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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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19
Yellowstickerstalker · 15/06/2025 00:16

SquashedMallow · 14/06/2025 23:51

You've worded your points really well and succinctly. I agree wholeheartedly with all of it. I hope people start listening to rational voices like yours.

I kind of agree, all communities have rogue people. However as most of us know the vast majority of the Pakistani community are good people and add lots of value to their communities and our country. Covering up or minimising these gangs actually harms all the good done by this community and enables the racists and their diatribes. There was a failure and squeamishness to tackle it properly in the way that it should have been. Ultimately enabling more covering up and adding to where we are now with vile rhetoric against the general muslim population and the real possibility of a Reform government, because they see this as ‘evidence’ and have politicised it. If it had been tackled decades ago, they wouldn’t be able to do this.

Fetaface · 15/06/2025 00:16

SquashedMallow · 15/06/2025 00:09

Rubbish. Utter rubbish.

Tell me you don't mix with other cultures without telling me you don't.

You just can't argue with the 'save the world ' types. You can't cancel out truths of other cultures just because you're frightened it might be perceived as "racist"

My sister is black and my partner is Indian! I also live in the NW in a culturally diverse area. My job is to work with families of such children. But yeah tell me again how just white girls were affected and white men who do this are held to account because they damn well are not.

It is not utter rubbish at all. Men in all cultures harm females for being female. If you think females are treated well in UK society by white british men then fuck me you must be holed up in your house. White British men wolf whistle at kids, we had page 3 girls who were 16 (kids) which men used to jizz over daily when eating their cornflakes, they grope girls in the street and treat them like meat. So please do not tell me the white british man respects females when literally it is about 10 years since they were drooling over naked children in the newspaper at the breakfast table.

That is the norm in UK culture. And maybe look up the definition of CSE and understand it if you do not see how it is victim blaming in its very wording.

Fetaface · 15/06/2025 00:21

SpottedDonkey · 15/06/2025 00:13

This is a nightmare for Labour and for Starmer.

Once again, they have made a disastrous misjudgement on an issue of massive public concern. And once again they have been forced into a humiliating u-turn.

Tens of thousands of defenceless white girls in mainly Labour run areas have been brutally exploited, raped and abused for decades by gangs of Pakistani Muslim men. Police, social services etc whose job it was to protect those children deliberately turned a blind eye because they were terrified of allegations of racism. And Labour engaged in years of denial & cover-up to protect its Muslim voter base. They were on the side of the abusers, not the victims for entirely cynical political reasons.

Just white girls? Nope it bloody well wasn't just white girls but clearly they are the only victims that matter.

You are turning a blind eye to victims who are from different cultures and have different ethnicities which is ironic.

pinkingshears · 15/06/2025 00:25

YouWillFindMeInTheGarden · 14/06/2025 19:42

I think there’s probably more grooming gangs waiting to be investigated….it will all come out soon

I agree. And LONG, LONG overdue.

ARichtGoodDram · 15/06/2025 00:37

SpottedDonkey · 15/06/2025 00:13

This is a nightmare for Labour and for Starmer.

Once again, they have made a disastrous misjudgement on an issue of massive public concern. And once again they have been forced into a humiliating u-turn.

Tens of thousands of defenceless white girls in mainly Labour run areas have been brutally exploited, raped and abused for decades by gangs of Pakistani Muslim men. Police, social services etc whose job it was to protect those children deliberately turned a blind eye because they were terrified of allegations of racism. And Labour engaged in years of denial & cover-up to protect its Muslim voter base. They were on the side of the abusers, not the victims for entirely cynical political reasons.

Its not a u-turn to audit the inquiry that has already been done and the decide to follow the recommendation to have another one.

Far more should be getting made of the fact that the Tories are calling on Labour for not having an enquiry sooner despite the fact they enacted none of the 20 recommendations from the previous one.

Shenmen · 15/06/2025 00:43

TildaSwan · 14/06/2025 19:39

Another u turn. Unbelievable. We were told repeatedly that it wasn't necessary, that the focus was on implementing the recommendations from the first inquiry. So, what's changed? Why now? And how on earth can the public have any faith whatsoever in what Labour say, when five minutes later they change course. It would be funny, except real victims lives are at stake here who are being tossed around and consistently denigrated. Absolutely Shameful.

I'm.not convinced you understand the term U-turn.
Whilst further investigation is good (and hopefully more prosecutions) the implementation of the next steps following the last report is more urgent. I also feel sorry for the women.who were abused who asked for this not to happen. It must be so hard. I hope they get all the support they need.

