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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

at 35 I want to retire

399 replies

Oranges836 · 10/06/2025 14:12

Changed name for this post.

35 and sick of working dont want to do it for another nearly 40 years.
Changed job and hate working in any job
dont want to do any job im happy doing nothing

thats it thats the thread

OP posts:
Profpudding · 10/06/2025 14:13

I completely get it. I plan to retire at 57 even if it’s in absolute poverty I don’t care.
I’m not continuing with this bollocks

Mandylovescandy · 10/06/2025 14:16

Had my work PDR recently and was asked what my plans were over the next couple of years/long term in my career. The honest answer would have been get through the next couple of years doing the stuff I like the most and then retire - have no ambition beyond that

greencartbluecart · 10/06/2025 14:16

You don’t have to enjoy work

you just have to think of it as something you have to do to enable the things you do enjoy

screwyou · 10/06/2025 14:17

YANBU. I am 48 and so over it but sadly I need to eat so on we go 😂

screwyou · 10/06/2025 14:18

greencartbluecart · 10/06/2025 14:16

You don’t have to enjoy work

you just have to think of it as something you have to do to enable the things you do enjoy

I think the problem with this is that many people are only just making ends meet right now with little money left over for fun, that makes it really tough.

2025isavibe · 10/06/2025 14:19

Yanbu. Mid 30s, sick of it. Can't stand the thought of another 40 years. When I'm on annual leave I feel like a completely different person, I'm so much happier. But I've got bills to pay now and can't afford to retrain so here we are.

Profpudding · 10/06/2025 14:19

Have you looked into the fire movement?
It stops me in my tracks every time I want to order a new pair of UGG boots or a new pair of gazelle’s which I don’t need, but I would quite like
I think to myself am I Prepared to spend an additional eight hours of my life at work for a pair of shoes
Versus being at the beach
Nine times out of 10 the beach wins

MsTTT · 10/06/2025 14:20

What are you doing to make your dream of retiring early a reality, OP?

I’m 42 and plan to retire at 50. I was around your age when I started putting serious plans into place. It’s not easy but can be done- it does takes discipline.

greencartbluecart · 10/06/2025 14:22

See I could cope with making ends meet because it was better than the alternative

and I find fun without needing to spend money / society is so warped and it’s harming people

fun is what you do in your spare time and there is plenty you can do that doesn’t cost anything

put tha radio on and dance
grab a few mates and watch a silly film on freeview
go for a walk with a mate and have a competition to spot the most ford cars or butterflies

having a laugh with mates is the best fun and shouldn’t need money

Brownthosebrownonionsbrown · 10/06/2025 14:26

Not unreasonable to want it, or to tell us

probably a bit unreasonable to sit on your hands permanently moaning about it

anitarielleliphe · 10/06/2025 14:27

Unless you have come into a large "life-changing" sum of money, you do realize that you must work. You must be self-sufficient and not become a burden on society. However, I understand the sentiment when you have been unable to find your "calling." From personal experience, I can tell you that when you do find your calling, and you can have more than one over the course of your life, you do not view your "work" as work.

So, the best advice I can give to you at this point is to do some thorough, as much as possible "unbiased" introspection. It begins with asking yourself a series of questions and being 100% honest in your response. If you do not know the answer at the time of asking, spend some time over the next few days thinking about it, pulling from past experience, your gut, whatever, to eventually get to an answer. The questions could be these and more, and get to the root of your personality type, your preferred "work" environment, and what skills, task, types of work make you happy inherently:

  1. What skills or talents do you have?
  2. How do you like to spend your "free time" when money or work is not a wearing worry?
  3. What are your interests in life?
  4. What are your strengths and weaknesses?
  5. What comes easy to you?
  6. And what does not?
  7. What is your preferred environment or when you think of a "place" . . . what is that happy place?
  8. Do you get energized when you are surrounded by people, or drained? And if energized, is there a "time cap" on how long you can be around people before you need to "refresh" and "rejuvenate."
  9. Do you need your environment to be quiet in order to concentrate, or do you like sounds, movement and a flurry of activity, or something in-between?
  10. As a child, how did you spend your free time . . . in physical activities . . . in contemplative activities like art . . . and how did doing these things make you feel?

Use this as a starting point to "re-think" your path in life. For example, let's say that you have fallen into the "service" industry (i.e., restaurants, etc.) or the "retail" industry because this is what your parents did, it was the best job you could get at the time, etc., but you've come to realize that you are unhappy. WHY? Analyze the detail on why you are unhappy. This helps you figure out yourself . . . what your personality type is . . . what your natural talents are . . . what your preferred environment is, etc.

How can your personality type affect what you choose for a career? Well, there are professions that require a lot of interaction with people who may or may not be friendly. When you think about it, are you exhausted "mentally" by this? Is it possible that you are truly and introvert and have been forced into a career highly devised for an extrovert?

Maybe you are, from your perspective, "stuck" in an office job at a desk. It is work that you are skilled at, but it is boring, and you find yourself day-dreaming as you look outside. Is it possible that it is the "lifestyle" of the job that has you down? In other words, you are happy when you are "outside" and physically engaged in some task.

The key is NOT to strive to become a millionaire. The key is to find a vocation that you love and feel provides purpose, but that also provides a livable wage. It is not how many things you can buy in life, but how you spend your time, and whether how you spend your time fulfills you and provides some happiness.

