51 and so very tired from working - but I have another 15 years to go yet

[chinesestirfry]

certainly not wishing my life away BUT ...

I am just so worn out, tired, lethargic from working. Like the rest of the world, I have been working for 30 years plus. It's not the job, the job is not pressured at all. I work hybrid. It's very family friendly. It's the constant need to deliver/manage and keep going. Keep pushing at work, keep turning up, keep up the façade that I'm interested. keep up the enthusiasm, keep playing the game (so to speak). I (we) have another 15 years before the mortgage is paid off. I don't know how I will last that long. Technology at work is moving so very fast. It's all now beyond me and I don't care to keep up with the moving pace.

I have to carry on but I have nothing left in me to give

late 40's and I totally hear you!! I don't even have kids to add to the mental load (BF does though and are adding to my worry list) but I'm just over the same old shit at work. My heart isn't in it, I'm at that stage in my career where there doesn't to be any training opportunities or opportunities for development. The whole work environment has changed since lockdown and I don't like it. I have to keep the house running on a single income so opportunities to change career are relatively slim (have also realised I'm quite well paid for what I do and my levels of responsibility!). Elderly parents are becoming a worry but live miles away. My only glimmer of hope is having light at the end of the mortgage tunnel so might be able to drop a working day in a couple of years time.
Rant over

I think op this seems to be common for women in late forties, early 50’s. Then they seem to ping back to something more like normal for a decade or two.

I realise that might not be a comfort for today, but at least it might not be fifteen years of this!

I'm younger than you but could have written that post. I think I hit burnout a few years ago. Job change didn't help. Am now hanging on until the mortgage is paid off (hopefully 2 1/2 years) and kids have moved out and then hoping to move to something with less pay, less stress, that I can just plod along with until I can give up working.

It's crap though

I felt like you op but I now just do what’s expected of me and no more. I have come to the realisation that I will get paid exactly the same if I go the extra mile than if I do my job and go home, I will also be replaced and forgotten either way so I am far more focused on family and enjoying life. I stopped trying to make everyone else happy a long time ago and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.

It feels like there's a lot more bullshit attached to work now and we're all supposed to be passionate and enthusiastic (not to mention inclusive and creative) whereas previously all that was expected was that we do our jobs and get paid. I don't know what the answer is but it's tiring, the amount of mental eye rolling all this nonsense generates.

Funnily enough I could have written this at 41. I was in a job with totally unsupportive, toxic managers. Was a sandwich carer, totally burnt out and sliding into perimenopause. Now I'm 51, my life is calmer, I'm healthier and I'm wholly more positive about work.

I think a lot depends of personal circumstances. It's entirely possible to get your mojo back if you are in the right job/organisation and life isn't kicking you in the crotch too much. I would also say HRT has also been a game-changer in terms of energy levels....

I feel the opposite way and want to work more and better, but maybe I should count my blessings. I have caregiving in the future, so I might be grateful for being underemployed now.

Same. Just go through the motions now. Dont care about work anymore. Lost interest in it. Just do the minimum I can get away with now.

I was the same. Luckily I retired by 50 & have never felt happier. Save what you can, so you can get out earlier.

I've felt like this since I was 25. Keep hoping for that lottery win.

@chinesestirfry solidarity comment from me too. Am 52 single, worked 30 years FT with no breaks as have no children. No periods unemployment either. I’ve been trying to break into a particular type of work for so long in a different department of same employer and am there for a few months. Things is I’ve been trying since my 30s and now I’m here the AI they’re starting to use for some tasks and just the general fast pace and complexity of it is such I feel 5he willing is there but not the energy. I’m peri and have no family/friemds, have a shoulder impinge,ent and hip,tears and lethargy and am struggling to keep on top of housework in a property with gardens far too big for me to manage alone. I feel like a pensioner already and am pretending to enjoy my new temporary placement as much as I can but it hurts knowing it’s arrived too late. Even though it aligns with the degree I studied in 94mand I’m still interested in the subject matter it feels in to old and too late to forge a career in it now. Trying really hard for a promotion in my main role so I can bump up my pension as otherwise I’ll have to work closer to 15 than 10 years and that thought is killing me right now.

oh gawd, this too!! It's always "something" week or month and there's so much "noise" that isn't directly related to our work. I just want to do my work, deliver a good job for Clients and go home.

This thread is comforting in a depressing kind of way. I’m WFH today feeling like I just have no oomph at all, and it’s like this all the time.
My SEN kids are now young adults living at home, and I have big worries about them launching (or not), their father died recently, and I’m just tired of working my arse off and still feeling skint.

I’ve loved my career but I’d happily walk away from it all now.

The previous job I had, they used to have dressing up days for things like world book day. People wore costumes to work. It was ghastly and would regularly drive me to the point of existential crisis.