CuarloDeFonza · 15/06/2025 00:43

4 things come to mind:

  1. A panic strategy to deal with surge of votes for Reform and cut off their attack lines
  2. The outcome has to be potential to cause civil riots. (There are grooming gangs that are ethnically centred)
  3. The enquiry has to be balanced with all grooming gangs both white, brown, eastern European etc.
  4. It will cost a fortune and only report after the next election - I bet.
I do welcome it as long as the victims consent to further personal scrutiny and relive hellish experiences
Movingdream · 15/06/2025 00:49

Of course the majority of grooming gangs are white British men. The majority of the population is white British.

It’s still very alarming that other ethnicities make up something like 2% of the population but account for 20% of grooming gangs.

The white British grooming gangs deserve jailed and we pay to keep them there via our tax. Those men are our problem.

I don’t understand why we are paying tax to imprison (in this case they haven’t even faced prison, shocking) people who aren’t UK citizens? Should it not be deportation?

MiloMinderbinder925 · 15/06/2025 01:24

@Movingdream

I don’t understand why we are paying tax to imprison (in this case they haven’t even faced prison, shocking) people who aren’t UK citizens? Should it not be deportation?

If a foreigner commits a crime and gets a 1 year or more sentence, they're usually deported.

OpheliaWasntMad · 15/06/2025 08:32

CuarloDeFonza · 15/06/2025 00:43

4 things come to mind:

  1. A panic strategy to deal with surge of votes for Reform and cut off their attack lines
  2. The outcome has to be potential to cause civil riots. (There are grooming gangs that are ethnically centred)
  3. The enquiry has to be balanced with all grooming gangs both white, brown, eastern European etc.
  4. It will cost a fortune and only report after the next election - I bet.
I do welcome it as long as the victims consent to further personal scrutiny and relive hellish experiences

Point 3 I agree with point 3 . But I think the enquiry should be focused on sex grooming gangs. (The grooming of children for county lines activity etc is a separate problem. )

Point 2 - Ignoring the issue is also likely to create civil unrest. It’s the job of government to manage that - not shove it under the carpet

Point 1 - I don’t care if the government are only carrying out the enquiry to save their own political skin. As long as it happens and is transparent, detailed and accurate.

Your last point - the victims have strongly indicated they want justice. However- more important even than that - is the imperative to identify mistakes and make sure the mistakes are not repeated.

Genevieva · 15/06/2025 08:35

RafaistheKingofClay · 14/06/2025 19:45

They commissioned a report by an experienced cross bench peer into whether one was needed. Her initial response was that it wasn’t, now she has finished her report she says from what she’s seen there are good reasons to have one.

It’s not really a u turn, it’s responsible government.

Except they didn’t say they would decide after her work was complete. They were emphatic that it wasn’t necessary, said they would fund 5 local inquiries (10% of the towns and cities identified) and then withdrew the funds.

cumbriaisbest · 15/06/2025 08:56

12doublerolls · 14/06/2025 21:27

Tell that to the victims 🤦🏻‍♀️

I believe the victims told that to him. That's the point.

LadyKenya · 15/06/2025 09:05

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 14/06/2025 21:12

Waste of time and money.
Grenfell
Hillsborough
Blood scandal
Post office scandal

every single enquiry is pointless- no one is every held to account, they cost millions. We all know how grooming gangs came about, we all know the cultural coverup and motivations that allowed it to happen.

The Windrush Scandal included. Compensation has still not been paid out, in full, to all those people who were affected. It is a disgrace, and should never have happened in the first place.

SillyMillie90 · 15/06/2025 09:11

cumbriaisbest · 14/06/2025 21:10

Pointless. Pandering to the racists.

Nazir Afsal said it will retraumatise survivors.

It doesn’t matter what race they were it’s about protecting children and making sure this doesn’t happen again.

Children as young as 10 referred to as prostitutes and that authorities weren’t sure they could prove there was no consent. In children. Who can’t consent.

This needs to happen and new protective laws put in place so no child goes through this again.

PonyPatter44 · 15/06/2025 09:13

Maggie Oliver should be a significant part of the enquiry. She was the original whistle-blower, she kept on being a thorn in the side of the authorities until they acted. A lot of this stuff would not have come to light if it hadn't been for her. She's a proper hero when it comes to child protection.