MumbleBumbleAppleCrumble · 10/06/2025 14:28

Totally sympathise. I have lots of passions and interests but I never managed to turn any of those into a career. At its best, I find a few things in the job to enjoy and some of my colleagues over various jobs have been wonderful, but it goes even beyond the idea of work to live, and often feels more like a torture.
It’s made worse by having a father and stepmother who are in careers (they chose not to retire) that they love and is their overriding passion. They just cannot understand that what I do doesn’t interest me, and indeed that I find being asked about my work rather depressing. It feels at times as if they judge me for not having either made a profession out of my passion or not having turned my profession into my passion.
I also grew up reading golden age crime books and PG Wodehouse and such and so it was quite a shock when I grew up to discover that you actually had to earn a living!!!

TwinklyRoseTurtle · 10/06/2025 14:29

MsTTT · 10/06/2025 14:20

What are you doing to make your dream of retiring early a reality, OP?

I’m 42 and plan to retire at 50. I was around your age when I started putting serious plans into place. It’s not easy but can be done- it does takes discipline.

Can I ask how you did this? Was it investing?

ilovesooty · 10/06/2025 14:36

You mean you have no work ethic at all.
People work unless they have independent means. It's just the way it is.

scotchbonnetface · 10/06/2025 14:36

Oh god I feel the same! I can’t do this for another 30 years 😭😭.

Lovemysleeeeeep · 10/06/2025 14:38

Id rather live on benefits than work in my 70s.
Then again i think whats worse some are going to still have kids to take care of at that age.

scotchbonnetface · 10/06/2025 14:38

MsTTT · 10/06/2025 14:20

What are you doing to make your dream of retiring early a reality, OP?

I’m 42 and plan to retire at 50. I was around your age when I started putting serious plans into place. It’s not easy but can be done- it does takes discipline.

Please tell us how you did this. I’m 42 now and sinking in to a depression! Did you clear your mortgage early?

Profpudding · 10/06/2025 14:39

ilovesooty · 10/06/2025 14:36

You mean you have no work ethic at all.
People work unless they have independent means. It's just the way it is.

They don’t they do they.
They don’t have independent means what you mean is that they have the means to earn money off other people’s labour that’s not independent. Never was never will be
So, who lacks the work ethic there?

Profpudding · 10/06/2025 14:40

scotchbonnetface · 10/06/2025 14:38

Please tell us how you did this. I’m 42 now and sinking in to a depression! Did you clear your mortgage early?

Lots of people do clear their mortgage early but actually if you have an investment that’s bringing you an 8% tax free every year and your mortgage is 4%. Then it makes more sense to plough the money into the investment that’s making you more
money Rather than the one that’s costing you
Paying off the mortgage is very much psychological. It is not always the best vehicle to Financial freedom and in some ways it can really cause you problems if you lose your job.
People think you’ll be fine if you own your home which is true if it’s out right but not in that 25 year period while you’re paying it off. There’s definitely a tipping point around to the 12 year mark
Prior to that if it all turned to dust, you would be better off not owning

iliketheradio · 10/06/2025 14:41

I am similar age and am embarking on a new career because I realised at 30, that I could not do "this" (a nondescript office job) until I retire. That is no insult to people who do or can, but I wanted a job where I worked with people and I felt trapped in an office. Maybe a different career might help ease the pain? Or be your own boss?

ForeverDelayedEpiphany · 10/06/2025 14:41

I have to work and feel terrible as I recently had my third concussion. I've also had a medication induced neurological involuntary movement disorder called tardive dyskinesia now for nearly a decade, and it's awful but there's no real support so I just keep trying.

My passion has always been writing and reading, but my first concussion made me lose my ability to read properly, and it was devastating.

I'm doing a job that pays less than NMW, and got a degree to boost my career prospects but they've been curtailed by my health woes. It truly sucks and the idea of working for another 40 years is terrifying.

I've always been pretty stoical and worked hard, but occasionally I think what on earth is the point 😞😢

cardboardvillage · 10/06/2025 14:42

Thats life mate. Sorry

RitaFromThePitCanteen · 10/06/2025 14:43

Same here. I've never enjoyed working, it exhausts and depresses me, but ironically I've worked extremely hard at every job I've had (maybe that's the problem and I should learn how to slack off?). It's miserable to think I've got at least another 30 years of this. We only get one life and we have to waste the majority of it working and being unhappy, recovering from work and preparing to go to work.

dogcatkitten · 10/06/2025 14:50

Oranges836 · 10/06/2025 14:12

Changed name for this post.

35 and sick of working dont want to do it for another nearly 40 years.
Changed job and hate working in any job
dont want to do any job im happy doing nothing

thats it thats the thread

What is your idea of doing nothing? Staying home all day watching TV, I expect that would also get tedious. Have you got an income stream? Can you buy a small holding and live off the land, mind that's hard work. Rich sugar daddy, that might be hard work too! What is your plan?

ilovesooty · 10/06/2025 14:51

Profpudding · 10/06/2025 14:39

They don’t they do they.
They don’t have independent means what you mean is that they have the means to earn money off other people’s labour that’s not independent. Never was never will be
So, who lacks the work ethic there?

No. I mean unless people are born into wealth and inherit money, the general expectation is that you go to work and earn money to live. Bleating about not liking "any work" in your 30s seems to me to be the mark of a lazy person.