Angry re dog

[Dogmadlove]

We are a family of 4. We have a 3 bed terrace house with an ok size garden. DH is adamant we can’t get a dog. He says the house is too small 🙄. I think it will have a calming effect on our 2 boys and family. How can I convince him??

The size of the house isn’t the problem, sounds like an excuse. Your husband doesn’t want a dog by the sounds of it.

Please don’t do this. Kids will get bored of dog and you both work full time - poor dog will be left in garden to its own devices bored out of its mind. Our neighbours did this and the poor dog just barks constantly (and they leave it outside now even when they are home as they clearly just haven’t trained it or can’t be bothered to give it enough exercise and engagement). I feel so sorry for the dog.

Dogs are hard work. You say it won’t be a puppy - but rescues are also hard work.

"Learn to parent properly before you bring another life into this mess"

How dare you?

When my kids were five and eight we got a golden retriever. She was a fabulous dog, very calm and loving. She fitted into our family so well and the kids loved her. She was the sort of dog that you could hug and she would listen to all your troubles. She was definitely a calming influence in our family. They use dogs for all sorts of jobs and therapy is something they are really good at.

That could really stress the dog out 😥

A dog's role is not to distract kids from conflict as op is expecting. They may like a cuddle (or not) but they're not going to solve 2 boys who are arguing. Their parents are clearly struggling to do this so how on earth would a dog be able to help? It'd be a lonely, stressed dog and just add to the problems op has.

I mean, it's not inaccurate is it?

OP's kids fight - her own words.

Why would anyone, with any sense of personal responsibility, empathy or integrity, want to bring an innocent animal (and more importantly a puppy, which may get serious hurt by these fights) into that?

My Goldie once pissed on a child that tried to pat him.

Really calming...

On second thoughts, OP, get a dog.

I agree - sounds like an excuse to me and that he doesn't want to get a dog.
Do not get a dog with someone who doesn't want one, it's doomed to fail and will put irreparable strain on your relationship. It's bloody hard work and puppies are far from having a calming effect on anyone, for at least a year or 2.

So you want a dog who will be alone in the garden for hours at a time..?

Why don’t you put a bit of effort into parenting your kids instead of expecting a docile animal to do the job for you? 😳

Sorry, that's mental!

There are many good reasons to get a dog but to do so in the vain hope that it will stop two boys fighting is not one of them. The poor dog will be confused, anxious, miserable and possibly even aggressive to one or both of your sons.

Also, you cannot leave a dog out all day in a garden. In hot weather it can lead to fatal sunstroke, in winter it's simply too cold. In addition, your dog will be so bored it'll be barking excessively which will annoy your neighbours.

You cannot leave a dog in a garden alone it’s unsafe for the dog and annoying for the neighbours , your husband is correct you shouldn’t get a dog .

You get a dog because you will enrich the dogs life, not because it will have a calming effect on your children, which it certainly won’t.

I have a dog in a terraced house. If there's any other dogs nearby, one bark from one sets the whole lot off. I bring mine in as soon as they bark but some don't. Training them not to bark isn't 100% effective but we've stopped ours doing it when the kids further down shriek and scream. The barking will likely be an issue, especially if you don't know the dog.

Mine didn't used to bark until I had one Amazon guy hammer the door. Since then, he barks every time he sees an Amazon van/hears a knock. I stop it immediately but it's still annoying. If it's a dog you're planning to adopt, I'd be wary about it being around kids who get rough with eachother, even playing. You've no idea what that dog has been through.

These walls are thin! If the dog will be alone for long periods, which even with a dog walker it will as you both work full time, it could be an absolute nuisance for your neighbours. I wouldn't do it OP. I work 4 hours a day and are friendly with my neighbours because I put alot of effort into keeping barking to a minimum.

Also to add: hyoer kids will hype the dog up. Kids not fighting but full of energy are more likely to annoy the dog (pick it up/take it's toys...) than be settled by it.

I live in a 2 bed renovation cottage with large teens and 4 massive dogs but we have land when we were in a small rental with 2 large dogs the only days the house felt too small was when it was raining for days on end and we had soggy bored dogs in the house, even here with space the winter is the worse.. that’s when you feel the space shrink, with coats, wellies.. dogs etc.

Also really depends on the size of dog, if you are getting a little dog it’s a total non issue

Wow, the more I read, the less I understand how you can think getting a dog would be a good idea for you! Leaving a dog at home alone all day (unless you work from home a lot) is really cruel. Dogs are social animals and really need to be with their people/family most of the time.
It's really hard work and a very intense commitment for (hopefully) 15+ years: at least 1h walk a day, vets, grooming, training and socialising, boarding and sitting when you go on holiday (this one will rinse you!), ...

then you would be totally UR to get a dog.

And you know your DCs won't look after it so it will be all down to the parents. And i assume you will want to 50/50 with your DH who doesn't actually want a dog.

This is a two yes situation, and you would be VVVU to even try to persuade him.

😂😂😂

K, so an adult dog? A rescue? Most rescues do not adapt well in loud families with young kids. They usually need a lot of calm, a lot of reassurance, a lot of care and attention (and certainly not being left alone for 8h a day, or with fighting kids all weekend).

@reversegear op works full time, plans to leave the dog in the garden and is expecting it to deal with and calm her fighting sons. I don't think it's the size of dog vs home that people are worried about, more bringing a dog into this completely unsustainable situation

The only good reason to get a dog is because you personally want a dog, you will be the default dog looker afterer , long after the shine has worn off for everyone else, so unless YOU can't imagine life without a furry fart machine, don't get one.
I do get the calming influence thing though, my parents arguments were much quieter and more hissy once they got a dog, as shouting upset the dog

Dog lover here. We have four.

What will you do if you get one that doesn't cope with being left alone?

One of ours can't be left. We have to plan for her to be with someone 24/7. It's fine because our setup allows for it and we are willing to make the required sacrifices. It would be a disaster if she had to be left every day.

Insane idea. I'm dog mad, and have a big dog and wouldn't be without her ..BUT . She costs a fortune, insurance, feeding, training, enrichment classes. It's a small mortgage each month.
Dogs are a tie. Do you go on holiday? UK only? We go caravanning. If you want to go away without the dog, you are doubling cost to put into kennels.
Your kids fighting? Normal in most cases, they are forced to live with a sibling they don't necessarily like. They may become friends in time or drop each other as adults. Give them lots of different interests, divide and conquer.

No dog should be brought into a home where not all the adults are totally in agreement