AIBU STBXH bringing his affair partner to my home when I’m on holiday.

[jamandscones]

I’m an older lady, long marriage (50 yrs) to a shit husband I should have divorced years ago. Cheating, abusive and a shit dad. Yes I’m weak, but I’ve been so worn down by it over the years. So the latest (the slag that broke this camels back) triggered divorce. Divorce in progress but will take months also will need to sell the house. I cannot afford to rent. He won’t move out. I am going on holiday with my daughter and he insists this woman can stay the week in my home. I have my own bedroom and will lock the door and put in a Ring camera. My home has photos of my children and grandchildren and my personal items

He is doing this to hurt me. His own solicitor was shocked and said she would not like it and it was ungentlemanly, but nothing I could do about it. I’ve already told the neighbours. I went away to family last weekend and she stayed here. She left condoms and lube on my coffee table.

He says he has the right as it’s half his house AIBU and more to the point anything I can do about it? She’s aware I don’t want her here.

Sorry just to add I hope you have a brilliant holiday and don't give the loosers a second thought.

He’s disgusting but he’s doing this to get a reaction from you, don’t give it to him.

Have a great time on holiday and try not to even give him a second thought.

Play him at his own game, find yourself a nice bloke to invite round and have the time of your life. PS- make sure your dickhead of a husband is home so he can hear you riding that new dick to town and back 😂💅🏻

even if he’s a shit shag, just act like he’s the best thing since sliced bread.

They sound like a very toxic couple OP, you are well rid of him! I’m so sorry you are having to go through this.
I’ll echo other posts, anything sentimental needs to go to your daughter’s house. If the ex DH knows how to pick the lock then the harlot could go in your room and damage things or go through your personal items. See if a locksmith could fit a more substantial lock.
My advice would be to hold your head high and have a lovely holiday, lots of photos of how much fun you are having without him.
I did have a friend who was in a similar situation and she brushed her cat’s teeth with the ex’s toothbrush. Do you know anyone with a pet who might appreciate a little dental type work?

Unless you have to play nice with him to get something for yourself or children in court....
Buy condoms and smear them with a lipstick and leave them for him to find out.
Just play all innocent "oh my, what is that" grab and bin it.
He will dig through the trash as starving racoon

He "needs" lube? She can't even fake it successfully

There's absolutely nothing you can do. Just don't let him get to you. Go and enjoy your holiday.
My ex wife invited her affair partner and his girlfriend to our then family home just after we split up and my then 14 year old daughter was in the house as well. She is an absolute vile woman and so is your husband

OP get lots of OAP brochures for care products and nursing homes addressed and sent to him, time them to arrive on different t days when you’re away. Get someone pretending to be a man sending you a post card while you’re away about missing you and can’t wait to catch up. Bunch of flowers for you on your doorstep thanking you for a hot date.
seriously, head high and just be thankful you found out who he was while you’re young enough to move on

So I’m probably a bit vindictive and you can’t stop him perhaps from having the ow staying. However it’s half your property if it was me I’d have a very vocal opinionated friend stay the week in my absence. Will totally piss on his and her parade and will be a failsafe way they can’t start messing around with your access. Total loser of a man you’re better off without this dickwad but please do ruin any chance of them enjoying the week but make sure you post Photos everyday of you living your best life 😄

How awful you’re having to deal with this low life of a man. Especially given the number of break ins in the area and the fact, your bags just been stolen…..with the house keys in….so the locks really had to be changed immediately before you went on your holiday ….🤷‍♀️

What sort of woman would even want to do this??!!? She must have the morals of an alley cat. I'd leave them to it, OP, they sound like they're more than deserving of one another.

But I'd have a little fun too. Hide the toilet rolls, and take the wi fi router on holiday with you.... it deserves a rest surely?! And put parental controls on the TV.

Oh just to add if you have an opinionated and vocal friend with teenagers even better!

Ah OP ..
What a nasty piece of work ..
I hope you get out of there soon & meet someone nice aswel .. x

Leave some out of date prawns somewhere he won’t find them

I feel like I could have written this myself. I am exactly the same. I’m anxious about going out to meet friends for dinner these days as I know I’ll be knackered for days after due to a later night (not super late) and a glass of wine or two. Surely this isn’t normal.

He is absolutely disgusting.
However - what an absolute gift from god that he is behaving as he is so you can have ZERO and I mean ZERO regrets that what you are doing is the right choice!!!!! There’s a silver lining to this and it’s a fucking big one - you are, after many years, about to be completely free of this horrible horrible person. And this proves just how horrible, disgusting and cruel he really is. The second silver lining is that all the shit he has put you through has made you super strong. Ultra resilient. Remember these facts - this won’t beat you and this is the sort of man this ‘new woman’ is getting!!!! I mean really what a catch.. I would have put money on him paying her aswell tbh 😂😂😂

If - when - you meet a nice man op I hope you feel all the happiness in the world.
Stay strong. Freedom is coming!!!! xxxxx

I would set up a small hidden camera in my room that stores data and sends images to my phone. If he picked the lock I would use it against him.
i would also have two or three big brackets fitted to my door with key padlocks on though.
no way would I want him and her rummaging in my stuff.

It was in the curtain pole I believe. And the prawns were in date when she put them in!😌

OP's STBX can't keep her out - they both have an equal right to occupy the jointly owned marital home until it's sold.

I definitely think I'd be leaving my new man's boxers lying around (smaller waist size than your exs of course) with some matching lingerie for you, some mens toiletries dotted around the bathroom, different brand of condoms in the bathroom cabinet etc. Not obviously laid out like his, in the places they should be. Shirt and boxers on the airer, toiletries and condoms in the bathroom...

What immoral pond-life. I think I'd buy some over-the-counter treatment for crabs (permethrin cream, pyrethrins, or malathion) open the tube, make it look used and leave it somewhere the floozie can't fail to notice it. She'll see the old scuzz-bucket in a whole new light...😁

Do you have any other children? Can they to and stay in your room whilst your away? Are your grandkids old enough? Surely he won’t do that if they are present?

I’d be tempted to go the other way and kill them with kindness.
He is looking for a reaction and wanting to hurt you.
Leave a bottle of wine and some biscuits with a note saying you hope they have a lovely time and if they wouldn’t mind watering the plants:feed the cat/take in a parcel etc while you’re away you’d be very grateful etc..
Chances are he has told her you’re a complete psycho and abusive, what better way to make her question that?

Or she could set up a Ring doorbell in her locked room so that if he does break into it, she'll get an alert on her phone and she can shout at him, remotely, "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM!" 😂

I'd say your husband left the condoms and lube on the coffee table on purpose.

He may also be telling this woman that she is very welcome, and that when you're gone you don't mind if he has someone over. I'd bet this nastiness stems from him.