To not understand people who don't love food

[pastabest]

We had left over jersey royals from our tea tonight. And I overcooked (significantly) the marmalade ham I was making but it's created an amazing shredded ham thing when I've gone to try and slice it.

As I shredded the ham into an enamel tin to put in the fridge alongside the Jersey royals I was imagining all the delicious lunches I could make with them if I was WFH tomorrow.

We've got coleslaw, spicy beetroot salad, boiled eggs, lots of nice pickled stuff, a wide variety of salad stuff, houmous, all the cheeses etc and a massive herb garden. My mouth is drooling thinking about the possibilities.

Suggested to to DP who is at home tomorrow that he could have it if he wanted but if not I had plans for it for tea.

He looked at me like I was mad and said 'I'll probably just have a cheese sandwich and a packet of crisps like always'.

He is a food is fuel person and I just don't get it. I'm going to be going to sleep tonight dreaming of pulled ham hock with rosemary and garlic fried potatoes with a peashoot salad, a scattering of spicy beetroot and dollops of whipped feta covered in fresh chives , cherry tomatoes and cucumber with a sprinkling of seasalt and a nice zesty lemon based dressing of some sort.

I look in the fridge and I see endless possibilities, he looks in the fridge and finds the quickest and simplest route to being fed - enjoyment optional.

for me this isn't food noise, food noise is where you are compelled to binge eat even though you are not hungry.

I love food, cooking it, planning what to eat, even shopping for it. It probably helps that DH and I both love food and so cook together every evening, its a real shared love.

No not really. There's a planning element to it but it's also just want. You want it. Even if it's something that will make you feel sick. Like a craving but constant and can be non-specific. I am not overweight but had an eating disorder in my teens and think about food constantly. Plan my meals, think about recipes, I'm having a takeaway this weekend as I have the house to myself and been thinking all week about what I'll have. If there's biscuits or something on the table in a work meeting I literally can't concentrate on anything until I've had one. Food noise is very real and I'm jealous that some people don't have it!

I especially don't understand the craze for hot sauce. Some slather it over everything.

I put a spoonful of cherry harissa paste on my cottage cheese salad, but keep it away from asparagus etc., or everything else on the plate would taste of harissa.

I live alone and I still cook lovely things. If I can’t eat it all now I’ll either freeze it for another day or keep it in the fridge for tomorrow. I’ve also got much better at reducing quantities, so food that won’t freeze or reheat well (or won’t work cold) I can make one portion fairly successfully.
Don't stop eating nice food because it’s just you!

This sounds more like a hobby: a shared interest, like Dungeons and Dragons (!), less about the consumption of the end product than the process which includes exchanging ideas and planning and interaction with another person. I do have the odd conversation with people about the mechanics of cooking, or new ingredients I've discovered, but they're rarely and very factual!

This is quite different to the other poster. The language you're using makes it sound a bit like an addiction: craving, even if it makes you feel sick. Constant craving. Non-specific. It sounds like a nebulous NEED for something, a fix or hit, you don't care how you get it, you need it. Not being able to concentrate until you have one of the meeting-room biscuits sounds like the need is bigger than anything else (or at least your work!). That's basically an addiction. Wow. Thanks for this explanation, it's really interesting to know.

If you don't mind my asking - please feel free to not reply if you'd rather not think about it! - do you think the eating disorder triggered this addiction, or was the addiction always there? It sounds like something hard-wired in your body (is it brain? is it gut? both, maybe?). I'm sorry you had to go through that, teenage years are bad enough as it is.

I'm in the toddler trenches, when pasta and cheese are beige food are life! Despite all my efforts.

This is me too. Must have my meals in a timely manner. They must be nice. And plentiful. Otherwise I can get very sulky and cross. It's not a nice trait. But in my own defence, food is the only thing that makes this way.

It doesn't have to be gourmet. But it must be fresh, good ingredients, and tasty. It can be very simple, nice bread, salad, cheese.

