AIBU STBXH bringing his affair partner to my home when I’m on holiday.

[jamandscones]

I’m an older lady, long marriage (50 yrs) to a shit husband I should have divorced years ago. Cheating, abusive and a shit dad. Yes I’m weak, but I’ve been so worn down by it over the years. So the latest (the slag that broke this camels back) triggered divorce. Divorce in progress but will take months also will need to sell the house. I cannot afford to rent. He won’t move out. I am going on holiday with my daughter and he insists this woman can stay the week in my home. I have my own bedroom and will lock the door and put in a Ring camera. My home has photos of my children and grandchildren and my personal items

He is doing this to hurt me. His own solicitor was shocked and said she would not like it and it was ungentlemanly, but nothing I could do about it. I’ve already told the neighbours. I went away to family last weekend and she stayed here. She left condoms and lube on my coffee table.

He says he has the right as it’s half his house AIBU and more to the point anything I can do about it? She’s aware I don’t want her here.

He’s vile!

What do his children think of his behaviour?

Presumably though, he can't stop you from having your own friends over to stay whilst you're away.

I was ready to have a go because of your "slag" comment. Although I absolutely hate that word, this time I shall say nothing. They deserve eachother.

No you can't do anything to stop him. They are both scum and she will find out in time what an arsehole he is.

Hold your head up high and don't let him see that it bothers you. He is wanting a reaction so don't give him one. Keep your eyes on the prize - he will be gone from your life soon. If you have to speak to him at all, look at him with all the disgust that you would look at shit on your shoe. Because that's what he is.

By 'friends' I mean either some of your daughter's young attractive friends to make her feel insecure and jealous or a couple of large burley bikers.

I would also rub chilli peppers into the crotch of all his underwear. And maybe tip some purple hair dye in his shampoo bottle.
Finally I would give the toilet a good scrub with his toothbrush.

Oh OP he is just absolutely despicable. What a cruel and disrespectful way to behave to the mother of his children.

It’s useless to say not to give it thought as you’re obviously not in the place yet where you can do that, so allow yourself to feel whatever emotions you feel.

But rest assured OP, that however painful this feels right now, you will wake up someday very soon and joyfully realise that he’s no longer your problem to deal with and you’ll feel free. Because realistically no woman actually wants a man like that, and he’ll be the OW problem at that point, the shine will have worn off and they’ll see each other for what they are.

Push a few prawns under his mattress whilst he’s out! The stench as they decompose is horrendous - I know that because many years ago DD pushed one down the leg of her high chair. Kitchen cleaned top to bottom and couldn’t find the source. We cleaned the highchair still stank. DH eventually stripped it down and found the source 🤢🤢

Bastard.

"She left condoms and lube on my coffee table."

So the bitch is spraying on your territory. I'm sorry you've wasted the best part of your life on an arsehole. Thank God you're not wasting anymore of it on him. 🖤

Urgh. What a vile, disgusting excuse for a man he is. I hope he catches something from his new friend.
Absolutely remove anything of sentimental value.
One day this will all be over & life will be so much better for you. I hope that day comes soon.

I went to the solicitors with him, he is very deaf and I wanted to make sure he would agree to leaving something in trust for our son. The solicitor said while it is his house also it would be a very ungentleman thing to do.

Your ex has absolutely no class nor his 'girlfriend' what human would actually do this .....it's grim.

I would pack up my personal bits and pieces ......after all if house is going up for sale as part of divorce settlement this is something you will have to do sooner rather than later .

Keep your dignity and let them crack on with making clowns of themselves .

You owe him nothing .......not even your contempt 💐

Ugh what a low creaure he is, no morals, no decency and no respect and no self awereness

Daughter has cut ties, has been waiting to do so for a long time but has been amicable for my sake, son was set to receive 80% of his half of the house sale which won’t happen now, but as a gesture of good will said he will leave him 20k in trust, but even that he uses against me, every time I disagree with him he says he’s going to knock 5k off. So I have to keep him sweet. He was a shit parent especially to my son, who actually has ADHD, and was labelled as the naughty kid, all he wanted to do was beat him when he was young, I had to stop him on many occasions.

No ! This is the OP's home too.....

I can store my personal belongings at my daughters house, I’ll set up a camera so I can see if they do break into my bedroom even if I lock it I know he can pick the lock. But I suppose there’s not really anything else I can do. Let them play house and see how long it takes he to get bored of wiping his piss off the toilet seat and floor!

What a knob. I'm a bitch and would be peeing in the juice
Putting hair remover in the shampoo
Prawns hidden around his room
Leave some posh chocs laced with laxative laying around.

But definitely lock all your valuables away.

Do not stoop to revenge tactics.
Keep your dignity.
Make sure ALL the neighbours, friends, his/her (if possible) work colleagues know about his/her behaviour.
Try not to react in front of him.. you know he is scum, you also know he is going to be out of your life. Make sure your solicitor is on the case, get EVERYTHING you are entitled to.
I take it your daughter and any other family members (his side too) are aware.
This will pass. And you will be free, and he will still be scum. As will his floosie.

How very disrespectful and low.
Regarding said coffee table I would leave some STI testing kits on it.
Padlock your bedroom and any room you want him out of with a bracket.
Leave lots of bottles of bleach in all rooms like bathrooms
change wifi code/ netflix code etc
Switch off power at mains, take out fuses
Turn off water at stopcock
You cannot lock him out but by goodness you can make it as inconvenient for him as possible
What a git

I’d laugh at him for being shite in bed and her needing help to get things in in the first place. The Prick.

YANBU at all!! What even goes on in these people's minds?!

But as others have said - don't get mad, get even 😎I like @Growlybear83 suggestion of chilli in the lube, the dirty bastards. Not like they'll even ever know it's you.

What a despicable man! Are you sure you can’t manage to move out? I’m not sure it’s worth keeping him sweet over this money for you son, I don’t believe he’ll give him anything.

I've never seen that word used in an acceptable way... until today! Her and the STBXH too.

Yeah this would be my approach too 😬

I am not shocked at your husband being such a Twit, but I despair that another woman would intrude into your home this way, what happened to sisters solidarity. She deserves the twit.