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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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19
MiloMinderbinder925 · 15/06/2025 20:42

OpheliaWasntMad · 15/06/2025 20:38

It is possible the abusers deliberately targeted white girls because they made judgements about their “morality “ and “virtue “ (since white working class girls who do not generally dress or behave as “modestly” as women from their culture. )

It's more likely that they were easy targets. These were sexual predators and paedophiles, I doubt they'd turn down opportunities due to skin colour.

OpheliaWasntMad · 15/06/2025 20:43

miraxxx · 15/06/2025 20:40

You can see why this particular kind of crime has been hidden away and not tackled for decades on end and why this particular inquiry is doomed to fail. The diversions and whattabouttery on this thread is itself ample evidence.
Here is a particular kind of sex crime with a particular profile of perpetrator and victim, patterns repeating over and over again over decades across many cities and towns in the UK. But it is all the "same kind" of misogyny and you are not to notice anything particular about this subset of crime - why the fuck not?

I agree. Some of the posters on here mirror the attitudes of the authorities who were blind to the patterns of abuse that were being repeated over and over.

Fetaface · 15/06/2025 20:43

miraxxx · 15/06/2025 20:40

You can see why this particular kind of crime has been hidden away and not tackled for decades on end and why this particular inquiry is doomed to fail. The diversions and whattabouttery on this thread is itself ample evidence.
Here is a particular kind of sex crime with a particular profile of perpetrator and victim, patterns repeating over and over again over decades across many cities and towns in the UK. But it is all the "same kind" of misogyny and you are not to notice anything particular about this subset of crime - why the fuck not?

Yes same kind of profile for perpetrators - men! And same pattern of profile for victims - female teens/preteens.

The pattern is men grooming girls. Absolutely people do not like to talk about these two things.

MrsSunshine2b · 15/06/2025 20:43

@Fetaface due to the fact your writing suggests English is a second language and your lack of knowledge about white British culture, I am wondering if you are from the Pakistani community yourself and are trying to protect your community? I can understand that motivation but it's really not helpful to the victims. If more of the wives/ sisters/ mothers of the perpetrators had spoken out and challenged this behaviour it might not have gone on as long as it has.

There are lots of white sex offenders. They are deplorable. They are shunned in British culture so much that they are kept on separate wings in prisons, because the other prisoners will kill them if they can.

This thread is about a very specific type of grooming gang. These gangs were/are composed nearly entirely of Pakistani men. It needs to be addressed that somehow large groups of men were working together to exploit children, with apparently no challenge from inside or outside their community.

If culture, fear of being labelled racist, or anything else related to ethnicity played a part in how it happened, we need to know.

With regards to white British men hating women, some do but it's not universal at all. Misogynist behaviour is illegal in workplaces here and socially unacceptable in any decent group of people. Your comment about men telling women how to dress- I've been told I should cover up once in my life. By a Pakistani man who thought it was acceptable to approach me on the street and then told my husband he should make me cover up! My white husband was disgusted and we both told him his behaviour was completely unacceptable in Britain.

miraxxx · 15/06/2025 20:45

Fetaface · 15/06/2025 20:38

What made them see brown girls as an easy target?

They were kaffir sluts? Ask Hindu and Sikh communities about how their girls were targetted.

OpheliaWasntMad · 15/06/2025 20:46

MiloMinderbinder925 · 15/06/2025 20:42

It's more likely that they were easy targets. These were sexual predators and paedophiles, I doubt they'd turn down opportunities due to skin colour.

You might be correct. I just want it all investigated. I just want an objective and transparent report that will tell the truth about how and why these girls were failed so terribly.
If race is an element I don’t want it covered up .
I want the whole thing out in the open .

