Puppy dilemma - it’s not her, it’s us

[neverwakeasleepingpuppy]

Brought home a gorgeous 2 month puppy two weeks ago; the kids wanted one for years, DP and I are mildly pro-dog, thought it’d be great for us as a family, everyone says they’re great, unconditional love blah blah.

Being fair, she’s a perfect puppy so far - quickly getting the crate and toilet training and is now sleeping through from 11-7am, minimal accidents in the house. Hard work but manageable.

We are the problem - despite her gorgeousness, we are all a little meh. DD2 seems to be allergic; puffy eyes and sneezing. The kids have zero interest - spent maybe 30mins with her since she landed. DP and I are enjoying her somewhat but also my OCD is going through the roof, googling amputees from dog licks etc.

Am interested to hear others views on this as I think it’s a case of it’s not her, it’s us …. the breeder is fine to take her back as she has a waiting list for an adorable puppy who is mostly trained! Just wondering if it’s fairer all around to do this?

this. No its not ideal but you aren't selling pup to a dogfighting ring to use as bait or dumping her in a skip. hand the puppy back ASAP, take the lesson and move on. Oh and don't DO NOT do it again

Neither do you sound very nice.

Get her back to the breeder as soon as you can. There is only a 16 week socialisation window for puppies where they learn how to socialise and get their confidence with all the new things they are experiencing. After that 16 week point if they haven’t been socialised properly/sufficiently they then need to be desensitised which is more difficult. Therefore please don’t put off your decision.

The puppy is harder work than you had anticipated and you are not enjoying dog ownership as much as you had hoped. You made an error of judgment, that's all. Let the puppy go back to the breeder and do not beat yourself up about it

Agree

It’s normal not to feel a bond with the dog immediately. It’s not a baby, there’s no instinctive connection. But you do have to want to spend the hours, make the effort, do the classes and include the dog in order to create that bond. Allergies are difficult to get past and I’d say your defeatist attitude might indicate that dog ownership isn’t for you. There’s nothing wrong with being cat people.

Ring the breeder straight away and let her go, you will be doing the right thing. Learn from this experience dog ownership is not for you, don’t ever get a dog again.

or no pet at all people....

I adored my girl from the moment I set eyes on her photo. I absolutely hated her when I was up at 2am for toilet breaks with her and I was exhausted. And when she became stubborn as she went into toddler stage, was teething and everything was fair game. Aka landshark stage! Now, she's a very elderly lady and I dread the day when we have to let her go.
I think you do make mistakes with your first pup. It's inevitable. If your heart doesn't melt when you cuddle them though, I'm not sure what will get you through the rough points.

Please never get another dog, poor thing

There should be a law to stop people like you owning animals 😡

Rehome as soon as you can. It’s not working for you as a family.

If only there was a law to stop you voicing your stupid opinions too.

It sounds like she’s a great puppy and despite you only being mildly pro dog you did try and prepare for dog ownership, you’ve also done all the right things since she arrived. There are ways you can control allergies (dander wipes for the pup etc) but at the end of the day she doesn’t have your hearts. She’s young enough to settle with a new family who will give her a good life and that is probably best all round. Sometimes things just don’t work out but it’s not for want of trying.

We got an puppy just over a month ago, my dream dog since I was about 8.
I spent the first week regretting it, hiding in the loo trying to not cry. The following week I kept trying to think of plausible reasons to give the dog back without me looking like a monster. I was dreading coming home, full of anxiety and to be honest, a lot of resentment that my husband was bonding with him so much better than me.
Then I didn't cry about it for 24 hours, then 48 and now it's been two weeks and he's properly settling with us, his training is going well, I'm not losing the will to live and I enjoy spending time with him! Just like childhood me knew she would. The puppy blues are a real thing!

Why so nasty?

Agree!

@neverwakeasleepingpuppy

some people don't feel 'besotted' 'in love''adoring' whatever you want to call it immediately, some people take a long time to feel that way.

maybe you would if you kept her, but maybe you wouldn't & to me, that's too big a risk to take for her.

At the moment she's still a very young puppy & you've done the early stages well for her. The breeder has families who would love to take her & give her her forever home. That's the kindest thing you can do for her now.

Even teens are ho claim to adore the dog generally don't have much time me for them as it's a stage of life to become independent & they focus on their friends & activities.

dog sitting was obviously a novelty, ownership is SO different.

i hope you can get help with your OCD.🤗

I have two cats adopted simultaneously. One I loved from the start, one who took a while to grow on me. It's fine.

Re allergies, give it longer than two weeks. I am allergic to most cats initially, but after a couple of months my body builds up the immune system/antibodies to deal with it.

Two weeks is so early. I think you should give her back because she deserves full commitment. But also, why do you expect to totally adore her after two weeks. I introduced cats a few months ago and it was hell. I didn't like many parts of it, but I was committed and it wasn't even a question. I did wonder at times whether I made the right decision for them, not for me.

Now a few months down the line and the work as eased and I sleep during the night again I see the personality of the new kitten and start to love it. It's all about bonding and it just takes time.

Don't waste any more time canvassing opinons and thinking about it - that is not fair on the puppy. You should return her tomorrow.

Do not even consider chatting it through with the kids.

Now I do think some are being unfair in this thread @neverwakeasleepingpuppy . You don’t sound like a horrible person and your situation doesn’t require you to be dragged into the town square to be pelted with rotten fruit.

But if you are questioning keeping your puppy this much I really would make your decision sooner than later. You said yourself there is a waiting list with the breeder and it’s not good for the puppy to bond with you and age only to be rehomed later. The wait and see approach suggested by some in this thread is only good if you learn to love your puppy. What happens if you don’t? That really would be a sad existence for your dog. Sure, I would expect you would perform all the necessary things for it, but it doesn’t sound like you’d show a lot of affection.

Exactly. Sometimes how you imagine how it is going to be doesn’t match the reality. The dog will be rehomed. It will not suffer from abandonment. Better to give the dog the best life than them muddling through

The kindest and best thing for the puppy is to return to the breeder asap , unless you feel that you would feel utterly heartbroken to never see her again.
You are not wrong by doing this , there are many people who get a dog , realise it's too much but keep the dog anyway and the dog doesn't always get the love and attention it deserves.
For me I feel that a dog is like a child and they are hard work and I have three large dogs aged 10 , 8 and 1.They are my world.I love them more than holidays , eating out , shopping.I love walking them and spoiling them and I spend alot of time in mud or in the vets and I wouldn't have it any other way.I have never regretted them for one minute ,ever .It is ok to return your puppy to the breeder but do it soon ,don't expect a refund.
To the lady who lost her dog recently, I am so sorry.

That poor, poor little dog 😢😡
We got a puppy at the end of April and he’s the most amazing thing to happen since DC was born, we love him to pieces! Puppies need love, cuddles and playing with. Lots of walkies (once they’ve had second injections obvs) and even more love.