AIBU to be this petty to my husband?

[HoneyPie12]

So I can only sleep in total darkness and silence like a weird vampire. My husband can only sleep watching TV. We compromised and he watches a film on his ipad with headphones but the flickering of the films also does my head in. Especially fight scenes in films, it lights the bedroom up IYSWIM. Now after the last time of it happening, I waited untill he was in the shower and quickly adjusted all of his ipad brightness settings and put on all of the eye shield/dark mode stuff I could find. He can still watch it obviously, but the screen isn't a big ball of light screaming in my face and his eyes are now very protected (what a kind thoughful wife eh!)😆 😅 I overheard him saying to our son that the ipad might be on the way out and soon I'll have to confess to my crimes which he will no doubt find hilarious. I should also mention that I would sleep with an eyemask on but that makes me feel like I'm going to be attacked by zombies/monsters in the night so I just get annoyed internally at every spec of light intead while being aware the eyemask probably would be a £1 solution to my lifes problems.

Please make me feel better by telling me the very slight, but probably annoying/petty things you do to your partner that makes you secretly a little bit happy!

So if he needs a dummy, ipad to fall asleep, does it just stay on all night when he nods off?

Not everyone sleeps like a vampire. I sure as hell couldn't share a room with someone who insisted on pitch dark and no noise. I need at least white noise.

If you share a room and dont agree thats when compromise comes into it. Hes not wrong just because its not how you choose to sleep

My dh likes a screen to sleep too but I like to read. He watches his screen next door and tiptoes in when sleepy. We always had a no screen in the bedroom rule. If I want to stay up to read I'll go out of the room too. To be fair he is more likely to compromise on this and put on an eye mask and I'll use a little reading light. I don't mind an eye mask but the light from a screen bothers me before I fall asleep, even next to me while reading so it's just not allowed as a general rule.

Omg I bet you sleep with a limb hanging over the bed too. You are VERY brave!

What about the monsters under the bed. They'll grab that hanging limb!!

Yes!!! Other people just don't understand the delicate sleep eco system required and the fact that all of the normal absolutely right people sometimes accidentally marry weirdos who need tv to sleep!!

Get a blackout sleep tent and put a comfy mattress and lots of pillows in it, and put it in your bedroom.

@HoneyPie12 this is what you need - compromise 😄
Might be worth a try tho

Yeah I think so. But he watches films so once the film stops and the credits roll it just stays on the black screen I guess? Or the power saver comes on and it closes the screen? Not sure actually! I do find it hilarious that people think it's childish because I don't know any children that need it 🤣

YANBU OP. That would drive me insane. If DH is away I have to cover up his alarm clock because I can see it if he’s not there to block it 😂

He needs to learn to sleep without the TV. What a weird and offputting habit.

We share a room and actually don't disagree - he agreed the TV was probably a stretch for me when we stopped all the honeymoon period bedrooms are for sexy time and started being a normal couple who just want to go to bed and watch tik toks/ avoid kids/ read books etc - so he downgraded to an ipad and headphones.

I just silently seethe about the flickering lights because I know internally that saying it out loud to my long suffering husband who just wants to watch a film and go to sleep might not earn me many brownie points 🙃 😅

This is another thing. If he isn't there and the sun comes up without his massive head/shoulders to block it there is a bit of the blinds that let's the sun go on my face dead early in the morning. I actually also think he is inconsiderate for that too! (I could just turn over but it's not the point is it!) X

I hate going to sleep in the pitch black but H insists, I prefer some light, so I can see if any vampires come and attack me. I also can’t have arms or legs off the bed, I always feel like something might grab me 🤣. Also my husband is a very light sleeper and if I have to go to the loo in the night, I end up walking into the door frame because I can’t bloody see anything.

I feel like this is quite valid. If we were married I would allow some light but the chink of light can't be near my face! The vampire argument stands though- if you would rather see them coming I appreciate that 😄 🤣

Eye mask (you get used to them) and ear plugs saved me from having to bury my husband under the patio.

We have to have blinds and black out curtains, he also insisted when we first moved in together that all the bloody rugs in the house were identical. I soon educated him on that one, oh and he loved beige and hardly any clutter but as I’m on the cusp of being a maximalist, he soon appreciated a house with personality.

According to my weather app, dawn starts before 4 AM currently. 4 AM.

Figure out the eye mask and leave him to his iPad weirdness.

How about he listens to an audio story on his phone, in the pitch dark and with headphones. It might work.

For some reason I thought that item was to go around OPs head and pillow, not the flipping ipad. I need to go to bed 😂

I'm with you OP, I can't stand tv/phone being on when I'm trying to sleep. I think it's the flickering rather than the brightness as I have to sleep with the landing light on (kids and cat are to blame for that). I also agree that the monsters will get you if you wear eyemasks or earplugs 👻

Not the same, but I'm a night owl and DP is an early bird. We have different bedtimes for this reason alone. He'd love it if I went to bed with him but if we did I'd be tossing and turning and keeping him awake. So we compromise. Because that's what couples who have different needs do. Your need is to turn down the IPad colour. His compromise is to accept that.

Oh I have to have it dark to sleep. I use a padded eye mask like the one linked above. It doesn't touch my lashes.

Can you get an eye mask for a full compromise?

Update: I did show him this, this morning and he has absolutely cried laughing. His favourite comment was the one that said i was not only petty, but also selfish haha. He also said for full disclosure there is LOADS that annoys him about me at night so we thought it was only fair to add the list of what annoys HIM about ME too. He said he would like the women of mumsnet to know he has to compromise on loads of things for a quiet life (this isn't true, he just enjoys people being on his side for once 😆)

Things that I do that annoys my patient loving and apparently not wrong husband:

1. Insist on pitch black soundless room but won't wear earplugs or sleep mask (no earplugs so I can still hear my kids)

2. Wear full length massive nighties that apparently are "rank looking" and "willy shrivellers"

3)Wears massive fluffy socks to bed, only to pull them off in the middle of the night asleep so he thinks there is some kind of spider on him at 3am

4. Apparently if he turns over I also sigh really loudly 😄 🤣

5. Get up too early then moan all day I'm tired

Thanks for all the replies, moving forward I'll be taking aalll of the advice for him changing how he is, and none of the ones that said somehow I had to change how I am 😉 xx

God, I miss the laughter response button 😂

My female partner cannot get to sleep without talk radio on , what a womanbaby she must be to be have to be soothed to sleep by a radio