Fetaface · 15/06/2025 20:49

MrsSunshine2b · 15/06/2025 20:43

@Fetaface due to the fact your writing suggests English is a second language and your lack of knowledge about white British culture, I am wondering if you are from the Pakistani community yourself and are trying to protect your community? I can understand that motivation but it's really not helpful to the victims. If more of the wives/ sisters/ mothers of the perpetrators had spoken out and challenged this behaviour it might not have gone on as long as it has.

There are lots of white sex offenders. They are deplorable. They are shunned in British culture so much that they are kept on separate wings in prisons, because the other prisoners will kill them if they can.

This thread is about a very specific type of grooming gang. These gangs were/are composed nearly entirely of Pakistani men. It needs to be addressed that somehow large groups of men were working together to exploit children, with apparently no challenge from inside or outside their community.

If culture, fear of being labelled racist, or anything else related to ethnicity played a part in how it happened, we need to know.

With regards to white British men hating women, some do but it's not universal at all. Misogynist behaviour is illegal in workplaces here and socially unacceptable in any decent group of people. Your comment about men telling women how to dress- I've been told I should cover up once in my life. By a Pakistani man who thought it was acceptable to approach me on the street and then told my husband he should make me cover up! My white husband was disgusted and we both told him his behaviour was completely unacceptable in Britain.

Nope I am white British but have a communication disability so by all means mock away.

You mean because I am calling men in my own community that you cannot believe a white person would do that and therefore I must be pakistani to focus on ensuring that ALL the rapists are held to account.

The white British sex offenders are largely let go because the CPS admit they do this to fudge data but hey that is derailling so cannot talk about that but you might want to look into it, most sex offenders who are white are not held to account. You are very much mistaken.

Nope the thread is about grooming gangs not just one kind or else you are supporting the others who you choose to ignore because you do not want to accept that it is men within your community and likely men you know.

So you've not seen the comments on school girls and their skirts then have you? Girls at 4 years old get told to cover up by putting shorts on under their skirts to control male behaviour.

Misogyny is socially acceptable and celebrated.

You say it is not helpful to victims yet you want to ignore most victims because they were victims of white rapists and that isn't what you want to hear about because that is ok, right?

miraxxx · 15/06/2025 20:51

Fetaface · 15/06/2025 18:51

Grand - so what are you diagnosing me with?

Dared to speak about white men disorder? Yeah you seem to have an issue with me saying that white men in the UK hate women and are not held to account and if anyone does they are labelled as mental which you just proved me correct.

This is not aggression sorry but you need to learn what that means if you think me disagreeing with you and calling you out as a liar is aggression! - you have no idea then clearly that me disputing that you are lying about me and falsely labelling me and acting as an abuser is not aggression.

Of course I will get defensive when you try and pretend I am mental to silence me and then pretend I am doing nothing all the while I have helped many many CSE victims so yes I will defend that.

I don't buy your bullshit for one second. Fuck off with your screeching.

Fetaface · 15/06/2025 20:52

miraxxx · 15/06/2025 20:45

They were kaffir sluts? Ask Hindu and Sikh communities about how their girls were targetted.

Exactly and on here people want to ignore that as it was ignored by society because they aren't the 'right colour victims'.

OpheliaWasntMad · 15/06/2025 20:54

Fetaface · 15/06/2025 20:52

Exactly and on here people want to ignore that as it was ignored by society because they aren't the 'right colour victims'.

What on earth are you talking about?
Surely the one thing we all agree on is that all girls should be protected from sexual abuse ?
Stop making ludicrous accusations of racism left, right and centre

miraxxx · 15/06/2025 20:55

Fetaface · 15/06/2025 20:52

Exactly and on here people want to ignore that as it was ignored by society because they aren't the 'right colour victims'.

On other threads, it has not discussed and not ignored because women who have direct experience of these events have recounted what they saw. But you are too busy protecting rapists based on SKIN colour - the number of times you have been screaming about white men this and that - and have not listened. You are very much part of the problem.

miraxxx · 15/06/2025 20:56

OpheliaWasntMad · 15/06/2025 20:54

What on earth are you talking about?
Surely the one thing we all agree on is that all girls should be protected from sexual abuse ?
Stop making ludicrous accusations of racism left, right and centre

It is a deliberate tactic to stop the discussion.

