Still in nappies at school

[ivehearditallthistime]

As the title says some children at 4-5 and 6 years old are going to school in nappies and are still not potty toilet trained.
I understand that some will and still have accidents at night and during the day.

But to have a child at that age still in nappies is just laziness.
It is not a teachers job to change nappies is it.
Ive just got back from my sisters whos son has a 4&5 year old still in nappies the school said he or the mum will have to come in school to change them as the teachers will not.

They now think this is all wrong and it is the teachers job.
And are removing both kids from school one does half day and going to home school.
I said no its your job stop being so f=ing lazy if home schooling is anything like your potty training good luck.

My eldest sister a teacher agrees with it and said this is happing more and more now.
A mum in her school has taken her child out of school because teachers will not change her childs nappy hes almost 6.
Said mum had a rant at the school because the school reported it to SS.

Dose anyone agree this is just lazy parenting now.

I really think some parents make it harder for themselves by waiting until they're Over 2, let alone 4!

Mine were 18 months and 19 months (1st was Completely trained in 3 days 2nd just under 2 weeks) I cannot imagine how hard it would have been at 2.5, there is no way my 2.5 year old would do it now 🤣

I did this too. Didn't really go out of the house for a week for each child. Did it in summer when they were about 2.5 years.

We worked in conjunction with the nursery when they were back.

I think it's a fine balance. I know several children who developed constipation/poo withholding issues well into school age which was attributed the stress of premature toilet training.

But how do we know if these children don’t have learning difficulties. Most children aren’t diagnosed until much older than 5 years old. People should just get on with their own lives, and stop crying over other people’s lives

Excuse you? What do you know about my apparent privilege? Or lack of?

My daughter spent 2 years catching up on her education after COVID. Because bin Malta, while I was at home, as a single parent, working, I didn't have time to teach her the pdf handouts sent from her useless teacher who couldn't be bothered to teach online via Zoom. Keeping in mind those handouts, she couldn't even read, due to her age

What I did have time for was to put her on a potty which took all of 2 mins every hour.

I agree, it was contributing factor. But not sole factor. I was also a single parent juggling work, home schooling where I could, but still managed to potty train.

Yes makes you wonder and I don’t agree with it

i found with my 3 around 2 worked

ydd observed Edd using toilet and was ready to start at 18 months

I’m not being mean by asking this I’m genuinely curious if there’s a reason why you didn’t start potty training until 2.5? I started at 16 months and was fully trained by 21 months but the accidents stopped outside of the house, by 18 months. Obviously I wasn’t expecting DD to be trained immediately at 16 months, that was the age we first began introducing the potty. The idea being that it became something she was already used to seeing & sitting on etc.
2 and a half is very late so I just wondered if there’s was a particular reason? In which case fair enough!

so there’s suddenly been an explosion of children with learning difficulties?
Why were the majority of children trained in days gone by?

Surely that's fairly simple? As multiple pp's have already said, children not potty trained simply just didn't used to go no matter what the reason, including any SEN and then would usually go to SEN schools or going further back, were just hidden away.

Now more children with SEN attend mainstream schools and schools aren't allowed to turn away children who aren't potty trained.

It's not really i can't remember what age I started my oldest as he's nearly ,19,but it was over two he would happily wee and poo in a potty but as soon as I dressed him he would wet himself, it clicked at just over three ,in the great scheme of things it's no biggie,he was toilet trained trained well before started nursery .

Btw, and to quote you...

'no baby and toddler groups, nurseries closed and every adult they met socially distanced or wearing a face mask for a couple of years. Missed HV and GP appointments. Normal social interactions completely disrupted.'

-none of these things have anything to do with potty training. I'd love to hear how you think an adult wearing a mask can impact potty training. Really, I'd love to hear that

Next...
'some were at home with parents who were also trying to wfh and hold jobs and businesses together of home school older kids.'

-Yes Hun, I was one of them.

I would love to hear more of your judgement though with regards to the privilege you assume I have. Go on babes.

DD was started just before 3 as it was summer and we could be more relaxed in the garden etc.Id hear that the closer to 3 the easier it is. I was a sahm then and the potty came everywhere- in the boot, back of the pushchair etc. Only took a week or two.
The other thing is that her nursery at 3 would not accept you if the child wasn’t dry. Has that changed? DD is now 24.

I don't think lockdown is an excuse, or working full time. I do think a lot of it is laziness or giving their children too much choice around the issue. 5 and 6 year olds going to school in nappies is ridiculous.

Lockdown was the perfect time as parents were home with kids more.

For those that think it's laziness
Do you really think it's fun changing the nappy of an older child and having to clean them up
Why would that be preferable to toilet training 🤔

It’s highly unlikely any one year old would understand that lol. Also years ago mothers stayed home with their children so had more free time

Well this is mumsnet they probably came out of the womb toilet trained...

I'll never understand that on threads like this.

Changing an older child isn't like changing a baby and their output is obviously nothing like a baby either. It's hard work and obviously not very pleasant.

If a child is capable of potty training, that's the easier option.

I remember that from when I was a 6th Yr volunteer, '77-'78.

I have several teacher friends and this is becoming more common. Not the whole class, but often a handful of children. Obviously they feel it's not their job.

20 years ago, our local primary insisted that children had to be out of nappies before starting school. I did get a bit stressed before DS1 started, worrying about him having 'accidents' and initially sent him in wearing pull ups, which was unnecessary. Of course, they had the odd accident in Reception class and were geared up to deal with it.

I am getting really angry at these threads. My son is suffering from encopresis - chronic constipation causing soiling, in our case also urinary incontinence. It is about the shittiest (excuse the pun) chronic childhood condition out there. It has no lobby - have you ever read about it, seen a documentary about it on TV? Probably not, but childhood diabetes / every conceivable childhood cancer / childhood whatever are covered. Not saying that these conditions don't deserve coverage, but nobody touches encopresis because of its mucky connotations.

And yes, we have tried everything - the medical route, complimentary therapies. At the moment, we are in a good place - accidents are becoming rarer and smaller, but not fully sorted. And yes, in infant school my son needed a lot of help - it is not what I wanted for him, but we were lucky to have had a school which understood this is a MEDICAL condition, in the same way Betty from his class (not her actual name) had type 1 diabetes and needed an insulin pump. Would you want to deny my son an education because of his condition?

Rant over.

For full disclosure: My first son was toilet trained at 3. No problems whatsoever. I tried everything with my No2 and now reward system, no consistency, no whatever helped because his body can't control his body functions - in the same way a Type 1 diabetic child can't produce insulin

Rant properly over now.

Our school said no nursery unless trained. (SEN aside). So parents sort it

Lol. I am a feckless modern parent so I toilet trained at... shock horror.. three and a half. Whereas apparently in the golden age of the past all children were trained at 18 months with just a firm talking too and no accidents ever again 🙄

Or maybe all kids are just different. I've taught for years and seen a v wide spectrum of toileting medical/ emotional issues. It's not down to parenting. My child will be ready by school age and that was all that mattered to me.

My nephew was the same @atriskacademic , down to the being toilet trained by 3 and his parents using star charts. He is in his 30s now. His school was helpful and supportive fortunately - small village school. I don't think that's what the OP is talking about