To not send my children to school because I need to fly ?

[Paticake]

I have to fly tonight and my kids have been left with my mum, she lives two hours away. Is it ok that they don’t go to school or am I a terrible parent for picking work over the kids?

So other parent is around to take them?
Why couldn't your mum stay at yours?
Are you planning on them just not going to school for 2 weeks? That's ridiculous if so

Yeah don't even think about how your kids haven't seen you in weeks and how their other parent is unable to take care of them. Off you pop to work again, palm them off on your mum and they can miss 2 weeks of school. Absolutely nothing wrong there at all 🙄

If someone who wasn't very well off took their kids out of school for a fortnight because say they couldn't afford travel to school then they'd be investigated for neglect. I sincerely hope op is subject to similar

Sounds like there’s a lot more to the story. If you are away for weeks on end is this contributing to ex’s burnout? Is your Mum likely to be able to manage your children for 2 weeks without even the respite of school? In the long term this set up seems untenable and unfair on all involved, especially the kids.

If you lose your job and house and end up in emergency accommodation, your kids will probably miss a lot of school too.

It's not ideal but needs must. Some people don't live in the real world, where sometimes it's a choice between two bad options and judgment needs to be exercised - cause harm to your kids' education or tank your job and their economic security.

What, you mean the poor man having to look after his own kids?

Why does no one ask single mothers if they're burnt out?

Burnout is just updated terminology for "exhaustion". As unpleasant and challenging as it is for the person experiencing it, it's not an excuse for failing to meet your child's basic needs. The other parent cannot abdicate all responsibility if it means their children aren't able to go to school. When I was suffering from severe PND and PTSD I still dragged myself out of bed to take my older DC to school. Sometimes this, along with keeping the baby alive, was all I managed to do with my day but it was non-negotiable. There are plenty of women who suffer from chronic pain, exhaustion, disability and serious illness who manage to get their children to school every day. If they genuinely can't manage this for an extended period of time, then there is more going on than being "burnt out" and the school should be making a referral to the relevant authorities to instigate support.

Yes, that’s a good point. But there are plenty of jobs that don’t require this type of travel and the OP should really consider changing roles.

Travel only works when you have a considerable support network

How can you think this is ok? Missing two weeks is a lot of school. You should have changed work plans or asked your mum to come and stay at yours. You can’t do a job like this without rock solid childcare, which involves your children not being disadvantaged. You could meet the ‘missing in education’ threshold, which school have a duty of care to report on because it is a safeguarding issue.

I want to know what your job is where you’re away for TWO WEEKS! I do a global marketing job and have never been away that long in the last 20 years!
Blimey and I guilt tripped myself over bringing a reception kid and a year 4 kid back from half term a day late! I think we need to know how much of an important t job you do. Why it’s so vital you’re away so long, and why your parents can’t watch them at your house.

And there are plenty of women, like me, suffering all you list who managed absolutely everything, until they didn't and genuinely did burn out.

I am strong as an ox, some of the things I've worked and parented through your toes would curl but when I hit burnout I genuinely couldn't function. I'd have been severely concerned about myself if I'd been capable for concern at the time. It's was horrific. Not exhaustion, not depression or anxiety or anything else, burnout was just, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. I was very sick as a child, missed many months and then adhoc weeks every year. I got a first class degree from a good university (+Masters and Prof qual). A couple of weeks of school absence is hardly going to impact their future.

This is ridiculous. You have left out so much vital information.

School and social care might, at the children disappearing for two weeks.

Oh come on. There are parents who do it all themselves, all of the time. Doesn’t matter how “burned out” they are. They have no choice but to get off their arses and get their kids to school.

For a Children Missing in Education referral to be activated the children would actually have to be missing, as in their whereabouts would have to be unknown. Assuming OP or other parent have communicated with school and let them know what's going on, they won't be classed as CME but the absence will be unauthorised and this will definitely be flagged up with the Designated Safeguarding Lead.

Who was taking them to school when you were away the previous few weeks ? Perhaps you need to get a Nanny or Au Pair
(still think it's a wind up though)

OP says only been back literally this weekend after already being away for WEEKS and is going away another 2 weeks. So that's seeing the kids for literally one overnight in over a month. Not even close to EOW which is usually bare fucking minimum for Disney parents.

No wonder the other parent is burnt out and refusing to keep them. They want OP to actually be a parent.

We don’t actually know if this is Mum or Dad posting, but from my POV it’s irrelevant, my DH would absolutely not work away for weeks on end leaving me to parent alone, he wouldn’t want to miss so much time with his family. So please do not spin my words and make assumptions. Regardless of who the burnt out parent is, this clearly is not working.

I suspect this is a reverse

I can think of many.

Pilots, cabin crew, soldiers, navy, army. The list goes on.

She may well have her own reasons for needing to be in her own house this week. This does seem to be a bit of a last minute emergency, OP can't necessarily expect her mother to drop everything for her.

Presumably OP will explain the reasons.

I agree with the changing roles, but that takes time and does not help with the immediate situation.

Agree, it's an odd post...Why does it say "I need to fly" rather than "I need to go away for work."

It sounds like the mum is suffering burnout because the kids dad is prioritising himself, work and not his kids. Same old same old.

Why isn't the grandparent stating with the kids so they can go to school?