Fetaface · 15/06/2025 20:56

OpheliaWasntMad · 15/06/2025 20:54

What on earth are you talking about?
Surely the one thing we all agree on is that all girls should be protected from sexual abuse ?
Stop making ludicrous accusations of racism left, right and centre

You said I was wrong to say that earlier and called me mental for saying ALL victims of ALL perpetrators!

derxa · 15/06/2025 20:56

miraxxx · 15/06/2025 20:56

It is a deliberate tactic to stop the discussion.

Totally. I don’t get it.

fortheumpteenthtime · 15/06/2025 20:58

saraclara · 15/06/2025 17:11

Again, the vast majority of grooming gangs are white. But absolutely no-one is interested in addressing that, and why those gangs exist.

First of all, in a white country it's no surprise that the majority of grooming gangs are white. Do you know what the term "per capita" means? If so, you would understand that the issue is that Pakistani grooming gangs are massively overrepresented in grooming gang statistics in comparison to their numbers.

There are also no white grooming gangs who specifically target Pakistani girls, whereas these gangs were specifically targetting mostly vulnerable working-class white girls and some Hindu/Sikh girls (basically any non-Muslim) girls, so there seems to be a racist element to their actions (if you read the transcripts and evidence provided by some of the girls, there were multiple references to them being called "white" slags/whores/prostitutes etc.).

We should be addressing how we can protect vulnerable girls from grooming gangs of any ethnicity but sweeping the racial element under the table isn't going to help the actual victims of these gangs - the girls, and they must come first, however uncomfortable and damaging for Labour that may be.

OpheliaWasntMad · 15/06/2025 21:00

Fetaface · 15/06/2025 20:56

You said I was wrong to say that earlier and called me mental for saying ALL victims of ALL perpetrators!

Ive never called you mental feta face . I think you have misrepresented posters repeatedly and you have misinterpreted posts .
I disagree with you and find you overly aggressive but maybe you have good reasons for your over sensitivity

Fetaface · 15/06/2025 21:01

miraxxx · 15/06/2025 20:55

On other threads, it has not discussed and not ignored because women who have direct experience of these events have recounted what they saw. But you are too busy protecting rapists based on SKIN colour - the number of times you have been screaming about white men this and that - and have not listened. You are very much part of the problem.

Protecting them? I am calling them out and being labelled mental by you for doing so!

You are the one protecting them by calling me mental for speaking about ALL rapists and saying I shouldn't talk about white rapists?

I am not 'screaming' at all. I want them to be held to account and in me saying I want them to be held to account along with the brown perpetrators you are calling me a rape supporter?

So what part of holding ALL rapists to account no matter their skin colour makes it a problem and why do you call people mental who want ALL held to account?

Fetaface · 15/06/2025 21:03

OpheliaWasntMad · 15/06/2025 21:00

Ive never called you mental feta face . I think you have misrepresented posters repeatedly and you have misinterpreted posts .
I disagree with you and find you overly aggressive but maybe you have good reasons for your over sensitivity

Wrong person, my bad!

I am not aggressive. I am direct and blunt. I am pissed at being called mental for wanting ALL rapists held to account. I am pissed at being told that wanting ALL rapists held to account is supporting rapists. I am pissed at being told that wanting to support ALL victims is racist and helping rapists.

MiloMinderbinder925 · 15/06/2025 21:03

OpheliaWasntMad · 15/06/2025 20:46

You might be correct. I just want it all investigated. I just want an objective and transparent report that will tell the truth about how and why these girls were failed so terribly.
If race is an element I don’t want it covered up .
I want the whole thing out in the open .

Race was an element, that's already been explored and is common knowledge. The police didn't act partly because of racial tension. This has been known for some time and explored in several investigations.

