Angry re dog

[Dogmadlove]

We are a family of 4. We have a 3 bed terrace house with an ok size garden. DH is adamant we can’t get a dog. He says the house is too small 🙄. I think it will have a calming effect on our 2 boys and family. How can I convince him??

We had dogs when the children were under primary school age. Rehomed one, one sadly died.
Waited until secondary school for te one. They were never a calming influence

Am sitting here, listening to the howling of the German Shepherd who belongs to my neighbours three doors down. They put him in the garden and leave him.

Never mind you boys, it's both of you working full time that needs to scupper your plans. I have an end garden but I take my dogs out every day.

Both of you need to be on board. To own is a big responsibility and it requires significant changes in the daily routine.
Never mind if the reasons he's given you are not good enough for you. He does not want a dog and you should stop asking for one.

Having a dog worked amazingly well for my family.

You were very very lucky. Relying on a canine to sort out problems 2 human adults can't, leave them
alone all day and live in a home where one adult doesn't even want them is a terrible idea

Were you out at work all day and the dog left outside?

@Dogmadlove I don’t think your reasons or environment are good to get a dog right now tbh. The biggest issue is you both work FT, not even WFH PT. Also, do the boys even want a dog? Additionally, I don’t think a dog will magically cure sibling squabbles. If anything it may distress a newly rescued dog who I imagine need the calm environment themselves in the first place to grow that trust and bond with you and your boys - not bring it in as a canine troubleshooter to create the calm environment for your kids! You’ve got it the wrong way around!

The relevance of the size of your house would depend on the breed. Fine for a sausage dog, probably not for a Great Dane.

You both work FT anyway so I wouldn't bother. It is cruel to leave a dog alone all day long.

The dog takes up as much space as it stands in. When we moved here, we did decide it was the right house for a dog, big kitchen. We had a galley kitchen previously and yes, we thought it wasn’t big enough. The garden is reasonably important, ours are very energetic and like to roam around, but ultimately, they get 3 walks a day, so again, not hugely important.

I wonder what his real issue is? They are a huge tie, we don’t go abroad anymore, kennelling is really expensive (we’re extremely fussy where they go!)

Can you stop telling me. Tell someone who gives a fuck.

I give a fuck about the dog.

Is that a joke? Dog stuck out in the garden on the days you are both working full time?
A dog that is to serve as a distraction for your two fighting lads?

No, don't get a dog.

They're 8 and 11 - which dog rescues do you reckon allow young children to volunteer?

full time work, fighting kids = recipe for disaster

So you'd leave your dog in the garden all day? All weathers?

Please do not get a dog. Dogs deserve better than that.

He doesnt want a dog......don't force him, if it's a deal breaker then you know what to do.

Don't get a dog unless everyone in the family is committed to looking after it - walking, training and cleaning up. Don't expect a dog to fix your children or their behaviour.

Not my fucking dog though. Stop targeting my replies.

The size of your house and garden would be fine for most dogs IMO. But the reason you've given for wanting a dog (to use as a calming distraction for your fighting children) is really not great. You should only get a dog if you actually want a dog. It shouldn't be the means to an end but an end in itself.

As for working full time, that very much depends on your schedule. If you and your husband are both out of the house for 8+ hours a day, it really wouldn't be fair on the dog. OTOH if you work from home or have flexible hours, that would be a different story. My DH and I have always worked full time, but we have flexible jobs, can work from home for much of the time, and can tag team each other. It works fine, some days our dog is left alone for an hour, sometimes two, and he is completely content.

Tbf a great dane is most likely to lie around sleeping all day, moving only to change position. I have 2 bernese mountain dogs and they dont race around like little dogs do.

Cats? Find a local rescue and wait for a couple of confident male cats. Personally I’d avoid long haired cats

We had a dog in our house growing up while we were warring teenagers. The dog thoght it owned the house, and used to bite the teenager it thought was in the wrong. Regardless, for you to have a dog and 2 children while working full time, you both need to be absolutely in agreement on getting one.

I wouldn't do it OP, I have dogs and love them, as does my DH, but I know someone who pestered to get another dog after their last one passed away, husband was dead set against it but she wore him down and got her way eventually.

Husband and children have absolutely nothing to do with the dog, and I mean nothing, not out of protest as such, they just have zero interest in it and never wanted another one. She is 100% responsible for all it's care, feeding, walking, health issues (which are quite a few), anything the dog does wrong, she gets blamed for for not training it properly. It has caused a lot of resentment within their family.

Apart from you and husband not having any time to dedicate to it, the other reason is if the children have not been bought up around dogs then they won't know how to behave around one, bringing a dog into a house where the children argue and fight is a recipe for disaster to be honest.

Same! I give a fuck about the dog(s) too, @DoyalikeDags . Good for you that you found the perfect one for your family, @Invisabledisappearingperson but if you'd read any updates from the OP, I doubt you'd want them to have a dog, tbh. Your positive anecdote does nothing for the OP's case, for whom having one sounds like the worst idea (mostly for the potential dog).

As someone who lives in a terrace next door to 2 constantly yapping dogs, don’t. Not unless you want to piss off your neighbours.