I just had to try and keep a straight face when my boss was saying that I must make time to eat lunch in between meetings... Yeah, that's really not going to be an issue for me

Not always the case.
My ex found no joy in food at all (ASD) and hated so many foods. I wasn't allowed to cook, wouldn't try anything new, ate the exact same meal out whether we were in a fancy restaurant or a chain pub.
Her diet was so so restrictive, but also unhealthy. She was overweight then and is more so now, as most of the foods she'll eat are fatty/unhealthy and her food issues mean she cannot veer from that even slightly.
Didn't have anything 'more interesting to talk about' either unfortunately. A major factor in us breaking up. I did love her but I was rather bored over time.

Yes, my face when someone says that they forgot to eat. I mean, did they forget to breathe too? :-)

Isn't a 'wang' a penis?

I don't know-most of my partners haev really appreciated my cooking, in the past. I am quite sad that I do not get to do it and haven't for some years now!

I used to be like you op but over the last few years I am becoming more and more like your dp. I have lost interest in food. I used to be great at experimenting. Looking up ideas for new dishes to make etc.

Now I am eat when I am hungry and just make something simple.

I'm with you ... and I'm coming round!

I'm with you OP. I love food. I enjoy looking in recipe books and websites as to what I can try next. I love cooking for my partner and me. Luckily we're both adventurous with food and talk extensively about what we want to try next. What we enjoy. What we've eaten on holidays in the past or as children ect. We never get up and think what's for tea tonight. We have it planned. And yes I go to bed thinking about food. In fact, reading this in bed last night made me so hungry I went down and made a sandwich with the left over chicken from last night's meal. I'm slim. 7 and half stone and nearly 5'2" so not a glutton but I do like good food. Tonight is delicious lamb steaks with garlic and oregano roasted corgettes, peppers, mushrooms and red onion and crispy smashed potatoes. Delicious. I'm so excited 😆

This has made me realise I think about food probably way too much. DH cooked roast lamb the other night. Tonight he's making some Moroccan thing with the leftovers. Already feel too hungry to wait that long. If I'm not making food, I'm probably thinking about it...

I am one of those ppl who can’t think about food when I am not hungry/ happy to not eat when going for brunch (if in a group) as I don’t get hungry until around 2pm and could quite happily eat my fave food forever - hate ppl cooking for me or surprise food (as in going out for food and I can’t see the menu before)

however- when I am hungry I love love love food - but then the indecision and faff around cooking puts me off my hunger so I love picky bits iyswim

Ive always been hungrier later in the day but I think a lot of this has to do with adhd meds

Yes I certainly think the eating disorder triggered the obsession with food and planning. I think I will have to track calories my whole life, even though I've done a lot of psychological work on my relationship with food and a lot of learning about nutrition, including spending a lot to money on a private nutritionist for a time.

The freezer is full of my batch cooking so I work through it and then start again.

Thanks for the reply. I’m so sorry to hear this. Somehow with food is extra cruel because you can’t do without it: it’s not like alcohol or drugs. It must take a lot of time, as well as all your other resources. I hope one day it fades away, or lessens, at least the thing that triggered the eating disorder in the first place. What a blight. Good luck to you

To me this isn’t good noise. I’m like the OP and will often day dream of the things I will make for tea and mentally put meals together from what I have in the fridge. I love thinking about food.

thats doesnt mean that I want to stuff down a whole packet of biscuits. I don’t tend to over eat really as I don’t like feeling stuffed. But I do love to enjoy nice food and drink and enjoy cooking and making up recipes.

food noise to me is when you’re compelled to binge and over eat, doesn’t need to even be nice stuff. Just anything you can get down you.

I would love to eat what you described but would never create it in a hundred years. Partly because we are a very small household and half the things you describe would be off or out of date in a couple of days.
How do you keep a varied fridge of possibilities when there's just one or two of you?

Food doesn’t give me joy, it’s a necessary to survive. I can read a whole menu when eating out and not fancy a thing on it.
I don’t enjoy cooking or prepping food. Recently my husband was away for a week, the best bit was I didn’t have to think about food for us, I’m quite happy with cheesy chips or a bowl of porridge. I’d much sooner do something else and the kitchen isn’t my favourite place.

I don’t have an eating disorder, I’m a healthy weight and no mental health problems. I do have an overweight mother who never shuts up about food or is yet again baking, or shoving packets of sweets down the sides of the sofa, perhaps that’s why I find it all boring 🤷‍♀️

I'm sorry you went through that too.