To not understand people who don't love food

[pastabest]

We had left over jersey royals from our tea tonight. And I overcooked (significantly) the marmalade ham I was making but it's created an amazing shredded ham thing when I've gone to try and slice it.

As I shredded the ham into an enamel tin to put in the fridge alongside the Jersey royals I was imagining all the delicious lunches I could make with them if I was WFH tomorrow.

We've got coleslaw, spicy beetroot salad, boiled eggs, lots of nice pickled stuff, a wide variety of salad stuff, houmous, all the cheeses etc and a massive herb garden. My mouth is drooling thinking about the possibilities.

Suggested to to DP who is at home tomorrow that he could have it if he wanted but if not I had plans for it for tea.

He looked at me like I was mad and said 'I'll probably just have a cheese sandwich and a packet of crisps like always'.

He is a food is fuel person and I just don't get it. I'm going to be going to sleep tonight dreaming of pulled ham hock with rosemary and garlic fried potatoes with a peashoot salad, a scattering of spicy beetroot and dollops of whipped feta covered in fresh chives , cherry tomatoes and cucumber with a sprinkling of seasalt and a nice zesty lemon based dressing of some sort.

I look in the fridge and I see endless possibilities, he looks in the fridge and finds the quickest and simplest route to being fed - enjoyment optional.

I'm with you I'm always planning my next meal in my head it really brightens my day. If I ever go out for a meal anywhere even if it's a regular place I will spend ages looking at the menu ahead of time deciding what I'm going to have. Food brings me a lot of joy.

I'm probably more like you when it comes to food, but we're all interested in/motivated by different things.

I was force-fed by my mother as a child. (Held my nose to force me to open my mouth and pushed food in). I was punished if I was sick or couldn't swallow it.

Food isn't enjoyable for me. It's highly stressful.

I’m with your DH. Some times I can’t even be arsed to make a sandwich and just eat cereal if I’m hungry. Unfortunately, it does mean I’m not the healthiest as I often go for the easiest option

You’re making my mouth water with those possibilities but I have to admit if it was me cooking I’d probably wind up making a cheese sandwich too. I love food but I’m an awful cook and when I’m in a hurry I always default to what’s easiest 🙃

Ha, this reminds me of a joke that my portuguese husband and his family make, 'What does a Portuguese person talk about during a meal? What they'll eat for the next meal.' You would fit right in 😉

Oh, how I understand you! Unfortunately I'm on a diet right now, but that's neither here nor there. Food is a source of great pleasure.

I’m with your husband too. I feel annoyed when I get hungry as it means I’m going to have to eat and it’s just another chore. I live alone and eat pretty much the same things every day so I don’t have to decide on what to buy or have.

I love food and cooking when I have the time too. I also have days where I just grab food for fuel, a sandwich, crisps or even a meal deal from Tesco 😬.

That is 100% incomprehensible. I can't think of any food I really love, there's food I like, food that is OK, food that is convenient.... I don't think I get hungry enough to start fantasising about food. If I'm really famished I just want the unpleasant hungry feeling gone. So crisps and a cheese sandwich is just fine by me. I also default to cereal or fruit if left to my own devices.

Interestingly DP has a similar experience.

Plates had to be cleared because there were children starving in Africa. Many nights spent staring at a cold plate of food not allowed to leave until he finished.

He gets no enjoyment from food, it's a daily task to be ticked off the mental to-do list.

My thread title was wrong, I do understand, I just find it sad for him that food doesn't bring him joy, but he doesn't actually care at all it seems!

Na that wouldn't appeal to me at all.

I'm "fussy" with food, people have moaned about it so many times I'm sick of hearing it. A lot of supposedly nice food just tastes awful to me. I'm only really passionate about chocolate

This is horrific. No wonder food is stressful. I’m so sorry this happened to you.

On hols in a hotel in Greece at the moment. They do roughly chopped new potatoes deep fried till a bit crispy, salted and a few herbs. They're absolutely delicious. Simple food, cooked well. I think we will have a big bowl tomorrow.

Like anything, some people are just more interested in the subject than others are.

I enjoy food but I don’t enjoy cooking and I find the subject very boring to talk about.

You have more than enough enthusiasm for the both of you reading your post. If you actually talk about it like that irl I'm not surprised he just goes for a sandwich it's a little bit overkill

I’m with your husband. Food is a chore and a faff.

OP your lunch sounds amazing!

I would say my main focus with food is the nutritional value I get from it - I will consider the protein, fat and carb combo of what I am eating and aim to get a wide variety of fruit and veg every day so I build my meals around that but I find I genuinely enjoy most things I eat. I do tend to eat the same meals over and over though, with slight variations

My OH is even worse than this. Although he doesnt just eat for fuel, he loves beige. Beige frozen 'things'.

Repulsive. All the lovely food I do is sort of dismissed, slight nose turned up. I dont cook nice food now because I cant eat all of it on my own and it would go to waste, he just wouldnt touch it.

@pastabestI loved reading your food plans, all the ingredients and the description. It’s so inspiring. Makes my mouth water.

I do love food but if I’m hungry I just grab anything to fill up. If I plan ahead my creations are better.

But I don’t think I’d be as inventive as you are. I guess that’s why we have tv chefs and books. For those of us who need inspo!

I'm like you. Unfortunately I'm significantly overweight and on Mounjaro, so all of this has gone for now.

@JohnnyLuLus

That's awful. I'm so sorry.

I have to say in my experience almost everyone I've come across who hasn't loved food or who has a "food as fuel" mentality either suffers from disordered eating/anorexia or has a problematic relationship with alcohol or has suffered from some childhood abuse. Often in combination.

Not everyone has to fantasise about food but I don't think its healthy to never derive any joy from it.

My husband is similar to you and honestly it is tiresome for me.

I like food, I enjoy food, but I don’t think about every meal like he does. He constantly asks me what I’m going to have for dinner every bloody day when I have yet to eat breakfast or not eating breakfast till near lunchtime because I’m doing the school run and trying to get everyone and myself out the door so we’re on time before they shut the gate. He knows I don’t plan meals like that but asks anyway and it is really so he can tell me what he is having and 9/10 I’m not going to fancy it

The foods he enjoys and the foods I enjoy are different. Some of what you describe I make some version of except for the ham, beetroot, and feta but I’m more of what do we have in the fridge and cupboards and I make whatever my mind comes up with unless I have a particular craving while DH does British comfort food, buys ready meals, or buys fast food.

oooh! sounds lovely!

One of our cats isnt food motivated. The other two cant understand him.