Angry re dog

[Dogmadlove]

We are a family of 4. We have a 3 bed terrace house with an ok size garden. DH is adamant we can’t get a dog. He says the house is too small 🙄. I think it will have a calming effect on our 2 boys and family. How can I convince him??

Wouldn’t be a puppy.

So what will your dog be doing while you are out at work?

And what happens to the poor dog if he joins in their fights, due to stress and fear, and bites your child?

Learn to parent properly before you bring another life into this mess

Garden or with dog walker

Please don't get a dog OP, it wouldn't be fair on the dog.

It wont have a calming effect, your boys will just stress the dog out and it will end up being manic in the house.

You both work full time, who will look after it during the day? You cant just leave it in the garden all day.
Dogs are pack animals, they are social.

Utterly ridiculous idea.

If you can't manage to train your children, what chance have you got with training a dog and the children not to annoy the dog?

It can’t be in the garden all day. And being alone all day five days a week is really tough on a pack animal.

Do either of you work from home or will you literally be out the house 9-5? (8-6 whatever)

A friend of ours rehomed a dog for the same reasons you are stating.
It was a rescue and supposedly fine with children. They had it one night before her boys were screaming and fighting over a game and it went for one of them. I’d advise calming your boys down before introducing a dog.

No. You cannot just leave your dog in the garden while you are out at work.

I don't know why you're even considering it.

Your kids will still fight. You stated that the dog won't be a puppy, so you imagine you can get an adult rescue that won't be stressed or triggered by your kids shrieking at each other? It's just insane. It's an accident waiting to happen.

If you want a dog get one made by Steiff.

I don’t think your house/garden size is a problem. The problem is your lifestyles don’t suit a dog, your reasons for getting one make no sense and most importantly, your DH doesn’t want one.

May I say, from your posts, you don’t appear to have given it much thought. Dogs are a massive responsibility. I have an end of terrace with a smallish garden and I’ve just got a lab puppy this week. I have researched and researched to get the right breed from the right breeder, I work from home all the time, I am out walking a lot and I am totally aware of the work it’s going to take to train my pup to be where I need him to be. This is not a decision to be taken lightly. Rescues often have a lot of issues and can’t always be rehomed with children. You may struggle to get one from Dog’s Trust which will mean you’ll end up getting one from an online ad where the owner may be so desperate to get rid of a problem dog that they will tell you anything.

If you were more serious about it, I would probably recommend you get a rescue greyhound as they’re pretty easy going, need minimal exercise and usually have a nice temperament but I don’t think you should subject a greyhound to a chaotic household. I don’t think this is a good idea for you OP.

Well it absolutely won't have a calming effect but your house isn't too small. I've voted yabu because neither of you seem to have a clue about the reality of dog ownership.

This is a terrible idea. You might have the physical space to have a dog but you have a lack of time and a home with conflict. That's not going to create a calm dog and will just add to your problems. You can't expect a dog to sort your children's behaviour out

Greyhounds are very sensitive souls, I wouldn't put one, or any dog in household with fighting children.

It sounds like the whole dynamic is wrong for owning a dog at the moment OP. Why not let your children volunteer at a rescue if they are into dogs? Spending time doing something useful will be more distracting than a dog in the home as the novelty inevitably wears off.

Don't get a dog. It won't have the calming effect you imagine, it'll be chaos. You both work full time (possibly out of the house?), your kids argue, your husband doesn't want one and you're planning for a dog walker to take on responsibility for it most of the week so it would be incredibly unfair on the dog which would impact its behaviour. Please put this on the back burner until things change at home.

Are you prepared for:

1. Min 2 walks per day, of up to a total of 3 hours
2. Shedding all over the house (not in all cases granted)
3. Picking up poo from your garden on a regular basis
4. Additional food costs
5. Vets costs (even with a perfectly healthy dog this can be several hundred pounds a year - jabs, one-off visits etc
6. Regular worm and flea treatment
7. Additional costs when you go on holiday
8. Being constrained to being out of the house no more than 4 hours, or getting someone in to walk them / keep them company
9. Edited to add - insurance.

And if you get a puppy you can add a thousand more issues like toilet training, chewing, separation anxiety etc etc etc

I’ve had dogs all my life but they are not a panacea for all your family’s ills. They are sentient, sensitive beings who need diligent and committed owners.

You may want one - but will they want you?

Agree with pp. my friend has a dog and I help her with him as she’s disabled (plus if she goes out for a whole day - although that’s rare). They are such a tie. I really love walking him but no way would I get one as the challenges when you want to go somewhere you can’t take them are often significant.

Rescues don't re-home to homes with children..well none did when we looked ,we had to get a puppy both times

This is ridiculous. Your kids keep arguing so you want to get them something else to argue over?

You're clearly clueless and shouldn't own a dog. You can't just leave it in the garden all day FFS.

I just saw that you both work full time. Then you can't just stick the poor thing in the garden while you go to work all day. You could have all sorts of issues. Digging the garden, getting bored and distressed, barking and annoying the neighbours. Too hot in the summer, cold and wet in the winter. Just no. Its cruel.

Also you will need a dog walker to come in and take it for a walk each day, possibly two, or take it to doggy daycare.

A dog will not solve your issues, it will just add to it.

We only contemplated getting a dog, despite the kids wanting one for years, when at least one of us was WFH. Luckily now we both do and we can walk the dogs together twice a day but there was no way we would have had one when we both worked FT.

Your DH is right on this. Please don't get one!

Have you owned a dog before OP? Do you have any knowledge of dogs - their care, and the cost of looking after them properly?

I agree with other posters that its a strange reason for wanting a dog. It's actually rewarding your children for bad behaviour. It's not going to help their behaviour and its sure as anything won't be good for the dog.

And the fact your H doesn't want a dog makes the whole idea a non starter any way. You can't bring a dog into a situation where a member of the household doesn't want him.

You would leave a dog in your garden while you are work?

Do not get a dog.

Wow. Don’t get a dog.

Based on this, please don’t get a dog.

I worked for a charity that re-homed dogs. My job was to visit homes & approve or not potential adopters.
We never approved homes where both adults/parents worked full time. This leads to dog neglect.
In our case we had a dog, but I ran a business from home & there were people around in & out of the house throughout the day, so DDog was never left on its own for long. This is what a dog needs.
Wait until your circumstances change.

You both work full time.
You can’t leave a dog outside all day- people will report you.
A rescue won’t give you a dog if you work full time.
A dog is a hell of a lot of work (and pleasure) but you don’t get one for children/ to stop children fighting.
Dogs need calm and consistency, not shouting and screaming.