17 year old SD made no effort for Father’s Day.

[ReginaaPhalangee]

AIBU to be pretty pissed off that my 17 year old step daughter, who we have 70/30 with her mum,
made no effort for Father’s Day again this year? She has a part time job and gets an allowance from her dad every month, but again, she claimed that she forgot about Father’s Day (despite, ironically working in a supermarket). I reminded her twice this week and she said she has no money left, so I gave her £20 to get a card and chocolates or anything she wanted to get for him.

shes Not working today and only got up an hour ago and said she forgot. I asked what she did with the money I gave her and she said she spent it on shein.

AIBU to be pissed off that no effort was made? Also AIBU to next year not even bother reminding her?

for context, DH co parents very well with her mum so it’s not like there’s issues there, but she’s 17 - surely she should be making an effort.

shes not even said happy Father’s Day to him.!

I would 'forget' her birthday. Oh, is it today? Sorry forgot.

I wouldn't be bothered that she made no effort for fathers day (we haven't since they stopped making cards at primary) but I'd be furious that she'd taken my money and spent it on herself when that wasn't what it was offered for.

TBH I’m a bit sick of reading on here that ‘all teens’ are self-obsessed/selfish/generally a nightmare.
Ours weren’t, and nor are/were the vast majority of others we know.

I suspect that ‘nightmare’ teens too often evolve from the sort of spoiled brats whose parents have allowed them to be rude, selfish and horrible almost from toddlerhood.

This is probably a clue that she doesn’t feel close to him. Maybe it’s a wake up that they might need to do more stuff together?

This is totally totally unacceptable. Even if you hadn't have given her the money, she can get a piece of paper and make a card, which costs nothing. Disgusting.

I can't believe that ANY poster is defending her. There is no excuse. At all. None.

All hell would break loose! But we would never do that.

Why not? Do as you would be done by.

And if the hell would come from her mother, well she might be more sympathetic if she doesn't get birthday or Mothers' Day cards when you don't remind DD.

"Ahh , no, you're kind SM but it's all a load of tosh really , I don;t want to buy into 'HallMark Cards Day' . I'll make him breakfast or something , that;ll be a nice treat but not card'n'chocolate stuff"

She has a P/T job , she didn't need the £20 and she certainly shouldn't have spent it on herself .

I would 'forget' her birthday. Oh, is it today? Sorry forgot.
Who would 'forget' her birthday?
The op? She hasn't done anything against her.
The dad. Seriously forget her birthday because she didn't get him a card for father's day?

I get it, some teens on here are wonderful, kind always thoughtful and generous but not all kids are the same and have had different lived expierences.

This teen has missed the mark this year but it doesn't make her a brat ,as she has been called and all the other stuff that has been suggested about her.
At worse she has been thoughtless and a bit selfish. I guarantee this attitude will change as she matures over the next couple of years.
So much angst over father's day!

She’s not a brat and some comments here are harsh on reflection.
as I stated earlier, we would never do that to her in terms of forgetting her birthday.
some comments here have been downright nasty and rude to me, and quite frankly, unwarranted.

As I said earlier, all comments noted.

next year she will be 18, so I won’t be reminding her, or micromanaging as another poster called it.

a LOT of double standards when it comes to step parents. One thread is “treat the kids as you would your own” then the next is “how dare you get involved, stay out of it”

nothing else to say on the matter.

Why post if you only want to see replies you agree with and then you flounce anyway.