Still in nappies at school

[ivehearditallthistime]

As the title says some children at 4-5 and 6 years old are going to school in nappies and are still not potty toilet trained.
I understand that some will and still have accidents at night and during the day.

But to have a child at that age still in nappies is just laziness.
It is not a teachers job to change nappies is it.
Ive just got back from my sisters whos son has a 4&5 year old still in nappies the school said he or the mum will have to come in school to change them as the teachers will not.

They now think this is all wrong and it is the teachers job.
And are removing both kids from school one does half day and going to home school.
I said no its your job stop being so f=ing lazy if home schooling is anything like your potty training good luck.

My eldest sister a teacher agrees with it and said this is happing more and more now.
A mum in her school has taken her child out of school because teachers will not change her childs nappy hes almost 6.
Said mum had a rant at the school because the school reported it to SS.

Dose anyone agree this is just lazy parenting now.

Yep.

My son's teacher has never changed him, two people are named on his intimate care plan and they are both TA's.

I do agree, I will say though my eldest child was an absolute nightmare for potty training. Like full on terrified of the toilet/potty. We tried so much, she did eventually do wee’s on the toilet from JUST before starting school but poos were always in a nappy (at home she wouldn’t go at school.) this continued for bloody ages (like into year 1, aged 6) until me and DH had done all the gentle parenting we could muster and just refused, we said she would have to poo on the toilet or in her pants. Thank god that worked and she has been fine since, I’m just saying it isn’t always shit parents who can’t be arsed, we literally done everything we could. But I know my child’s reaction wasn’t the norm/extreme.

100% lazy parenting unless additional needs involved.

I don't like in UK. Where I am, kids start kinder, which is within the year 1-6 school, at age 3. If they aren't out of nappies, the parents will be called to come and change their child, nappies and clothes if needed. That could happen numerous times a day, the teachers and LSAs will not do it, by law. And rightly so.

Lazy parenting, indeed. I also don’t understand how lockdown can be blamed for this?

It is quite ridiculous. My mother talked to me, aged 1, about how horrid nappies were and if I wanted to go to the loo, just say 'Potty, Mama'. That first night apparently I called for her and never looked back, so it can be done with some straight talking and reasoning.

I find it bizarre. My DS is in nappies but he's severely autistic. Both my DDs were potty trained by 2 and 1/2.
I worked in a nursery and we always encouraged parents to get their children potty trained before they started school and they virtually all did (unless SEN ). Do nurseries not encourage this anymore? I mean they shouldn't have to either but at least they are equipped to deal with accidents and potty training. A school is not .

There seems to be a trend in waiting until the child is ready; I think the parent needs to take control before the child is ready.
Mine were sitting on the potty before their bath and first thing in the morning as soon as they could sit unaided.
It meant they were used to the potty and gradually became used to doing a wee or poo in it.
They were both potty trained around 2.

Right?!

I mean I had SEND needs, and it took 30 years to diagnose me because teachers who "saw it everyday" didn't actually see it whenever my mum brought it up.

This thread as just made me think of my old neighbour from 7 year back.
She would clean her son`s bottom after he went to the toilet he was 8 at the time nappy at night.
No sen
I wonder if she still dose it.
She always had her head in her phone.

And he didn't think to ask a female member of staff to help,

My dgd was a lockdown baby. She was trained at 3.
My eldest was done by 2 and a half cos she couldn't do Playgroup until she was!

More and more schools have changing facilities now due to the rise of SEN children and inclusion within mainstream schools.

My son's school has changing facilities.

Just to add to my post, I understand 3 is quite young, but this how it is in my non-native country. Also, while neither of my children have additional needs, the second wasn't easy to potty train. It was a long struggle, and I almost hired someone to see us through the transition (since we worked full time and couldn't provide training all day), but like the flip of a switch, my daughter managed. We were lucky, but also worked very hard at it. There is no excuse.

Lockdown and SEN seems to be the excuse card for a lot of things.

My dd holds her ds over the toilet and he’s 3 months old.

dgd was toilet trained at 2

The ERIC guidelines suggest leaving a child in their own waste products whilst waiting for a parent to come and change them is tantamount to neglect.

Blaming covid still is nonsense. It is lazy parenting - unless of course the child has additional needs.

As others have said, this didn't happen years ago. Children were not allowed to start school till fully trained. Sure enough, they all were trained.

Sheer laziness, expecting teachers to potty train.

It’s difficult to pinpoint exactly why children are being potty trained later. Many PP have highlighted how terry nappies let the children feel wet/cold and were difficult to wash & dry. When I had my first DS I had a twin tub that had to be pulled out every day to wash the nappies. Certainly all that work and inconvenience was a highly motivating factor, but you’d think saving the expense of disposable/pull-ups would also be a motivating factor.
I worked in education for over 30 years, primarily in early years, and have also had 5 children of my own, across several decades.

I honestly believe there is a ‘window of opportunity’ when toddlers are able to become potty trained without too much difficulty, certainly in the day but not necessarily at night. If we miss this window, older toddlers/children can be less willing to be potty trained. They remain clean and dry in their pull-ups and don’t experience the sensation of being wet. I have advised parents/carers to put knickers/underpants on underneath their pull-up so that when they have done a wee they will feel it. In over 30 years, other than children with additional needs, I have found that children can reliably be clean and dry by 3, never mind 4.

I wouldn’t call it lazy parenting because most parents/carers want the best for their children and going to school in nappies doesn’t come into that category. I think people wait until their child is ‘ready’ and for some that works well and quickly, but we can see on this thread how many older 3 & 4 years old are unwilling to use the potty or toilet. I would always encourage people to start training the summer round about 2, for some that would be before 2 and for some it would be nearer 3. Good weather, running around without clothes on their bottoms so you and them can literally see the wee happening and catch it is a good way to start.
Sorry, this is a bit of an essay but I feel I could write a book on it!

I don't know the full details, but I'm a TA in a school and there's a 5yo still in nappies, he has additional needs and one of the TAs changes him

Right?

Blaming lockdown is mad since everyone was home with MORE time to dedicate to potty/toilet training...?!

It's lazy or unwillingness to ensure children do as they are told (sit on potty/toilet). There are, of course, children with special needs who may not learn to use the toilet properly/personal cleaning for many more years.

Majority of the time it's lazy parenting. I used to work in an SEN school and around 75% of our kids were toilet trained. My own son took almost 18 months (he does have some additional needs) yet we managed it and now is sorted before starting reception.

If you really worked in a SEN school, you should know how varied and complex some children are.

I could attempt to train my child for the rest of his life but it wouldn't work.

@Candyflosscrochet sounds quite a journey for your DS. I don't think it's children like your son that the OP is aimed at. I think it was aimed at parents that can't actually be arsed to train. From the sounds of it you have reached out for help and liaising with school and HV to crack it or to get help in place for September. I really hope the invention helps for him and he has a great time in Reception. My DS starts in September and I know a mum who has worked with school to get an EHCP in place for her daughter that has medication to help her to go. Mum is terrified that she will be judged in it despite her daughter actually having a medical condition.