SillyMillie90 · 15/06/2025 09:16

PonyPatter44 · 15/06/2025 09:13

Maggie Oliver should be a significant part of the enquiry. She was the original whistle-blower, she kept on being a thorn in the side of the authorities until they acted. A lot of this stuff would not have come to light if it hadn't been for her. She's a proper hero when it comes to child protection.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

SapatSea · 15/06/2025 09:35

Having an "inquiry" or a new one with a slightly different focus into a thorny issue is standard Government practice into kicking the can down the road whilst looking concerned about an issue. If too much time elapses between commissioning and delivery or implementation of recommendations, a fresh government can have a "new" inquiry and just keep the process going. Just two examples of this tactic are that most of the haemophiliacs ( or their relatives, since many victims are dead) from the 1970's and 80's infected blood scandal are still waiting for their "compensation." The Kincora Boys Home abuse scandal rumbles on after mutiple inquiries, allegedly involving top establishment men and a cover up despite almost 50 years of allegations and campaigning.

Starmer can now shelve the issue of the rape gangs and respond to questions with the answer that "the Inquiry team will respond in due course"...

swimsong · 15/06/2025 09:39

YABU and YANBU

Not necessary - but given how much shit the media and the far right are stirring up about the apparent lack of one big beautiful enquiry, the government is right to respond to the public's feelings, how uninformed and misinformed they are.

OpheliaWasntMad · 15/06/2025 10:02

swimsong · 15/06/2025 09:39

YABU and YANBU

Not necessary - but given how much shit the media and the far right are stirring up about the apparent lack of one big beautiful enquiry, the government is right to respond to the public's feelings, how uninformed and misinformed they are.

Blimey
It seems you blame the media / the far right and the ignorant general public rather than the authorities who turned a blind eye to the rapes of children and the perpetrators of the rapes?

OpheliaWasntMad · 15/06/2025 10:02

PonyPatter44 · 15/06/2025 09:13

Maggie Oliver should be a significant part of the enquiry. She was the original whistle-blower, she kept on being a thorn in the side of the authorities until they acted. A lot of this stuff would not have come to light if it hadn't been for her. She's a proper hero when it comes to child protection.

Absolutely

OpheliaWasntMad · 15/06/2025 10:03

SillyMillie90 · 15/06/2025 09:11

It doesn’t matter what race they were it’s about protecting children and making sure this doesn’t happen again.

Children as young as 10 referred to as prostitutes and that authorities weren’t sure they could prove there was no consent. In children. Who can’t consent.

This needs to happen and new protective laws put in place so no child goes through this again.

Exactly

saraclara · 15/06/2025 10:03

The elephant in the room is that we like to say 'not in our culture' but it bloody well is.

Exactly! Talk about looking the other way. There are people on this thread who are infuriated that I would shine a light on the very clear statistics that show that the large majority of offenders are white. They only want to talk about the offenders that they can 'other'.

ALL grooming gangs are evil. If we only focus on those from other cultures, it's leaving those girls who are victims of white men, in the lurch.

Hopefully this report will look into how different environments and cultures (including white ones) play into the causes of such gangs. Denying that white gangs exist of every bit as bad as the denial that enabled the Rotherham gangs.

EmpressOfTheThread · 15/06/2025 10:04

ThePieceHall · 14/06/2025 21:31

Maybe the female victims of the child rapists and sexual abusers can decide if they think an inquiry is warranted? How can it be pandering to racists to seek justice for children who were multiply raped and abused? Jeez, where is your humanity? Is it like, if your ethnicity or your skin colour is a certain shade, you can be excused answering for your sexual crimes against girls and women? How does Nazir Afsal know if it will retraumatise survivors? Has every single survivor been spoken to ascertain their views? Why not let the girls and women decide?

This. Why do the needs of women and girls always come below men's wishes, of whatever ethnicity?

EasternStandard · 15/06/2025 10:05

Genevieva · 15/06/2025 08:35

Except they didn’t say they would decide after her work was complete. They were emphatic that it wasn’t necessary, said they would fund 5 local inquiries (10% of the towns and cities identified) and then withdrew the funds.

It’s all the rhetoric that goes with Labour and from them before they u turn. Everyone is wrong for wanting one, loads of negative stuff lobbed at anyone asking for an inquiry.

EmpressOfTheThread · 15/06/2025 10:06

The stories from these vulnerable girls are absolutely horrific. Their treatment indefensible. Some have sadly, taken their own lives.
It's time for justice for these victims.

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