Puppy dilemma - it’s not her, it’s us

[neverwakeasleepingpuppy]

Brought home a gorgeous 2 month puppy two weeks ago; the kids wanted one for years, DP and I are mildly pro-dog, thought it’d be great for us as a family, everyone says they’re great, unconditional love blah blah.

Being fair, she’s a perfect puppy so far - quickly getting the crate and toilet training and is now sleeping through from 11-7am, minimal accidents in the house. Hard work but manageable.

We are the problem - despite her gorgeousness, we are all a little meh. DD2 seems to be allergic; puffy eyes and sneezing. The kids have zero interest - spent maybe 30mins with her since she landed. DP and I are enjoying her somewhat but also my OCD is going through the roof, googling amputees from dog licks etc.

Am interested to hear others views on this as I think it’s a case of it’s not her, it’s us …. the breeder is fine to take her back as she has a waiting list for an adorable puppy who is mostly trained! Just wondering if it’s fairer all around to do this?

Please send her back the the breeder asap. Do not keep her in the hope you will feel more enthusiastic about her with time. If you are not utterly obsessed with her cuteness at the puppy stage you will be stressed by a 'teenage' dog and indifferent to her as an adult dog. The dog deserves better than that.

You made a mistake, that's OK, now you need to correct it for the sake of the dog

It's definitely not unusual.

Hey OP, it's no shame to hand the dog back if things aren't working out.

I'm so sorry other posters have been so mean about it, I think you're being brave and decisive.

It takes at least a year to settle a puppy and nurture them to relax and be comfy in your home; and that varies depending on the breed. It's ok if you now realise you can't do that.

If the breeder will take the pup back, I fully support you doing that x

I thought he was cute but he also turned my life upside down. It was a steep curve. Breed will have a lot to do with it. But it was a year before i stopped having the 'wish i hadnt done this' thoughts

It's not unusual at all - "puppy blues" are a genuine thing that people do warn you about. Bringing a puppy into your lives for the first time is a huge shock for most people.

Whether it’s unusual or not that puppy deserves someone who’s besotted with her.

About a year to feel real love for mine too. She was excellently cared for as a puppy so no need to feel sorry for her, I just didn’t feel real love/a bond with her until about a year old.

I think it’s brave to admit this and if you take her back to the breeder now you won’t have fucked up her life at all, she is still a cute little puppy and can go to someone else who will love her and be fine. If you kept her for 18 months, didn’t train her properly and then gave her to a rescue, then that would be the fuck up.

Dogs are a huge pain in the arse (as well as being wonderful companions!) and you have to really love them for the faff to be worth it.

I'm not gonna give you a hard time. You have admitted you have made a mistake and are going to rectify it hopefully. I agree you should give the pup back and give it a chance of a home where it is loved.

I’d take her back. You do get unconditional love from a dog but it takes work in the early months. If your heart isn’t in it, quit now. Never get a dog for the kids.

This ^^

I think as time goes on kids will spend even less time on the dog than they do during this new stage. As you got it for them it is a sign to say goodbye.
I think people should try and dogsit before they buy their own dogs and see how it goes first x

Wtaf.You don't get a dog if your "mildly pro dog"

I hadn’t used the term adore in my original post, just used it in follow on posts as people are using terms like adore, besotted, beloved, immediate unconditional love. I - very wrong it looks like - assumed that those kick in strongly after time, not day one.

What’s normal is to be absolutely besotted with your puppy while at the same time having moments of “what in the hell have I gotten myself into”.

Being ‘meh’ or indifferent is not normal and is not fair on the puppy.

I think it depends if being besotted has potential to grow or not!
It doesn't make you a better dog owner to be besotted from day one! Everyone is different and sometimes it takes time for the love to grow. And that's fine.

Very true. You’ve hit the nail on the head.

Give the puppy back to the breeder and don’t ever get another pet.

No people jumping to irrational conclusions are 'the worst'

Fuckin hell unless this is a wind up take her back NOW. It's not a doll to play with as and when, it's a real life sentient being which you've now allowed to become attached to you, that someone else could have spent time with, Jesus. And as a PP says, please don't ever get a pet again.

Send her back while she’s small and let another family take her. At least you’re honest.

What breed is she?

My puppy was excellently cared for. Trained, fed, played with, given plenty of physical affection, mental stimulation etc, taken on lovely walks, trips out with the family, taken to the seaside, on family holidays.
I wasn’t besotted with her though, not until about a year old.
What wasn’t fair on her?

I don’t think you’re unusual not to adore your puppy straight away-it’s normal for that bond to grow over time. I think though it sounds like having a puppy isn’t a good fit for your family and it’s important to be realistic about whether you’re going to be motivated to do all the training for 1 year or more. What does your OH think?

I don't know - I think sometimes feelings of overwhelm just take over, and you don't feel that "besotted" because you're so worried or on edge about the puppy and whether you've made the right decision.

Bringing a dog into your home is a huge lifestyle shock - being "besotted" with them doesn't necessarily make that any easier, sadly.