These were vulnerable girls, predominantly from chaotic backgrounds who were let down by every agency meant to safeguard them. This has been happening for decades and is caused by people failing to safeguard. I'm sure a law was recommended making it illegal not to report sexual abuse.

However, what's the point in reporting if the police aren't going to act? There are many accounts of the police dismissing reports from staff as well as the girls. There's one account from a girl who was found drunk with several men and she was arrested. No professional curiosity about why she was with these men or joining up the dots.

We have a VAWAG crisis in the UK and women are being injured and killed because of misogyny and incompetence. What happened with the grooming gangs is a reflection of a much bigger, nationwide problem which was investigated in the 7 year Jay report. It found that child sexual abuse was an "epidemic".

Fetaface · 15/06/2025 21:04

miraxxx · 15/06/2025 20:56

It is a deliberate tactic to stop the discussion.

Nope it is to ensure discussion of ALL rapists which you claim to want but when someone mentions it you cry rape supporter and mental illness.

Fetaface · 15/06/2025 21:05

We have a VAWAG crisis in the UK and women are being injured and killed because of misogyny and incompetence. What happened with the grooming gangs is a reflection of a much bigger, nationwide problem which was investigated in the 7 year Jay report. It found that child sexual abuse was an "epidemic".

This with bells on! Agree completely with this. Sadly when I said this I was told it was fine that VAWG exists in the UK because we do not have to cover our faces and can go to school so we should be happy with our lot.

miraxxx · 15/06/2025 21:09

derxa · 15/06/2025 20:56

Totally. I don’t get it.

Some people look away from child rape because they want to protect their families from breaking up, others want to protect institutions that have great meaning to them, eg the church, yet others want to protect their ideology, their ideas of anti-racism and multiculturalism. All forget to centre the victims and the truth, no matter how unpalatable. The thing is that there are now victims/survivors who are now speaking up for themselves and I suggest we should listen to them.

Icanthinkformyselfthanks · 15/06/2025 21:11

cumbriaisbest · 14/06/2025 21:10

Pointless. Pandering to the racists.

Nazir Afsal said it will retraumatise survivors.

@cumbriaisbest , please will you explain how this is ‘pandering to racists’?

Fetaface · 15/06/2025 21:12

miraxxx · 15/06/2025 21:09

Some people look away from child rape because they want to protect their families from breaking up, others want to protect institutions that have great meaning to them, eg the church, yet others want to protect their ideology, their ideas of anti-racism and multiculturalism. All forget to centre the victims and the truth, no matter how unpalatable. The thing is that there are now victims/survivors who are now speaking up for themselves and I suggest we should listen to them.

Absolutely. It makes them uncomfortable usually because they feel they are looking for so called 'monsters' assuming these would be easy to spot in society and then when told they are amongst us then they do not want to know who it is. knowing these are family members etc.

They would rather turn a blind eye than actively help victims.

Fetaface · 15/06/2025 21:15

fortheumpteenthtime · 15/06/2025 20:58

First of all, in a white country it's no surprise that the majority of grooming gangs are white. Do you know what the term "per capita" means? If so, you would understand that the issue is that Pakistani grooming gangs are massively overrepresented in grooming gang statistics in comparison to their numbers.

There are also no white grooming gangs who specifically target Pakistani girls, whereas these gangs were specifically targetting mostly vulnerable working-class white girls and some Hindu/Sikh girls (basically any non-Muslim) girls, so there seems to be a racist element to their actions (if you read the transcripts and evidence provided by some of the girls, there were multiple references to them being called "white" slags/whores/prostitutes etc.).

We should be addressing how we can protect vulnerable girls from grooming gangs of any ethnicity but sweeping the racial element under the table isn't going to help the actual victims of these gangs - the girls, and they must come first, however uncomfortable and damaging for Labour that may be.

They also targeted muslim girls.