To ask how to resolve this!

[Singleee]

So, both kids go to their dads on a Sunday to sleep over, I prepare all uniform etc but it is getting really frustrating as the uniform never comes back. I also know he wouldn’t wash it (he has no washing facilities) so I don’t mind ensuring they look presentable for school but o am now scrimping for uniform. He has 2 lots of PE kits too. I can’t just keep buying more so what do I do. I wanted him to stop the school nights for this reason but obviously weekends are too special for his social life and won’t sacrifice them for his kids. Any ideas?

You don’t feel the same though.

You were the one who displayed strength and walked away from the relationship when it wasn’t working for you. That’s why you feel relief.

You need to find that strength again and get some real boundaries put in place and nip this shit in the bud. The more he gets away with the more he’ll push to make your life uncomfortable as punishment for leaving him.

i will see how the mediation appointment goes and go from there as this cannot carry on. He controls my life still and we aren’t even together.

He spends his money on festivals and holidays and I spend mine on new weekly uniform, slightly unbalanced

To keep his ego inflated, he thinks he’s gods gift and everyone wants him, including you. He’s completely deluded, when you ring him to ask about the uniforms, he tries to make you feel embarrassed, as though you are hassling him in order to make you back off. He’s enjoying this.

I wouldn’t blame yourself you sound like you’re a good mum and I’m sure you don’t regret these 2 kids you weren’t to know he would turn out to be an arsehole. It just winds me up when I see these posts where men think they can pick and choose when to be a dad to their children. he is very selfish but abusive too he calls you names but is choosing to create crap for you to chase him on. That’s still controlling behaviour maybe a court order would be best he says he can’t have kids at weekends but he chooses this because your being a good mum and having them. He wants his freedom and wants to look like a good dad but he’s not he absolutely a shitty dad. He is supposed to protect and provide for his kids he’s just a waste of space I’m sure if you moved and not told him where you lived there would be murder. I hope you don’t plan on buying him a Father’s Day card or gift.

No I won’t be doing anything for him for Father’s Day. He did nothing for me, obviously he got his new girlfriend something which is fine but I found it a bit offensive

My daughter fell of her bike yesterday and really wanted to tell her dad about it but every time she rang he never answered his phone. It’s so sad.

Your ex is a selfish dad. I would make notes of all these issues in case you ever need them for a court case. part time dad can fuck off he’s a joke. He definitely doesn’t care much for his kids when there not with him god knows what he’s like when he does have them. I feel for you there are going to be many more years of this crap.

It really is pathetic and it breaks my heart as there is nothing I can do to fix it where as other things I can. I can’t control what another person does.

He won’t even have them for one Friday a month,
that is just spiteful for no reason!

I don’t want them to go if he doesn’t want them.

Is this court mandated access? If not, just don’t send them. Say he can see them at weekends, or on the days he wants as soon he starts returns all the uniform he has and continues to do so each week.

Or send them in nothing (get some cheap charity shop clothes just to go to his in), he then has to use “his” pe kit. If it’s creased that makes him look bad, not you. And then one uniform for the Tuesday. Tell him to keep hold of the PE kit he has.

This is beyond carelessness. He’s doing this to cause you issues.

Unfortunately you can’t, which is what he wants. can you get any legal advice some solicitors offer a free hour. I know you don’t want to do anything bad for your kids sake but he’s not really acting like a father who cares for his kids. Can you keep them at home if one doesn’t want to go? Or do you need some me time when he has them. It’s an awful situation to be in. Maybe text him important stuff then if he doesn’t bother replying you can use this against him. Most normal parents would have returned the call if they genuinely couldn’t answer but it’s like he’s deliberately going out of his way to make things harder for you. He’s not considering his kids feelings at all.