Would this piss you off? DP comment on day out

[JadeJ91]

Day out yesterday, historical seaside town with various lovely view points. DP a bit grumpy all day and not paying a lot of interest to anything. Anyway, at one particular location I asked him what he thought of the view and he said ‘not great really….hang on, it’s just got a lot better now’ just as an attractive woman walked past, and he joked about her bum being the highlight of his day so far.

A bit disrespectful, surely? I told him to shut up and he said I should lighten up and ‘have a laugh’

Oh come on. He’s a fucking adult. If he didn’t want to go he should have said ‘sorry that’s not my thing, how about we do x instead?’ Or, having decided to go to apparently ‘please’ her (I’m not sure how sulking and being stroppy is going to please anyone), he could have said ‘sorry I’m in a bad mood, it’s not your fault I’m just not feeling it today’. Instead he sulked, made the day miserable for everyone and topped it off with a lewd comment.
Honestly if apologising for men’s shitty behaviour makes you happy then crack on. It’s not for me.

I’d tell him, “If that was supposed to make me jealous or make me laugh, it did neither. It just made me think you come across as one of those awful pervs who have a lack of respect for both their partners and the women they leer at.”

It’s only funny if you’re an idiot of a man trying to impress other idiotic men.

Unbelievable Then the Op has to ask if his behaviour (which is disgusting and disrespectful to both women but especially Op) is, acceptable?! The amount of posts on here from women who are unable to identify bad or unacceptable behaviour are shocking.

Maybe he shouldn’t plan days out with his partner then? Do you think it would help if he were more direct? Something like ‘I hate going on shitty days out with jsut your shitty company and the only highlight is when I spot a nice ass in the crowd.’ He is pretty much telling her that anyway, so may as well say all of it out loud.

Was it said in a joking way.

How on earth are people telling you to leave a relationship on the basis of someone being moody then making a crass remark?!?!? This thread is nuts! Op he must be an Oscar winner if this was the first inkling you’ve had of him having that sense of humour, I have a friend and she makes those jokes about men since we’ve known her- it’s not something easily hidden!

Let's see.

Pissy mood on a planned day out sightseeing

Disrespectful comments to his live in partner about another woman's body

"typical man stuff e.g. toilet habits"

First, what is with this leaving the bathroom in a foul state is typical of men? No it isn't typical. It's an outlier and a sign that the man who does that is disrespectful of property and the person he expects to clean up his waste. I have to wonder who is raising these feral, dirty men? Parenting Fail!!!! Also a big red flag.

He feels sure enough of you to make disrespectful comments about another woman's body to you. He's not doing that to be nice, he's taking you down a peg so you feel insecure.

He made sure with his pissy mood to spoil your pleasure on a day out.

He's moved in and can't be bothered to act like a pleasant, fun partner any more. He's foul and disrespectful in multiple ways. This is what he is.

😱

I can't find the facepalm emoji. The scream will do.

I think it's fairly clear that he wasn't joking, and it isn't funny.

Bugger off, it sounds like she was trying to make conversation!

😂 sorry I'd have laughed at the timing but obviously he should know better about how to talk about women being with his own partner

Sorry if I missed it, but how long have you been together?

Deliberately trying to wind him up? By asking an innocuous question about the view and trying to get him to engage with their nice planned day out?

Ah but of course, she should have left the poor man alone, he’s too male and special to actually be decent and polite to a mere woman. It must be her fault, she pushed him over the edge with her deliberately antagonistic question. Any disrespect from him must be because of her.

Jesus Christ. 🤣

Probably because it’s the latest in a long line of disrespect he’s shown her since moving into her home.

It was clear he was bored and not enjoying it - why did she need to ask ? That is stirring

Can you imagine this post from the man’s perspective?

‘My partner and I arranged to spend a day at a seaside town, walking and looking at the views (with lunch in the middle and a drink in a nice bar planned for the afternoon). We’ve done this sort of thing before and enjoyed it so I can sort of see why she thought I might want to do it, but actually I’ve gone off days like this. Rather than tell her I wasn’t keen, I agreed to go along anyway but obviously was grumpy and sulky all day because I didn’t really want to go. Instead of leaving me to sulk, my partner kept trying to talk to me and engage me in conversation. When she asked me if I liked a particular view it tipped me over the edge and as there happened to be a fit woman walking past with nice tits I said ‘that’s the best view I’ve had all day’ while leering over at her. My partner got irrationally angry at this. WIBU to tell her to lighten up? She should have known to just leave me alone in silence all day while I sulked’.

Why did he go if he was just going to ruin the day by sulking?

Is it just me or does the number of male apologists/excusers on MN seem to have shot up lately?

Are they male or female?

Im guilty of this.
I dont do it to piss anyone off either its just a joke with my sister.
Like we will be looking at a filed or sea view etc.
And one of us will say something like its bit bland to look at.
Then if a nice good looking man walks past out of ear shot from us one of us no doubt will say wait the views getting better now.
We are only human at the end of the day.

Do you spend the whole day out with your sister sulking and refusing to engage with her too?

Of course not we have a laugh sometimes we are with friends and we are all the same.
Men and women will say it not all but some do.
No ill manners in it i dont see the problem tbh this thread is nuts.

That’s the point though. The OP’s partner spent the day sulking and only engaged with her to make the comment about the other woman. Not really comparable to your situation.

It’s not really the saying it, much more the thinking it. Yuck.

Well he could have appreciated the sight of an attractive woman and kept his private thoughts to himself but the fact he told you shows he has little respect for you and probably thinks in his mind that you’ve let yourself go and should be doing more to look like the attractive woman.

Not very nice of him and certainly not a laugh.

Well put! It all sounds very "mature"

i find it upsetting to think that children see this dynamic and then they grow up thinking this is how marriages work.

Both parents let them down