To not send my children to school because I need to fly ?

[Paticake]

I have to fly tonight and my kids have been left with my mum, she lives two hours away. Is it ok that they don’t go to school or am I a terrible parent for picking work over the kids?

This makes you unreasonable. If you've already been away for weeks and their other parent has reached the point of suffering burnout then you don't go. You take emergency leave and care for your children!

The only purpose this thread serves is to cause an argument.

There are a few things here that don't stack up. If the children are too small to eg walk themselves to school, then of course they can't be looked after by someone in extreme psychological distress. So whoever is looking after them needs to come and look after them in their own home where they can be taken to school by the babysitter. If the babysitter cannot do that because they have commitments of their own, like going to work, then they can't look after children who are too young to look after themselves no matter where this takes place.

Two weeks is a lot of school to miss, and in this situation (I'm assuming reasonable financial resources with a job that requires the parent to be away for weeks at a time) an emergency nanny or similar is more appropriate than taking the children out of school for such a long time. Why has this possibility not been explored?

Why is the other parent in such distress that they cannot walk the kids to school and collect them, and why has nothing been put in place before this (childminder, emergency nanny, whatever) before this emergency happened?

Why can't the babysitter stay with the children in their own home where they can keep to a familiar routine, which would be of benefit with one parent absent and the other apparently unable to look after anyone possibly including themselves?

Why is the parent going away for work seemingly so out of touch with the situation that this has arisen as an emergency? Even parents who are away keep in touch with their kids and the other partner at home, and I have personal experience of this.

How old are the kids? If early primary as it sounds, does this mean they've been at home with someone unable to look after them for several weeks already?

I don't think any of this sounds OK on any level. Taking a child out of school for a holiday is very different from carting them two hours away because one of their parents is absent and the other unable to look after them.

I feel very sorry for these children, who seem to have no reliable carers and nobody looking out for their welfare on a daily basis.

The parent gets threatened with fines and court if they don't go to school. I don't get this thread at all it's a lot worse if the children don't go to school. The bottom line is getting as much money from it's citizens as possible.

I'll add, oil industry, men on rigs or working in middle east.
Construction, you'd be surprised how many Construction jobs involve travel, inc those on Nuclear Power stations, and other infrastructure projects, roads, powerlines, railways.
People who work on merchant ships bringing stuff to the UK

I'm sure there must be more

Get another job she can't do it if it means her children will be neglected. The LA will issue her a fine and possibly court action. She will most likely get a visit from SS to check on the welfare of her children. She needs to sort out her priorities and find work that fits around them. If she didn't want the responsibility of looking after children she shouldn't have had them.

Sometimes needs must, if the choice is travel or be made redundant then travel it is.

And it's not always worth while moving the family because the jobs only going to be a year or two.

So your children will be spending two weeks with your mum? And you’ve already been working away for weeks. Have the children been with their dad up until now? Being off school for a couple of days won’t hurt, but two weeks is completely different, and will you be working away in future? As others have said, can your mum come and stop with the children at your house? But long term you will surely need to find another solution work wise.

Getting another job can be easier said than done and takes time.
No guarantee this poster is salaried and able to take time of, for many no work = no pay.
So many in the UK are only a few pay checks from crisis.

I think he's a bit stuck now unless he can get kids and granny to his house nearer the school. Assuming Granny doesn't need to work too.

Op can they get to your house by train or worse case taxi?

Because they’re 2 hours away!!!

They will pay a hefty fine for each day they are not in school. I hope it's worth it. Granny better be a good liar when she calls the school tomorrow.

You do realise the op will be fined for each day they miss and threatend with prison if it continues?
This is a ridiculous situation to be in.

Its totally fine.

How old are your kids OP?

fwiw when I was a kid my sibling and I missed a few weeks of school because no relative was available to stay at our home and enable it whilst our parents were busy.

we were still primary age. We had a lovely time with our relatives but yes we missed several weeks of school.

we both have excellent careers now. So it didn’t stop us getting a good enough education.

needs must at the end of the day OP.

you must wonder if you are mad having a job which means you cannot be there so your kids miss school, when the other parent is too burnt out to deal with them.

depending what your role and situation is you may wish to consider taking unpaid parental leave next time. Or sick leave.

Hope everyone is ok and things work out.

or you can move closer to relatives in future.

take good care of you and yours.

Since when?
Even I was threatened once. When my daughter was off school sick for a week they emailed to say they would be coming to my house if she wasn't back in school on Monday. Two weeks is perfectly fine since when?

I have a friend whose husband was called away On Very Important Business with only a few days notice.

he could have been away for 12months. In the end it was only 9months. Phew.

Mum also has a very big job with long days and occasional travel.

thank goodness grandparents were available to basically move in for half the week every week for those 9 months.

paid Nannies can do so much but they cannot fill all the gaps. Especially if you are a Fairly normally paid family

The only way around this mess is to homeschool your children. Take them off the school register. Then they can't send you any fines or threaten prison. In the future when you need to go away you can leave a home education box of work books for granny to get on with. You can hire tutors. This short term option may be the best one for now until you and the other parent has sorted yourselfs out.

Some research / science / medical / academics. Granted, two weeks is too long for a conference, but you can't just reschedule being a keynote speaker.

I was obviously mistaken in my previous post.

You're basically saying your ex has had the kids for 2 weeks and found that too hard and now doesn't want to do another 2 weeks and/or doesn't want to accomodate your job travelling which seems to be very frequent. 2 weeks at a time, so half a month, except it would be almost a full month this time because you only got back at the weekend.

Can't say I'd be thrilled about it if I was the ex either. You need to find a job where you're not travelling as much and you need to share the parenting load and spend time with your kids.

There army is made up of much more than the soldiers.

Okay, call that a duplicate then. Let's add offshore to the list instead 🙄

Do not be sensible for goodness sake. This is unallowed.

Yes you can. Have done it. Sometimes life happens. Either you do your keynote remotely by video, or they go to a back up.

Can granny come to your home and stay there with the kids, to make sure they get to school each day? I really wouldn't care that much for one two week holiday with granny, but they can have something of that and still go to school.

I wouldn't be taking them to school in granny's place, unless in their home. Presume that's a four hour round trip? No way.

so important. so busy, lol.

This makes more sense. The op might work in the corporate world and travel a lot.

My partner worked in this world every year the fear of redundancies. He retrained in gas while he was working FOR THEM. He now works for himself and gets paid more money and he's at home a lot more. He doesn't work in the gas world he kept on reskilling until he found his niche. That's what the op needs to do it's all fair and well relying on working for someone but they can draw the carpet at anytime. Then the op is left to build the relationship with his family.