There’s a group of us that go out maybe once or twice a month for meals sometimes with a few drinks thrown in etc.
Its an all female group and we usually head somewhere that has a set menu (pre theatre/lunch) kind of idea. All taking turns on deciding the place we would eat.
Until recently this worked well, we would split the bill evenly. We’ve all had days where we’ve been on water or soft drinks so it worked itself out.
The last few times though when one of the party suggests the restaurant it hasn’t been where there are set menus which is ok but then this person has then ordered expensive dishes and expects the rest of us to split the bill rather than offering to pay extra as they have had a more expensive dish (for context meals averaged about £18 for a main course they ordered the steak £34+extra for sauce). The first time it was just split and nothing was said. The second time it happened when I got home I questioned it (if I had only paid for what I had eaten and drank my bill would have been about £40 but with all her extras split my bill was closer to £60. Normally it would be about £25/30 if we had set menus.
So this time I suggested if we go for al a carte then we should all just pay for what we eat and get a separate drinks bill (we can evenly split that) but with food it makes more sense. Now I’m questioning whether I’m in the wrong as the group chat I’m getting mixed responses, some are in agreement others think just splitting like we always do is fairer.
With her suggestions we are all having to spend more cash anyway but I think it’s unfair that we’re having to subsidise for her to eat. I also know some of the group money is tight, luckily I’m ok so don’t need to worry too much about spending. But I wasn’t always this lucky, I have been in the position of having to count every penny and made decisions about what to eat/order or even if I can go out on how much I can afford. The difference in costs for set menu to al a carte never mind subsidising someone else can be the choice of someone eating or not for a week.
I do understand that if moneys tight they shouldn’t come out or be that short they can’t eat but when the bill is normally £25-30 this could be doable to go to £40 but when it goes up to £60 then it might not be. So someone tight on money could order cheapest thing on the menu, still come out and afford to live without having to dip into money for other things or use credit cards etc but the people with extra money to spare could then order what they like.
what have others done in this situation? AIBU to suggest it?