To dislike it when people shorten my child’s name?

[Sleepingqueen]

Before anyone has a go I know that this is trivial.

My child has a very common name that can easily be shortened. Imagine Thomas, Daniel, Oliver.

We don’t ever shorten his name, he doesn’t like it to be, it doesn’t suit him so we stick to his full name.

I know that people will always shorten it, but when family do it for some reason it irritates me. It feels like they’re referring to someone else.

I have a long name that can be shortened and it really doesn’t bother me because I’ve always shortened it, it just doesn’t suit ds.

Just get him to keep correcting them. My son only used the shortened version on his name so from being very young if someone called him Thomas he’d say ‘you can call me Tom’.

I’m surprised by all these replies as I really thought I’d be told to just get over myself.

I’ll be sure to make sure that ds know he can politely correct anyone who says his name wrong. Like I say it irritates me the most when family do it, knowing full well that we never call him the shortened version. It feels as though they’re talking about someone else.

I’m usually quite laid back about this kind of thing. Although there’s someone at work who keeps calling me something and it really makes me cringe.

So just say my name is Hannah, I’m fine if people say Han, but she keeps calling me Hanz. I don’t even know her that well. Yuck.

That shortening with a S or Z on the end, Hans, Toms, Eves, is new to me. And seemly everywhere. I dont care for it.

I have a friend with a Samuel, she doesn't like it when shortened to Sam. I do think it is inevitable that certain names - William, Benjamin, Thomas, Edward, Samuel will get shortened at some point. The parents should pick different names if they wish to avoid this.

My DM told my DB to ignore people until they used his correct name (again, his choice- she calls him by his full name, but isn’t fussed about other people asking as HE is happy).

She was called into a school meeting with the teacher and the head because he was ignoring them! She basically said ‘well you’re not using his name’ and that was that. It worked for family, too.

DB is late 30s now, is happy to go by the shortened version mostly, but prefers his full name.

Yes, but all the examples you give are short forms of longer names anyway.

Of course neither you or he are unreasonable. It's something that people do though, and if you have a name that can be shortened (and even if you don't) it'll happen.

Some people are naturally their full name, others seem to attract the short form. At best you can ask people not to.

Dd absolutely hated the somewhat twee-sounding shortened version of her name, but one teacher persisted in using it despite being asked not to.

OTOH a friend of hers was christened with a very common short version, and one teacher persisted in using the long version, despite repeatedly being told that it wasn’t, and never had been, her name. In the end she just had to stop answering to it.

Thank you for trying to understand. I think it was the fact that I do have an Oliver. Even though I said Ollie. So I wasn’t referring to her child. I did say ‘too’ but I was just trying to be nice in inane small chat. But for her to say no, it’s Oliver. It’s like yeah durr. My kids called Oliver too. Even if I shortened it. It felt pointed and unnecessary. A judgement more on the fact I use Ollie than that her child must be Oliver.

I find there are enough problems in life. So I don’t like to spend time with people who create problems. And someone taking umbrage with me saying ‘I have an Ollie too’ is just reflection on their temperament; let alone calling someone out on it is a red flag on character imo.

I think if they had said it nicely like you phrased it would have been less rude and been much better. But I still might have thought ‘this is entirely unnecessary information’ considering there’s a high chance we won’t meet/ talk again. What is the purpose really. As I said it felt more an affront on me shortening that them not. I can barely remember my own name in this baby stage so it just comes across as quite self important to think that I care or have the brain capacity to remember her child’s name let alone the allowed and unallowed iterations.

But then I am quite a relaxed person with these things. I have literally worked in jobs where people cannot remember my name at all even though I have worked there for years; elderly care. I have been called all sorts and it does not offend me. And I don’t correct them. I just want someone to feel comfortable and happy if they are interacting with me.

So yes new mums are not the same as those with age related memory loss 😂 but we do share some surprising similarities at times. And it’s not always the elderly. Family can also forget or rename you. People have there own stuff going on. So it’s not a big deal imo and what’s more important is how people feel when they walk away from interacting.

Thankfully they don't @Bushmillsbabe. Mine are adults now, and all of them have only ever gone by the names given to them, even with their friends. We did try a diminutive on DS2 when he was little, but it didn't stick.

Well, yes, because I just put names that sprang quickly to my mind. I was also trying to avoid giving the actual example in my head, which is a friend who only liked the shortened version of a name so registered her DC with that short name. Yet still people lengthen it.

Another friend called her child Mariam (not the actual name) yet people persisted in calling her Miriam, so much so that it clearly wasn’t that they misheard, it was a deliberate ‘you don’t know your own name’ vibe.

Thank you for trying to understand. I think it was the fact that I do have an Oliver. Even though I said Ollie. So I wasn’t referring to her child. I did say ‘too’ but I was just trying to be nice in inane small chat. But for her to say no, it’s Oliver. It’s like yeah durr. My kids called Oliver too. Even if I shortened it. It felt pointed and unnecessary. A judgement more on the fact I use Ollie than that her child must be Oliver.

I can’t imagine it was a judgement on your choice to use Ollie. Looking at this thread, I’d guess the woman had got fed up with people assuming her Oliver was an Ollie, and your use of “too” triggered her response. This thread has people basically saying they’re the same name, and everyone called Oliver should expect to be called Ollie, but many people aren’t and don’t like being called Ollie. So, I expect her slightly cool response to you was more to do with her previous experiences than you personally. I don’t think she was judging you for using Ollie for your son. She clearly thinks name preferences are good and to be respected.

Sorry folks, clicked on an old thread.