Open door for someone on crutches.

[WasherWoman25]

If you were sat in a waiting room (doctors surgery if relevant) and saw someone on crutches trying to get through a door, assuming no disability / injury yourself, would you stand up and open / hold the door for them?

If not, why not?

YABU - No I wouldn’t
YANBU - Yes, of course I would.

I’m on crutches at the middle, badly sprained ankle and knee. I went to the doctors today and had to go in the upstairs waiting room, which has a closed glass door. I through the door (in and out) four times in then end (went the wrong way once called to the nurses room). Each time there was a different person sat in the chair nearest the door, not one offered to help me, all just watched me try and keep the door open with one crutch and try and move. Now I don’t know that any of them didn’t have their own ailments going on, but all stood and walked independently when their name was called so unlikely they all did. If it was me, I’d have grabbed the door for anyone struggling coming through (wheelchair, pushchair, crutches etc).

Are you one of that group? Would you prefer that people ignore you until you ask or would you prefer "are you ok with that or can i give you a hand?" (followed up if you want a hand with "what would you like me to do?")

Because that's the approach i take, i wait, and then i offer if they want it. Is that also patronising? (genuine question, i don't want to patronise but i don't want people to struggle)

Vision impairment is very vague though isn’t it. Anyone who wears glasses is visual impairment. If you mean a blind person, then they are hardly going to able to read this or they?

Just last week I was at the doctors and a lady was leaving with a zimmer frame. I had my 1 year old in my arms. Did I leave her to struggle with the door? Hell no! I held it and the next one open for her.

I was brought up to be helpful and respectful and hope to always set that example for my son. I would always help someone rather than watch them struggle.

I would prefer people to wait until I ask them. I value my independence and if someone ask me if I want help they are pretty much saying I look as if I need it which can be quite demoralising. If you are long term disabled you adapt and can generally do things that a normally abled bodied person with a temporary injury wouldn't be able to do. Opening doors is always polite regardless if disability though.

Agree. I will ask.

For me personally, just ignore. I don’t talk for all disabled people of course. But most disabled people will ask for help if they need it. I find it patronising that people assume and ask if I need help just by looking at me, despite not asking for it.

It’s hard to ask if you are on the wrong side of the door though

I think basic manners - holding a door for someone on crutches, someone disabled, someone with a lot of baggage, seems to have been lost as people worry about the recipient assuming the act means they are considered lesser in sone way as opposed to someone with a specific problem at that point in time

if people could take less offence the world would be better. Instead of seeing an act as “patronising” see it as an act of “that looks hard and I can help make someone’s life a bit easier “

edit to add
I mean if you were on my side of the door I’d use some words

patronising would be assuming you had other problems because of the wheelchair for example - talking loadly and using a slightly sad face whilst saying “let me do that for you poor dear “

just opening a door should be something people routinely do for others

Blind people certainly do read online forums, it's interesting that you've kicked off about people getting your disability wrong and then made a silly comment like that

I'd agree with this. Young men seem, in the main, quite happy to help an older person. But younger women...? I know not why.

In a GP clinic, though, I think people have gone into the 'sick role' and so don't want anyone who's watching to think they are 'well'.

Oh you’re one of them🙄 no idea where you got that I kicked off about people getting my disability wrong, so again ableism. I said I don’t like people assuming what I’m capable of. I suggest you read my posts. If you’re registered blind, the most likely tool you’ll have is a JAW. So yes a very silly comment from you indeed.

I will always try and help and usually, depending on the situation, would say something like “ Can I help with that” or “Can I give you a hand with that” gives the other person the chance to say something like “ that would be great thank you” or “ no I’m fine thank you”. If the opportunity to ask the question is not there then I will err on the side of being helpful and run the small risk of it causing offence. I’ve been on crutches for a short time after a fracture and remember how difficult and exhausting it was, but even if I didn’t have first hand experience surely it’s just being aware and thoughtful that other folks may just need a bit of assistance from time to time.

I would always help in the circumstances you mention, it was obvious you were struggling.

I had an ankle injury last year and had to use a stick, and I found it made almost everyone really helpful, opening doors, standing aside, giving me room and not rushing past me. I'm sorry you've had such a bad experience.

What's "one of them"?🙄 I asked a question and you remarked rudely and ignorantly about it.There are MN users who are registered blind. I have a disabled child and sometimes I have definitely needed help, and I'd like very much to be asked because when your child is about to run into the road sometimes you don't have time to go looking for someone to ask. And people who post anonymously trying to make people feel shit about helping, are making everyone else's lives harder.

Charming

Of course disabled people, because that who you meant, should take less offence and not find things patronising 🙄 us disabled people don’t need pity.

And you don't speak for me or other disabled people. I can't relate at all to this attitude: "It’s also no one’s job to make your life easier"

Try reading my post again.

I clicked on another thread and was met by the same poster being equally obnoxious there on a completely different topic. Some people just enjoy upsetting people, and will argue any thread.

Yes, you're not the only guys to be on the receiving end x

Ah. I was getting that impression but thank you for confirming. I'll leave them to it (and continue being a decent human being!)

You have a child. So clearly they need help. I’m an adult. I don’t need help and if I did I would ask. I’m hardly running into roads I’m I? If you’re child is running into roads then they don’t have mobility issues do they? Disability comes in all forms, some more debilitating than others.

🤭🤭🤭 of course you did 🙄

You may or not have a disability, it's the Internet, you can say you're the prime minister, it doesn't make it true.

But you're clearly not a very nice person, so your opinions on how to treat others will be taken with that that in mind by anyone reading the thread.