51 and so very tired from working - but I have another 15 years to go yet

[chinesestirfry]

certainly not wishing my life away BUT ...

I am just so worn out, tired, lethargic from working. Like the rest of the world, I have been working for 30 years plus. It's not the job, the job is not pressured at all. I work hybrid. It's very family friendly. It's the constant need to deliver/manage and keep going. Keep pushing at work, keep turning up, keep up the façade that I'm interested. keep up the enthusiasm, keep playing the game (so to speak). I (we) have another 15 years before the mortgage is paid off. I don't know how I will last that long. Technology at work is moving so very fast. It's all now beyond me and I don't care to keep up with the moving pace.

I have to carry on but I have nothing left in me to give

And all the new language. Reaching out. Cascading. Touch base. Circle back.

Ffs. It's Let's just have a quick chat.

And dont even get me started on the pronouns on emails.

Yep, me too, a 16 year old with ASD and mental health problems who's been out of school for years and multiple elderly parents/in laws in need of lots of support - work gets about 1% of my energy these days. I like my actual job, but like other PPs, the amount of corporate 🐂 has just grown and grown, and i just can't be bothered any more.

OP I feel this, I’m taking a massive gamble and retraining, back to a degree and total shift in career, it’s the only way I can keep going is to totally change. I’m 50.

So many of us here with health issues. Keeping on top of these can feel like a part-time job in itself.

It’s hard. I have felt like you for the last few months so much so that I am currently off sick with anxiety. Nothing left in the tank. Utterly exhausted. Brought up 4 children and just as they become adults and more independent I am now dealing with my elderly mother who has had a stroke. The responsibilities are never ending. And the guilt. Work is just too much. Have decided to take partial retirement in the hope of a more balanced life. Who knows. Feel like I’m just dodging balls being lobbed at me non stop. Definitely check your physical health, vitamins, HRT etc. Good luck and no YANBU

@GiveDogBone I am sat here questioning as to what indeed is the point of YOUR post? If you have nothing to contribute to a popular and thought provoking thread, and it’s obvious you haven’t bothered to read the kind and helpful responses of others, then, instead, maybe you should be asking yourself what is the point in your post?

50 and I've been going through this, almost total despair about work, for a fair few years now. If the strategy gets any more refreshed it's going to blow peoples nostril hair out (the tweaks are so imperceptible they need explaining in many many video calls, meetings, spreadsheets, processes emails etc etc blah blah blah - and we still don't really understand any of it because it's b'-cough-shit ).
In all honesty we are doing almost EXACTLY the same work as we were 25 years ago but don't tell the ones who think they invented it all yesterday.

Ride the (fleeting) waves, coast the (many) troughs.

Are you menopausal op? It’s just I started to get like this and things improved after going on HRT. I’m 58 now and off all that and know my work malaise is just me limping towards the finish line now.

Younger than you yet still totally relate.

Bizarrely my current family tree researching fad has made me feel slightly better as my ancestors appear to have been very poor but also surprisingly long living, so I’m pleased at least I won’t still be working as a bricklayer at 72 before ending up in (and dying) in the workhouse, presumably as became too old to work and therefore had no money 😔

Can you afford to drop a day, or leave and get a part time job in different industry?

It gets hard to tolerate the nonsense doesn’t it? I have slightly ‘quiet quit’ but in reality I am good at my job and have seen it all before and it’s just easy to perform at the same level as the youngsters.
I have stopped trying so hard. After decades of working it will now be my own manager’s problem if my performance isn’t up to scratch. I think she’ll go after the two useless men I work with first though so I’ll just plod on with the pointless endless meetings and emails.
I have to either work to 63 or downsize and move away. Slightly complicated by my three young adults still living with me as they can’t afford to move out!
There is NO WAY my own mum would have been faffing about with Goals and Performance figures in her early 60s. She was watching daytime TV and helping with grandchildren.
Solidarity. If the government wants us to wait until 67 for our pensions the world will have to deal with tired middle aged men and women who don’t care any more.

Get a line from your Doctor to give yourself a break.

What's wrong with just taking annual leave, ffs?

It may be worth visiting your GP. I felt like this, exhausted all the time, absolutely no energy, and it turned out that I had hypothyroidism after a blood test. Have a look at the symptoms on the NHS.

I made a big career change in my mid-40s, and am still working at nearly 70. I'm lucky enough to be doing work that I love though, which makes a huge difference.

I'm retiring at the end of September.

If you are 51 your state pension age will be 67 or 68

Suggest get a state pension forecast & it will confirm your state retirement age

Here is link

https://www.gov.uk/check-state-pension

Short term solutions are:

Sabbatical - my friends have successfully negotiated this
Extended leave to get your energy back
A very long holiday
Signed off by GP for short break
Part time

Long term:

A meaningful downsize
A complete lifestyle change
Move to a much cheaper area
New job

Your next issue will be total burn out, it sounds like you are almost there already. Then you won’t have any control over how this is managed as you will be incapacitated.

The idea of ploughing on in a primary school until 67 is warping. It's another 17 years for me of physically demanding, 100% engaged work which literally never lets up or has 'quiet days'.

Does your employer have an EAP scheme?
could offer help or solutions - ours can offer 6 counselling sesstions.

If not, why not look for an employment coach if you can afford it, or your local council may have something on offer. (or local charities)
An employment coach might help you arrive at coaching strategies for your current role, or explore alternative employment.

I know how you feel. Same age here. I’m fortunate that my mortgage is paid off though. I’m hoping to give up at 55/56 but my dh is older so has his pension kicking in in 6 years time anyway, he’s retired on savings now as he simply couldn’t work any longer, mentally the job was killing him.

I’ve done the maths and we can live on £30k, that’s what we have spent so once state pensions eventually kick in we need £10k from private pots which isn’t an issue meaning we can draw down ahead of state retirement

I work in the nhs. Lots and lots of managers are this age, and female.

Sell your house, downsize, resign. As a pp has said, you sound like you’re heading towards burnout. This happened to a friend of mine and she went from being effortlessly brilliant to a bag of cats in the space of a fortnight - it was scary.

Perhaps look at it a different way ?

You have not been made redundant
So you still have a good job, so keep this going

Find some new hobbies that excite you
Make your home life more exciting !

Take some vitamin tablets
Look at your diet
Sleep better

Take some exciting holidays

Menopause sucks !

I was just thinking the same, yesterday.
I like my job, it’s enjoyable, flexible.

But I just want it to go away for now.
I think it’s tech. I’m always on, always!

Years ago, you’d leave the office 5pm
And that was it. I feel owned by work now.

I have a friend the same, effortlessly brilliant. Her career, house, kids, all pristine. I asked her how she does it? She says she’s so close to the edge at all times, she’s waiting to fall.