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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Angry re dog

131 replies

Dogmadlove · 09/06/2025 18:45

We are a family of 4. We have a 3 bed terrace house with an ok size garden. DH is adamant we can’t get a dog. He says the house is too small 🙄. I think it will have a calming effect on our 2 boys and family. How can I convince him??

OP posts:
Imadesomething · 09/06/2025 18:47

Why do you think it would have a calming effect on the children? More likely is the opposite.

HangryLikeTheHulk · 09/06/2025 18:48

What are you looking forward to most ?

a) picking up their still-warm shit

b) paying ludicrous vet bills

c) replacing all the stuff the dog damages

DildoSaggins · 09/06/2025 18:49

We were a family of 4 in a 3 bed end terraced with an okay sized garden and we got a dog. Never once did the house feel too small. In fact we actually then ended up getting another one. So once there were 4 of us plus 2 medium sized dogs in the house at the same time living in perfect harmony.😊

Sounds like excuses to me. I just don't think he wants to get a dog.

ScurryfungeSpuddle · 09/06/2025 18:50

Why does he think the house is too small?

It's a dog, not a giraffe.

TomatoSandwiches · 09/06/2025 18:50

How old are your children?

Beamur · 09/06/2025 18:50

I think you're both wrong 😄
My old dog refused to go in the garden (rescue with bad associations with gardens).
Dogs are unlikely to calm your household. I think dogs are great for kids though.
Doesn't sound like you're ready for a dog though.

Dogmadlove · 09/06/2025 18:50

Imadesomething · 09/06/2025 18:47

Why do you think it would have a calming effect on the children? More likely is the opposite.

My 2 boys fight a lot and friends have said getting a dog helps in terms of being a positive distraction.

OP posts:
DisforDarkChocolate · 09/06/2025 18:51

Honestly, that's not a good reason to get a dog. They're not furry band aids.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 09/06/2025 18:52

Dogmadlove · 09/06/2025 18:50

My 2 boys fight a lot and friends have said getting a dog helps in terms of being a positive distraction.

Very nice but what can you offer the dog?

ScurryfungeSpuddle · 09/06/2025 18:52

Dogmadlove · 09/06/2025 18:50

My 2 boys fight a lot and friends have said getting a dog helps in terms of being a positive distraction.

Oh this really isn't a reason for anyone to take on the responsibility of a dog.

For one, most dogs absolutely hate people fighting and also they'll continue to fight once the novelty of a dog wears off.

Imadesomething · 09/06/2025 18:52

A dog to stop children fighting is a really bad idea. They need to be able to manage their behaviour enough to not fight before you bring a dog into the mix. They may even just fight over the dog.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 09/06/2025 18:52

Dogmadlove · 09/06/2025 18:50

My 2 boys fight a lot and friends have said getting a dog helps in terms of being a positive distraction.

How about teaching your kids not to fight.

I’m thinking your DH is using the house size as a convenient excuse to not go along with this stupid idea.

anitarielleliphe · 09/06/2025 18:52

It is all about the type of dog and training as to whether the dog will, indeed, have a calming effect, and whether the "pluses" outweigh the negatives. Dogs are an immense amount of work, if you are not a neglectful owner. In many ways, they are very much like having toddlers. You must provide training and reinforcement consistently. You must provide enrichment and exercise activities or they become bored, depressed and even destructive.

You must do your research, even when getting a mixed breed dog because certain traits are very much bred into different types of dogs, and will be present, even if it is not a purebred. For example, I would not recommend buying any type of "herding" breed or mix as they require an immense amount of exercise and get joy from "work" which will include herding your children, if they are not allowed to act in some capacity that fills that need.

If all you want is a passive dog that is basically a lapdog, doesn't have a lot of exercise requirements, and is fully available for petting, but doesn't need much else beyond basic needs like fresh food and water, and minimal affection, then consider either a cat or an older dog.

Indianajet · 09/06/2025 18:53

I don't think that is a good reason for getting a dog. You really need to want a dog for itself, not to stop your children fighting!

CurlyhairedAssassin · 09/06/2025 18:53

To put it very bluntly, if you can't manage your children and stop them from fighting with each other, what makes you think you can train a dog to be well-behaved?

Dogmadlove · 09/06/2025 18:57

TomatoSandwiches · 09/06/2025 18:50

How old are your children?

8 and 11

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 09/06/2025 19:00

Dogmadlove · 09/06/2025 18:50

My 2 boys fight a lot and friends have said getting a dog helps in terms of being a positive distraction.

Christ no, don't get a dog. Just parent instead (SN aside)
Also everyone in the house needs to be onboard with getting a dog so if your H doesn't want one then you don't get one

TomatoSandwiches · 09/06/2025 19:02

Do you think they may fight over the dog instead of it bringing them together?

MalcolmMoo · 09/06/2025 19:03

House size is absolutely fine. Your reason for getting a dog though I don’t understand? A dog is a massive commitment I have two and it’s hard work daily walks, extra cleaning etc.

BournardTourney · 09/06/2025 19:03

Do you know anyone with a dog that you could offer to dog sit for a weekend and see how it goes?

KickHimInTheCrotch · 09/06/2025 19:04

I don't think you can get a dog if your partner doesn't want one (whatever the reason). And badgering/persuading them is a bad a idea.

FoodAppropriation · 09/06/2025 19:04

Unless you have a park and acres of space, it's extremely lazy and cruel to rely on a "garden" when you have a dog.

It's not enough space or enough exercise anyway. It's great to have a garden, if you are unwell or busy first thing in the morning/ late at night, you open the door and they do their business, but it's nowhere near enough anyway.

Would you husband think a small garden is enough for his kids? of course not, they need sports club, space to run around, ride bike, swim, all the places we take them to.

Same for the dog anyway

Dogs are A LOT OF WORK!

If you don't exercise them enough, you and your house will pay for it, and again it's cruel. Training is not an "easy and quick" task either.

Dogmadlove · 09/06/2025 19:10

FoodAppropriation · 09/06/2025 19:04

Unless you have a park and acres of space, it's extremely lazy and cruel to rely on a "garden" when you have a dog.

It's not enough space or enough exercise anyway. It's great to have a garden, if you are unwell or busy first thing in the morning/ late at night, you open the door and they do their business, but it's nowhere near enough anyway.

Would you husband think a small garden is enough for his kids? of course not, they need sports club, space to run around, ride bike, swim, all the places we take them to.

Same for the dog anyway

Dogs are A LOT OF WORK!

If you don't exercise them enough, you and your house will pay for it, and again it's cruel. Training is not an "easy and quick" task either.

These are dh reasons as we both work ft.

OP posts:
AngelinaFibres · 09/06/2025 19:10

HangryLikeTheHulk · 09/06/2025 18:48

What are you looking forward to most ?

a) picking up their still-warm shit

b) paying ludicrous vet bills

c) replacing all the stuff the dog damages

Endlessly training your puppy.
Being unable to leave a barking dog outside because your neighbours will hate the noise but you can't work/ relax/watch tv/ speak on the phone without your dog barking when it's in the house. You're in a terrace do your neighbours will hate you whatever you do.
The smell of wet dog is horrible in a large house with a large garden.The smell of wet dog in a small house is absolutely disgusting.

FoodAppropriation · 09/06/2025 19:12

Dogmadlove · 09/06/2025 19:10

These are dh reasons as we both work ft.

if you both work full time, how much will you pay for a dog walker to take your dogs several times a day?

When will you train him?

If you get a puppy, they're monsters. It doesn't last that long, but it's very painful. (totally worth it if you ask me, but it's easier to have kids 😂)

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