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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be this petty to my husband?

87 replies

HoneyPie12 · 09/06/2025 21:56

So I can only sleep in total darkness and silence like a weird vampire. My husband can only sleep watching TV. We compromised and he watches a film on his ipad with headphones but the flickering of the films also does my head in. Especially fight scenes in films, it lights the bedroom up IYSWIM. Now after the last time of it happening, I waited untill he was in the shower and quickly adjusted all of his ipad brightness settings and put on all of the eye shield/dark mode stuff I could find. He can still watch it obviously, but the screen isn't a big ball of light screaming in my face and his eyes are now very protected (what a kind thoughful wife eh!)😆 😅 I overheard him saying to our son that the ipad might be on the way out and soon I'll have to confess to my crimes which he will no doubt find hilarious. I should also mention that I would sleep with an eyemask on but that makes me feel like I'm going to be attacked by zombies/monsters in the night so I just get annoyed internally at every spec of light intead while being aware the eyemask probably would be a £1 solution to my lifes problems.

Please make me feel better by telling me the very slight, but probably annoying/petty things you do to your partner that makes you secretly a little bit happy!

OP posts:
taq1 · 09/06/2025 22:00

Not unreasonable at all, and even if he is someone who can only sleep watching TV if you hadn’t put night shift mode on the blue light from screen otherwise could potentially have reduced his sleep quality

Craftycorvid · 09/06/2025 22:01

Time for separate bedrooms!

Koazy · 09/06/2025 22:01

Why would he find that hilarious?

Annascaul · 09/06/2025 22:02

Just wear the eye mask 🙄

HoneyPie12 · 09/06/2025 22:03

Koazy · 09/06/2025 22:01

Why would he find that hilarious?

He finds most of the things I do like this hilarious. Probably why we have been together so long and I can't wait to snog his face off most days. Well, unless him watching stupid movies on his ipad with flickering lights piss me off I suppose 😄 🤣

OP posts:
HoneyPie12 · 09/06/2025 22:04

taq1 · 09/06/2025 22:00

Not unreasonable at all, and even if he is someone who can only sleep watching TV if you hadn’t put night shift mode on the blue light from screen otherwise could potentially have reduced his sleep quality

So really, I'm a very helpful wife! And didn't do it solely for my own benefit!

OP posts:
Kimmeridge · 09/06/2025 22:05

He seems to be the one doing the compromising so far. Sounds like you need to use a mask or have separate rooms

HoneyPie12 · 09/06/2025 22:05

Annascaul · 09/06/2025 22:02

Just wear the eye mask 🙄

I would but then the monsters would get me. Also I don't like the feeling of them pressing on my eyelashes. I'm aware that's also unreasonable but it gives me the ick.

OP posts:
Twoshoesnewshoes · 09/06/2025 22:05

a few years ago I switched from cows milk to oat, mainly for environmental reasons.
my DH said he didn’t like oat milk. I made his tea with it and said it was cows milk for about a year, then told him.
he did think it was funny, also now doesn’t like cows milk!

MatildaMovesMountains · 09/06/2025 22:07

Omg imagine being married to a manbaby who has to be soothed to sleep with TV 😕.

There's a lesson here, parents - sleep train your kids!!

HoneyPie12 · 09/06/2025 22:07

Kimmeridge · 09/06/2025 22:05

He seems to be the one doing the compromising so far. Sounds like you need to use a mask or have separate rooms

Or, and hear me out - he can just watch the film with his brightness dimmed and we can continue to live our best lives in one bedroom 😉

OP posts:
HoneyPie12 · 09/06/2025 22:09

I'm on board with this too, honestly. Elite wife behaviour x

OP posts:
HoneyPie12 · 09/06/2025 22:10

MatildaMovesMountains · 09/06/2025 22:07

Omg imagine being married to a manbaby who has to be soothed to sleep with TV 😕.

There's a lesson here, parents - sleep train your kids!!

It's pretty good being married to him tbh. His choice of films are questionable though. Also I thought the TV thing was normal for adults- I know loads of people who like it on to sleep? Every day is a school day if that's not true!

OP posts:
Kimmeridge · 09/06/2025 22:12

HoneyPie12 · 09/06/2025 22:07

Or, and hear me out - he can just watch the film with his brightness dimmed and we can continue to live our best lives in one bedroom 😉

So again it's all on him - no compromising there.

MatildaMovesMountains · 09/06/2025 22:12

HoneyPie12 · 09/06/2025 22:10

It's pretty good being married to him tbh. His choice of films are questionable though. Also I thought the TV thing was normal for adults- I know loads of people who like it on to sleep? Every day is a school day if that's not true!

Instant ick I'm afraid. Does he also need his food cut up and his botty wiped? 😅

MatildaMovesMountains · 09/06/2025 22:12

... but I'm glad your marriage is happy! 🥰

Monvelo · 09/06/2025 22:14

Just to say wouldn't it be lush to sleep in a pitch black silent box, ideally velvet lined...

Goditsmemargaret · 09/06/2025 22:14

MatildaMovesMountains · 09/06/2025 22:12

... but I'm glad your marriage is happy! 🥰

No you're not

HoneyPie12 · 09/06/2025 22:16

MatildaMovesMountains · 09/06/2025 22:12

... but I'm glad your marriage is happy! 🥰

Thanks - what a sweet thing to say. Aside from his night owl tendencies he is pretty perfect. I would prefer him to be in the pitch black dark in silence lying perfectly still for 12 hours a night but I'll forgive him for that one flaw ;) (and also has absolutely shit taste in music but thats another thread) xx

OP posts:
Golidlocksandthethreeswears · 09/06/2025 22:17

Monvelo · 09/06/2025 22:14

Just to say wouldn't it be lush to sleep in a pitch black silent box, ideally velvet lined...

spongebob squarepants coffin GIF

If you say so!

travelallthetime · 09/06/2025 22:17

I’m with you, the standby light on the tv annoys the shit out of me, to the point I often get up and switch it off at the plug.

and no to sleep masks, not only monsters but also I have a fear of strangling myself with one (irrational clearly)

HoneyPie12 · 09/06/2025 22:18

Monvelo · 09/06/2025 22:14

Just to say wouldn't it be lush to sleep in a pitch black silent box, ideally velvet lined...

The absolute dream. Preferably with about 10 pillows, my arms crossed over my body and the perfect temperature with just a hint of chill... and no husband tossing and turning either. Or kids to wake me at 3am saying they have wet the bed..

OP posts:
Panterusblackish · 09/06/2025 22:18

Kimmeridge · 09/06/2025 22:12

So again it's all on him - no compromising there.

Bedrooms are for sleeping not for bloody telly.

It's not about compromise, it's inappropriate of him to be watching a film in the bedroom.

Fellow non mask wearing weird vampire here too OP.

ObtuseMoose · 09/06/2025 22:18

MatildaMovesMountains · 09/06/2025 22:12

... but I'm glad your marriage is happy! 🥰

Backtracking from being a bitch so fast you probably got whiplash 🙄

HoneyPie12 · 09/06/2025 22:19

travelallthetime · 09/06/2025 22:17

I’m with you, the standby light on the tv annoys the shit out of me, to the point I often get up and switch it off at the plug.

and no to sleep masks, not only monsters but also I have a fear of strangling myself with one (irrational clearly)

I think I've found my people. On holiday the fire alarm thing had a little red dot and I just laid there staring at it thinking ill NEVER get to sleep now.

Spoiler alert, I absolutely could fall asleep I'm just irrational about any lights 😄 🤣

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