The difference here is if you had previous pelvic issues. I was crippled with pelvic girdle pain during my pregnancies so I couldn't lift 19kg and with my history of loss id be very wary but that's more me than anything. I'm already thinking of how I'll manage dd when I go again but ill just have to but I will be encouraging her to walk more at that stage to spare my ligaments when Im pregnant again.

Yes, but she’s only 22 months.

A 19kg 2 year old? Crikey.

My 5yo is 19.5kg

It’s very rude to keep derailing the point and the question of the OP to comment on how heavy her toddler is.

A 2yo who resembles a 3yo is common. A 2yo the size of a 5yo is not common! But in any case I'm sure op will be back to clarify, I think it must be a typo and/or mixing up lb and kg (say, 29lb instead of 19kg).

Well, it is unusual. We are allowed to comment you know.

Which could be anywhere between 2 and 13 months younger than the OP's child.

Either way, if your child gained more than 4kg in the next year that would be very rapid weight gain.

Well, she’s also 15.5kg (I think - not too good with metric) at 22 months, which is probably pretty similar to the average weight of a 4 year old. She’s slim and tall. Her aunt is a model so I imagine it comes from that side of the family. Shes at the top of the centiles and so is OP’s child. It’s just irritating to question the weight as if such children don’t exist! In my case my daughter is just tall but even if OP’s child is overweight it’s still rude to derail the thread

Sure, but it’s still very much a pile on to the OP going ‘are you SURE? Your child can’t POSSIBLY be on the 100th centile?’ Etc. someone has to be, you know!