Children are a lifestyle choice

[Seriouslywhatnow]

I've actually lost count of the times I've read this on Mumsnet. Posters saying things like "I don't want to have to pay towards little Jonny's education/ food / maternity care. People should t have kids they can't afford"
It's like they can't see that these children are actually PEOPLE. in their own right. And you're not paying for their education as a favour to their "feckless" -it's always "feckless" - parents but FOR THE CHILD. Just like your education /maternity care / whatever was paid for by others as well.
So many people seem to see kids as just an accessory or possession for their parents, and actually like they were never kids themselves so shouldn't have to pay towards other kids. AIBU?

Most people do? How did you get to this conclusion, and can you show some figures.

I do agree with this. Selfish is an insult often thrown at the childfree, yet you read threads on here of people bringing kids into horrendous situations and it is usually pages and pages of 'support'. "If you want a baby, go for it". There is never any thought to the actual person that would be born into these grim situations, it is always about the wants of the mother.

They are definitely a lifestyle choice, one that I have chosen to avoid. However I have no problem paying towards other people's children and don't understand that logic. Firstly I was a child once myself and secondly I benefit from all the goods and services provided by other people, who are all other people's adult children. If some individuals choose to have a large number of children that's ok too as some people don't have any. The birthrate has been below replacement level for decades. They aren't increasing the population, they're having the children lots of us don't want to have, they're taking the pressure off. Raising children is a vitally important part of a functioning society. It's undervalued as everything done by women is.

People should definitely try to be in a good financial position before choosing to have children because it's better for the child but also better for society.

The vast majority do hence why birth rates are so low.

Previous generations were far more likely to have dc that they couldn't afford.

Anyway given we have an overcrowded island and we're destroying the planet, having any more than two children deliberately is a deeply irresponsible thing to do.

But not everyone is having 2dc & from an economic perspective if you want to reduce a population you need more youth & less old.

With 8 billion people in the world I don't think we're in danger of going short any time soon.

It is, if they can't afford them.

Well I can assure they can. A few of my neighbours do.

Just like your education /maternity care / whatever was paid for by others as well.

The difference is that none of us chose to be born.

You make very strict and difficult rules for the parents, they will think twice and not have children they can't afford.

Do people actually look up birth rates before stating the above nonsense.

It all changed when we gained the ability to control our fertility.

I believe it’s something like one and three pregnancies are an accident.
There’s just absolutely no excuse for it these days I have never Had an accidental pregnancy ever.
I fucked up, Got pregnant And had to deal with the consequences. But there was nothing accidental about it

Well yes that's exactly my point as to why "lifestyle choice" is a shitty reason to complain about paying for kids needs. It's for THEM not their parents.

Of course having children is a lifestyle choice.

What else could it be? No-one has DC to do their civic duty!!

If it was for them, we would have boarding schools for children, Everybody would have an equal opportunity at education, housing food, healthcare
But it’s not it’s put into the hands of the parents for them to control as they see Fit.
Some of them spend it on the children some of them don’t

We have legalised birth control/contraception and abortion. Therefore children are a lifestyle choice. Nobody is forced to have children. This really wasn't the case in the past, but it is now.

With 8billion people the species will be fine. However, we need children so that someone pays into our pension pot and to keep the economy going.

Also, regarding taxation none of us take out more from the system that we put in. There will always be people paying for things they don't need, use or want. That's the whole point of taxation. It's too pay for stuff that wouldn't be affordable if only the people who actively wanted it had to fund it on their own.

The country is not in the economic dire straits that it is in due to feckless people having too many dc...

We need to reproduce Yanbu.

Also, regarding taxation none of us take out more from the system that we put in.

I'd argue the majority take out more than what's gone in....

If we don’t reproduce our species dies.

I find it interesting that people have evolved to truly want termination of their own genetic line by not having a maternal or paternal interest.

The species won't die out but much of the West will have a lower standard of living.

Yes, because everyone knows all the financial details of their neighbours. It is an old and tired trope on here. Give it a rest.

Having said that I don't think anybody has children because it benefits society, the economy or the planet. Most parents have kids because they want to and most people want kids because humans have obviously evolved to have a strong urge to procreate in general.

So yes, in a way I agree that it's a lifestyle choice and a purely selfish one but that doesn't mean that it's wrong or we should stop having kids or that kids aren't good for society or the economy or thst society should not assist with raising them