Can you overpay your mortgage so it's paid off sooner. You might be able to live off your work pension once you are sixty, and then claim your state pension.

I'm younger than you OP but I have been having a really tricky time feeling like I'm not very good at my job recently. It's since I've had kids, both very young, and my brain just doesn't seem to retain information how it used to. I've been feeling quite down about it tbh and thinking about my options, perhaps moving to another role or even a career change. I had hoped to derive satisfaction from my job but I feel so bad at it now, and I've always been hopeless at 'playing the game', getting ahead etc. There's just too much to do. The fact wages have massively stagnated since 2008 isn't much help either.

OMG, we've not gone quite as far as fancy dress thankfully @MyDelma 😱
It's just little things that annoy me like the option to have pride rainbow lanyards. I don't need a fucking rainbow lanyard to prove I support the LGBTQ+ community, but if I don't have are people going to think I don't?

I am really struggling working full time (53) at the moment. I love my job, it is stressful and always busy if I could work four day I would. I have been told by a few colleagues they felt better after menopause so hoping I shall feel the same

I can’t see when I shall be able to retire and tbh, 20-30 years retirement fills me with horror I don’t want to retire I just want to cut back on the hours working

First of all I think you'd benefit from a health check-up on your thyroid, vitamin and iron levels. If all is well, would you be able to downsize your house and reduce your mortgage? What sort of home could you afford if you worked part-time?

@chinesestirfry have you had a full blood screening. Vit D, iron, B12, thyroid, etc.

What do you do to prioritise you?

Look it it this way, being retired for 30+ years isn't feasible for most people so put that out of your mind at this time. Plan for your retirement instead and try to get a job that you can do until you retire.

I couldn't work for a big corporate entity and deal with all the bullshit either. I work for a small organisation and feel like I'm making a difference.

I’m in my early sixties now (too young for state pension and one of my work pensions) and I am so burnt out from working (plus was a single mum for many years, well still am but they are grown, plus a carer for elderly parents) that I’ve taken early retirement and living on a (very) tight budget till a work pension kicks in. I literally have nothing left in the tank. I had two interviews recently and failed them both. I knew I wanted out of the work game when both interviews asked the same damn questions - where do you see yourself in five years (er, collecting my pension) and tell me about a challenging situation you overcame, (do you want me to talk about my ex’s alcoholism when the kids were young, or the b*tch of a line manager I had to endure for two years who was about 25 years younger than me?). I was done. Thankfully I am mortgage free which has enabled me to live on a pittance but be free and so much happier. It’s not so much the work but the interviews I just can’t do them anymore.

OP I was exactly where you are. I was in a role where I felt like all my years of experience counted for nothing, I’m not a ‘yes’ person but was made to feel that was what they wanted, and more and more work was piled on without any tangible benefit. It was even worse when COVID hit and I had to try and juggle 9 fee earners and an increasingly hysterical (and I suspect bipolar) boss whilst working from home. Luckily we got to a point where my DH said that I could give up work at the same time as he retired so I did. That was three years ago and we’ve only just drawn down a bit of his pension. I won’t get my State Pension for another 4 years but we should be able to manage until then.

The health benefits of going early have been immense. I’m calmer, not as stressed, and my stomach doesn’t drop if my phone rings. DH said I don’t think I had realised how stressed and tired I was, he was watching from the sidelines and felt so helpless, all he could do was offer a shoulder to cry on when it got too bad.

To feel as you do is hell OP, so what I’m trying to say is if you can look for alternatives, cut your hours, and do something that makes you feel better and more energised then I would go for it, because if the last few years have taught us anything it’s that life is too short not to be happy.

It’s not you OP. It’s how work is now for a lot of people. As above, the endless changes, the staring at a screen all day, the corporate bollocks.
Its definitely worse since Covid imo.
Im not burnt out but I’m so BORED with it all, and my job feels like a total bullshit job. I’d like to do something more “ real” but those kind of jobs are all too low paid for my mortgage… so I do my job but mentally I’m somewhere else.

I’m with you op. I’m 52, had a pt job at 14 to 16, then had a ft job since then. Excluding mat leave I’ve never had more than 3 weeks off in a row. I also worked all through both the lockdowns.

Ive just had enough. I too have a good job and I wfh. I like my job and it’s not too stressful and I earn a good wage. I just can’t be arsed any longer. I really have to push myself to hit deadlines, get reports out on time and actually care about my customers. I sit in meetings with corporate customers such as retail, solicitors etc and I just can’t get worked up about the things they talk about. I sit and think, fgs you sell cars, it’s not the end of the world if you can’t do x, y or z for an hour, it’s not like you’re curing cancer!